* Having difficult conversations Lorna Wilson 14 th November 2013 02920 768104 lwilson@acas.org.uk

* Having difficult conversations

Lorna Wilson14th November 2013

02920 768104lwilson@acas.org.uk

The 4 key elements

face the problem

understanding conflict

techniques you can use

prepare

The catastrophic fantasy

• Things will get worse

• We’ll be rejected or attacked

• We’ll hurt the other person

• The relationship will suffer

• Conceptual nature – “I don’t have the skills…”

Organisational Consequences?

• “collective cowardice”

• Reward positive v ignore negative

• No consequences for poor performers

What is conflict?

“A condition between workers whose jobs are interdependent, who feel angry, who perceive the other's, as being at fault and who act in ways that cause a business problem”

Daniel Dana: Conflict Resolution

Causes of conflict include:

• Management style• Poor management• Lack of “face to face” communication• Lack of clarity around job role/objectives• Personality clashes• Change• Harassment – real or perceived• Bullying – real or perceived• Working environment

Effects of conflict include:

• Absence • Low morale• Poor performance• Stress• Use of formal procedures• Legal action• Public arguments

Personal Conflict Styles

• Avoid

• Accommodate

• Compete

• Collaborate

Benefits of the ‘Collaborative’

style• Win/Win solution

• Better decisions

• Builds relationships

• Greater satisfaction

• Longer lasting solutions

Techniques you can use

•TEXT

body language

rapport use silence

show empathy

Prepare

think about the outcome

consider your approach

gather the documents you need

gather informationgather information

Structure the conversation

set the appropriate tone

state what the issues are

give evidence and examples

focus on the problem and not the person

ask for an explanation

agree a way forward

provide support

How Acas can help

mediation

training

e-learning

websiteacas.org.uk

publicationsCustomer services team08457 38 37 36

Acas helpline08457 47 47 47