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Do you use a different way to makea request depending on whether youare speaking to a friend or a teacher?
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Do you use a different way to makea request depending on whether youare speaking to a friend or a teacher?
I certainly do. While talking to myteacher, in order to show my goodmanners, I would use more indirect
and polite words and expressions.But with a friend, Id use more directwords or expressions for sure.
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What factors affect the way youmake a request?
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What factors affect the way youmake a request?
One factor is the age differencebetween me and the person Im talkingto. With my elders, I use more politeand formal language to make a request,
but Im more direct and informal withmy friends. Another factor is theweight of the favor.
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If I need to borrow some money
from a friend or ask a special favor, Illuse more polite expressions. But if Ijust want to borrow a pen or somethingnot so important, I will make a direct
and informal request.
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In everyday interactions, we oftenneed other peoples help, and when we do,
it is important to know the correct way to
ask for it. Making a request properly willnot only determine whether we actuallyobtain the help we need, but,
more importantly, affect theattitude that people havetoward us.
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Making requests, in other words,involves an understanding of etiquette
or politeness. In making requests in English,
it is necessary to learn not only certainwords and expressions, but also how to usethem appropriately.First of all, the way you
ask will depend on the social distancebetween yourself and the other person.
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For instance, if you are asking ateacher for help, you will probably use
more indirect and more formal words thanif you are asking a close friend or relative.Second, the language you usewill depend on the weight ofthe favor.
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If you are making a special requestfrom even a close friend, say to borrow
several thousand dollars, you will probablyuse more polite language than if you aremerely asking to borrow a pen.
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Even with these guidelines, it cansometimes be hard to know how to
make a request, especially in stickysituations. For instance, if you want astranger to keep quiet in a movie theater,you might want to give him a directcommand rather than make a request inorder to show howannoyed you are.
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However, even in this case, you willprobably get better results if you ask him
to quiet down in a polite andconsiderateway.
The most polite requests generally
use the expression Would you mind...?or Do you mind...? For example:
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1. Would you mind if I borrow(ed) yourelectronic dictionary?
Would you mind lending me this book?Do you mind if I turn the radio off?Do you mindturning the TV down?
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Requests that areslightly less
formal, but still indirect and polite, begin
with Would you, Could you, or Canyou. Please can be added foradditional politeness. Notice that
these requests are still in the formof a question.
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2. Would you (please) speak more quietly?
Could you speak more loudly, (please)?
Can you (please) speak moreslowly?
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If you want to be more direct, youcan make your request in the form of an
imperative sentence rather than aquestion. In this case, you can retain asense of politeness by adding the
word please.
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3. Please put the books on thetable over there.
If you want to give an order, or a
direct command, then you candelete theplease.
Put the books over there, please.
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The following are most often usedwhen someone isimpatient or
irritated:
4. Sit down, would you? I cant see the
television!Sit down! I cant see!
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DIALOGUES
1. Katherineasks a favor ofher uncle,who owns a computer store.
Katherine: Excuse me, Uncle Joe,
can I ask you a favor?
Uncle Joe: What is it?
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Katherine:you mind helping me set up anew program on my computer?I cant figure out how to do it.
Uncle Joe: Sure, but can you wait until
tomorrow evening?Katherine: Of course.
I know youre busy, but would
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Uncle Joe: O.K., Illstop by tomorrow
about seven.Katherine: Thanks so much! I reallyappreciate your help.
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2. Marge, asupervisorat Burger King,is talking to theemployees.
Marge: Excuse me, Ben, could you goclean up those tables over there?
Ben: Sure, but would you mind waiting a
few minutes? A man just spilledhis drink in front of the counter,and I need to mop it up.
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Marge: Thats all right. Ill ask Frank....
Frank, clean up those tables overthere, please.
Frank: O.K.! No problem!
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3. Richard is talking to his classmateWinnie.
Richard: Gee, I dont suppose you couldloanme a hundred dollars, could
you? I forgot to bring my
wallet to school today.
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Winnie: Gosh, I dont have much money
myself today. Its the end of the
week, and my mom hasnt
given me my allowance yet.Richard:
then, so I can take the bus home?
Winnie: Sure.Here you go.Richard:
Winnie: Dont worry about it!
Could you lend me just 30 dollars
Thanks! Ill pay you back tomorrow.
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4. Allen is watching TV when his mothercomes into the room.
Mother: Grandma is here to visit, and shehas a big suitcase to bringupstairs. She needs some help.
Allen: O.K., just a minute....Mother: Allen, did you hear me?Please go help your grandma.
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Allen: All right.... I will...in a minute.Mother: Get up right now, would you? Go
help your grandmother! Thats an
order!Allen: O.K.! O.K.! Sorry!
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5. Pauline and Robert are in a restaurantsitting in the non-smoking section when
a man at the next table lights up acigarette.
Pauline: Can you believe that? He is
totally ignoring the no-smokingsign.
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Robert: Yeah, and it smells terrible. Wereally should just tell him toputthat thingout.
Pauline: I know, but I dont think Ihave the guts to tell him.
Why dont we ask the waitress?
Robert: Good idea... Excuse me, miss.Waitress: Yes, can I get you something?
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Robert: Im sorry, but would you mindasking that man not to smoke?We can barely breathe.
Waitress: Ill see what I can do. (Walksover to the smoker) Excuse me,sir. Imawfullysorry, but Im
afraid this is a non-smokingsection. If youd like, I canmove you to another table.
