Dealing with… Difficult People

C N H | K E Y C L U B

CNH | Created CNH AdministrationCalifornia-Nevada-Hawaii DistrictAugust 2013

Presented byVictoria Lai, Governor

Lisa Lotito-Byers, Administrator

Dealing with…Difficult People

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

• Hostile-Aggressives• Complainers• Silent & Unresponsives• Super-Agreeables• Negativists• Know-It-All Experts• Indecisives

Disruptive / Frustrating Behaviors

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

• Enables YOU and Difficult Person to move forward

• Interferes with “successful” functioning of difficult behavior

• Act with purpose to balance power

Coping Skills

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Don’t get dragged down• “Misery loves company” Be aware

and keep your guard up!

Listen• Tempting but will not stop

them

Tips

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Use a time limit for venting• 5 minute rule• Perpetual pessimist vs.

occasional vent

Don’t Agree• Tempting to appease don’t• Adds fuel to the flames

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Don’t stay silent• Silence = Agreement

Do switch extremes into facts• Negative people often

speak in extreme terms switch them to fact-based statements

• Sometimes ≠ always

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Move to problem solving• People who whine often feel

powerless & that situation is hopeless

• End their negativity… help them move into problem solving mode

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Cut them off• Hopelessly negative people need to be

cut offCAUTION• Make sure they aren’t just venting over

the limit• Make sure you weren’t encouraging

them• Make sure they can’t be switched to

problem solving• Politely shut them down

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

1. Hurting ourselves2. It’s not about you; it’s about them3. Battle of the EGO4. Anger feeds anger; negativity feeds

negativity5. Waste of energy6. Negativity spreads7. Freedom of speech

Why bother controlling our responses?

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Let’s share our

strategies!

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

More Tips…

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

1. Be calm2. Understand the person’s intention3. Get some perspective from others4. Let the person know where you are coming

from5. Build a rapport6. Treat the person with respect7. Focus on what can be actioned upon8. Ignore9. Escalate to a higher authority for resolution

9 more tips

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

1. Forgive2. Wait it out3. Does it really matter if I am right?4. Don’t respond5. Stop talking about it6. Be in their shoes7. Look for the lessons

and 15 more tips

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

8. Choose to eliminate negative people in your life

9. Become the observer10.Go for the run11.Consider the worst case scenario12.Avoid heated discussions 13.Most important14.Pour honey to counter the poison15.Express it

and 15 more tips

CNH | Training Topic: Dealing with Difficult PeopleCNH Key Club District

Go for the GOLDQuestions?

Further Questions: please contactVictoria Lai cnhkc.dg1314@gmail.com

Lisa Lotito-Byers cnhkc.admin@gmail.com