22 Muslim Views . March 2018 Life and life’s ironies

Muslim Views . March 201822

HAJJ is a wonderful journey.We are all detached from the re-

alities of our lives back homewhere the drudgery, mundaneness,routines and responsibility ofeveryday life fast forwards time tothe extent that we wake upshocked one day and ask ourselveswhat happened to all our nowlong forgotten objectives.

No, on Hajj every day seems sopurposeful. Long before the actualdays of Hajj arrive, the new rou-tine in firstly Madinah and thenMakkah fills us with a sense ofpurpose, a desire to live the rest ofour lives there, and a new sense ofcommunity.

True, those at home in SouthAfrica are missed. However, thedesire is for our beloved to join usin the Holy Land, and not for usto catch the first flight back to thecountry of our birth.

Our lives revolve around goingto the Haram five times a day forthe compulsory prayers and drink-ing Zam-zam, and a few addi-tional times with new-foundfriends for tawaaf. Meal times areagain time to cement new relation-ships. The good in us flourishes.The type of life that we can liveforever.

Ahmed* and Ayesha* were acouple who epitomised the good-ness Hajj brings out in people.Forever smiling, always courteousand constantly assisting whoeverneeded help in any way, their livesin Arabia revolved around deepconversations with fellow pilgrimsabout everything in life and howthe journey was influencing them.

They formed firm friendshipswith a number of people. Ayeshabefriended Kulsum*, whose mari-tal status had recently reverted tobeing single.

The two became inseperable.Soon, Kulsum accompanied thecouple when they performed theirtawaafs, they sat together whenthey had meals, they joked,shopped and explored the sur-rounding souks together.

The bond between the twoladies was growing stronger and

stronger. It seemed that Ayeshahad her life partner and best friendwith her on the most importantjourney of their lives.

When they performed prayersin the Haram, Aslam would bewith the males, and the two ladieswould inevitably be togethersomewhere in the ladies’ section,not far away.

Hajj drew the three of themvery close to each other. I recallour shaikh and myself comment-ing on the positive effects that Hajjhas on people. We recounted thenumber of people who had met onHajj and have been close eversince.

I, too, without fail, visit an eld-erly couple whenever I am in Jo-hannesburg. We met on our firstHajj nearly twenty years ago. Ihave attended the nikahs of cou-ples who had met on Hajj, wit-nessed the name-giving of the newlives born of these unions and at-tended funerals of fellow hujaajwhom Allah had recalled.

The circle of life sometimes ac-celerates to completion within asurprisingly short period of time.On Hajj, we all want to do thingsabsolutely correctly and within theprescribed parameters of our reli-gion.

Though we never asked them,we are sure that they often went tothe Haram during the early hoursof the morning, during Tahajjudtime, to ask their Creator for guid-ance.

Some in the group speculatedabout where the friendship washeading. ‘Aslam is going to askKulsum to marry him, just waitand see,’ someone told me.

‘It is perfectly permissible for aMuslim man to have more thanone wife,’ our shaikh reminded uswhen the topic was mentioned inone of the many informal discus-sions that hujaaj often have.

Hajj brings out the best in usmost of the time. It also brings outthe worst in people. Unfortu-

nately, there are always a handfulwho seem oblivious to the posi-tives of the journeys.

They find fault with the colourof the décor of their rooms. Theycomplain that the same 20 dessertsare served at their buffet suppersevery night, and get upset when itis pointed out to them that theyonly need to taste one or twoevery day, and not sample all ofthem.

‘We paid for it,’ they wouldgrumble.

Some would stay in their hotelsduring the prayer times instead ofbeing part of nearly a million allmaking salaah in unison in theHaram, and who derive the bene-fit of prayers blessed with more re-wards than any other mosque onthis earth.

It was Ayesha who firstbroached the subject of the mar-riage between Ahmed and Kul-sum. A discussion ensued with theshaikh.

It was the perfect formula.Two ladies who were very goodfriends, a married lady who hadno objection, and who, in fact,had requested her husband to askfor the hand of her best friend inmarriage.

Ahmed was by the financialmeans to support two wives andhe was, by now, very close to Kul-sum as well. The shaikh indicatedto them that as Ayesha had no ob-jection to the union betweenAhmed and Kulsum, and had, infact, initiated and encouraged it,that it should proceed.

I was not privy to the discus-sions but can well imagine itshumble nature. I am sure that theyhad asked Allah to guide and blessthem when they stood on Arafah.

I thought of the contrasting in-cident we had had a few weeksearlier when a wife wanted tojump from a twelfth-storey win-dow in Makkah when she learntthat her husband had remarriedwithout her knowing.

We had tried to dissuade her,and indicated that though the hus-band should have obtained herconsent or at least informed her,there was nothing we could doabout it.

Then she told us that the sec-ond wife was also in Makkah for

Hajj and this infuriated her evenmore. ‘And,’ she screamed, ‘she isstaying in a far superior hotel thanme!’

The shaikh involved was askedto perform the nikah upon theirreturn to South Africa. It was, inmany ways, going to be a com-pletely new life.

We all have descended from theslopes of Jabal Rahmah, theMount of Mercy, with the sincerehope that Allah has forgiven us allour sins and would bless all ourfuture deeds.

The shaikh ensured that Ayeshawas present when the nikah wasperformed.

It was the ideal end to anotherHajj story. But life and fate doesnot always follow the romanti-cised and sanitised script that weall wish for, living happily everafter.

The relationships changed overthe course of time. Ayesha becameunhappy for reasons that re-mained in their private domainand, after a while, she was di-vorced from Aslam, with Kulsumstill wedded to him.

Ayesha has since remarried andis living her own life.

We often reflect on how we allwant the perfect world of Hajj tolast, and that we could ideally livein Arabia forever. But we have toreturn home, a salary has to beearned and bills need to be paid.The circle of life returns to its pre-dictability, and what happens ineveryday life resumes with some ofits unforeseen conclusions.*Not their real names.For more Hajj Stories visitwww.hajjdoctor.co.za. You maycontact Dr Parker via e-mail:salimparker@yahoo.com

Life and life’s ironies

It seemed that Ayesha had her life partner and best friendwith her on the most important journey of their lives, writesDR SALIM PARKER.

Occasionally, we see men with twospouses performing tawaaf.

Photo SALIM PARKER

Couples normally find performing tawaaf together an intensely bonding experience. Photo SALIM PARKER