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Smoker: Oh, Im sorry. I completely
forgot! Ill put it out right away.Waitress: Thank you.Pauline and Robert: Thank you!
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6. Don asks for some help from hiscolleagueFrank.
Don: Say, Frank, do you think you couldhelp me get thisprojectorset upfor the meeting this morning?
Frank: I wish I could, Don, but Ive got tofinish up this report before 9:30. Ihavent got a minute to spare.
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Don: Oh, O.K. Sorry to bother you.Frank: No problem. Maybe you could ask
Richard. I think hes free thismorning.
Don: Thats all right. I guess I can manage
it myself.
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determine[d0't"m0n] v. [T, I]
to decide; to control or influence directly
They have determined that the
conference will be held as scheduled.
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obtain[Db'ten] v. [T]
to get
I obtained a very clear result with these
experiments.
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involve[0n'vAlv] v. [T]
to make necessary; to include (someone orsomething) in something
An accurate analysis involves intensivestudy.
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command[kD'm$nd] n. [C, U]
an order
Did he give a command to tear down
the wall?
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annoyed[D'nC0d] adj.
angry
She was very annoyed with me
because I hadnt told her about it earlier.
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considerate[kDn's0dDr0t] adj.
caring about the feelings of other people
It was considerate of you to treat him
that way.
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slightly['sla0tl0] adv.
to some degree
This jacket is slightly more expensive
than the red one.
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additional[D'd0NDn9] adj.
extra; further
Will there be an extra charge for
additional passengers?
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imperative[0m'pGrDt0v] adj.
(in grammar) expressing a command
Please come over here, Henry is an
imperative sentence.
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retain[r0'ten] v. [T]
to keep
He managed to retain control of the car
on the icy road.
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sense[sGns] n. [C, U]
feeling
My brother has a good sense of
direction. He seldom gets lost.
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delete[d0'lit] v. [T, I]
to cross out
Miss Lin asked me to delete some
words from my composition.
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impatient[0m'peNDnt] adj.
annoyedpatient
He became impatient because he had
waited a long time without anyonepaying attention to him.
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irritated['0rD`tet0d] adj.
feeling annoyed and impatient
She got irritated at his impolite
behavior.
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supervisor['supQ`va0zQ] n. [C]
a person who watches over work to see thatit is done properly
Bob got a full-time job as a supervisorat that furniture factory.
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spill[sp0l] v. [T, I]
to accidentally pour liquid out of a
container
Im sorry I spilled some coffee on the
carpet.
Its no use crying overspilt milk.
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loan[lon] v. [T]
to lend
Martha, could you loan me your camera?
I need to take some pictures.
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totally['tot90] adv.
very, completely
Her opinion was totally different from
the others.
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awfully['Cf90] adv.
(informal) very
Im awfully sorry that I caused you so
much trouble.
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colleague['kAlig] n. [C]
a person whom one works with
Tom and I have been colleagues for
years. I enjoy working with him.
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spare[spGr] v. [T]
to give (time, money, or space) to someone
Can you spare me a few minutes? I
need to discuss this matter with you.
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merely['m0rl0] adv.
only; simply
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sticky['st0k0] adj.
(informal) difficult; awkward
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employee[0m'plC0-i] n. [C]
a person who works for someone or somecompany
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guts[gKts] n.
(informal) courage
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projector[prD'dIGktQ] n. [C]
a device for showing films or images on ascreen
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first of all
before anything else
First of all, lets settle on the day for themeeting.
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turn down (a radio, a TV set)
to reduce the amount of sound
Would you please turn down the radio?You might wake up the baby.
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ask a favor of (someone)
ask (someone) for help
She called to ask a favor of me lastnight.
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stop by
to make a short visit to a person or place
Ill stop by the grocery store to getsome sugar and flour.
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Here you go.
Here you are.
Sam, would you lend me yournotebook? Sure. Here you go.
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put out (a cigarette)
to make a cigarette stop burning
This is a non-smoking area. Please putout your cigarette.
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determined[d0't"m0nd] adj.
He was determined to do what hewanted to do.
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determination[d0`t"mD'neNDn] n. [U]
They carried out the plan withdetermination.
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involved[0n'vAlvd] adj.
The police believed that the four menwere all involved in the murder.
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involvement[0n'vAlvmDnt] n. [U, C]
Youd better avoid involvement in their
family affairs.
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commandv. [T, I]
The captain commanded his men to fire.
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annoy[D'nC0] v. [T]
What annoyed us was his indifferenceto our request.
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consider[kDn's0dQ] v. [T]
John is considering buying a new car.
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consideration[kDn`s0dD'reNDn] n. [U]
Did you take this factor intoconsideration when you made the
decision?
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slight[sla0t] adj.
I havent the slightest idea what he istalking about.
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add[$d] v. [T, I]
Add a little salt to the soup, please.
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addition[D'd0NDn] n. [U, C]
In addition to a microwave oven, wealso need a new stove.
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supervise['supQ`va0z] v. [T]
One of my jobs is supervising theworkers in this department.
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supervision[`supQ'v0IDn] n. [U]
Students are not allowed to operate themachines unless they are under the
supervision of a teacher.
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spilln. [C]
Theyre trying to clean up the massive
oil spill on the ocean.
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loann. [C, U]
These paintings by Monet are on loanfrom a museum in France.
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total['tot9] adj.
The total cost of the trip was onlyNT$5,000.
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awful['Cf9] adj.
The food they served at that restaurantwas awful.
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