View
215
Download
1
Category
Preview:
Citation preview
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenthood: Choices and Challenges
Chapter 12
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting
Often presents challenges for couplesImpacts couple relationshipRequires balancing work and familyRequires decisions regarding:
Parenting styles and approaches to childrearing
Number of children and spacing
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Strengths
STRENGTH Happy Couples
Unhappy Couples
Satisfied with how childrearing is shared
89% 36%
Partner focuses equally on marriage and children
63% 32%
Agree on discipline 59% 30%
Agree on how to provide financially for children
60% 38%
Children do not create problems for marriage
61% 38%
Olson & Olson, 2000Percentage of Agreement
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Top Five Parenting Issues for Married Couples
Issues Percentage with Issue
Having children reduced marital satisfaction
84 %
Father not involved enough with children
68 %
Dissatisfied with how child rearing is shared
66 %
Disagree on discipline of children 66 %
Partner focuses more on children than marriage
64 %
Olson, & Olson, 2000
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting
No educational prerequisitesIntergenerational passage of problems
commonReliance on conventional wisdom
commonOften problematic
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Conventional Beliefs or Wisdom
Rearing children is nothing but fun
Good Parents=Good Children
Children are sweet & cute
Children improve a marriage
Good parents can manage any child
All parents are adults Parents not as good
as parents of past Couples without
children are unhappy One child is too few No bad children—
only bad parents
Beliefs Often Are in Error or Misrepresent Reality of Parenting
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Conventional Beliefs or Wisdom (cont’d)
Children appreciate parents
Parenthood top priority in society
Love guarantees good parenting
Single parent families are problematic
Parenting gets easier as children age
Parenting ends when children leave
Empty nest parents are lonely
Parents alone should rear children
Beliefs Often Are in Error or Misrepresent Reality of Parenting
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Transition to Parenting
New parents often face difficulty with the arrival of children:
Less time for each otherLess time for selfFinancial challengesFatigue
Potentially impacting couple intimacy
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Financial Issues and Children
Cost of raising children high and often surprising for parents
Socialization of children to financial issues and management important:AllowanceSavings accountCommon expendituresFamily incomeUse of credit
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Estimated Annual Expenditures by Husband-Wife Families
33
10
986
14
20
Housing
Misc.
Child care/Edu
Health Care
Clothing
Transportation
Food
Annual Income $25, 400
Cost to bring up baby excluding college expenses$130, 290
Percent Spent On
Lino, 2004
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Estimated Annual Expenditures by Husband-Wife Families
34
11
117614
17
Housing
Misc.
Child care/Edu
Health Care
Clothing
Transportation
Food
Annual Income $54,100
Cost to bring up baby excluding college expenses$178, 590
Lino, 2004
Percent Spent On
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Estimated Annual Expenditures by Husband-Wife Families
37
12
126513
15
Housing
Misc.
Child care/Edu
Health Care
Clothing
Transportation
Food
Annual Income $102, 400
Cost to bring up baby excluding college expenses$261,270
Lino, 2004
Percent Spent On
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Adoption
Estimate that 4% of Americans are adopted
Open Adoption PracticesContact between adoptive and birth families
Mediated: by adoption agencyFully disclosed: direct contact between parents
Confidential Adoption PracticesNo information shared between adoptive
and birth families
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Adoptees
Face Stereotypes by OthersUnhappy, poorly adjusted, and
malfunctioningStudies suggest most adoptees do fineAdolescent adoptees may be at higher
risk for psychosocial difficulties~(van Dulmen et al., 2000)
“Adopted Child Syndrome”
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Child Free Alternative
Reported AdvantagesFewer worries or problemsFinancial benefitsGreater freedom Career flexibility
Reported DisadvantagesLack of companionship or lonelinessLack of support and care when olderMissing the experience of parenthood
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Dimensions of Parenting
Two Dimensions of Parenting Parental support
Amount of caring, closeness and affection Linear relationship with positive child outcomes
More support associated with positive outcomes
Parental control Degree of flexibility used in enforcing rules and
disciplining a child Curvilinear relationship with positive child outcomes
Too lenient or to strict associated with poor outcomes
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Styles
DemocraticAuthoritarianPermissiveRejectingUninvolved
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Democratic Parenting
Clear rules and expectationsDiscussion with childrenEmotionally mature and happy children“Energetic-friendly” child behaviorsConsistency in findings
Cohesion Dimension: Connected to Cohesive
Couple and Family Map
Flexibility Dimension: Structured to Flexible
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Authoritarian Parenting
Rigid rules and ExpectationsStrict enforcement
obedience expected and demandedDifficult for adolescentsConflicted-irritable children
Flexibility Dimension: Structured to Rigid
Cohesion Dimension: Cohesive to Enmeshed
Couple and Family Map
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Permissive Parenting
Child’s preferences dominateFew or limited rulesImpulsive-aggressive childrenRebellious, domineering and
underachievingFlexibility Dimension: Flexible to Chaotic
Cohesion Dimension: Cohesive to Enmeshed
Couple and Family Map
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Rejecting Parenting
Limited attention to childFew expectations of childChildren immature and
psychological problems
Flexibility Dimension: Structured to Rigid
Cohesion Dimension: Connected to Disengaged
Couple and Family Map
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Uninvolved Parenting
Ignore childChild’s preferences prevail as long
as don’t interfere with parentSolitary, withdrawn, and
underachieving childrenFlexibility Dimension: Flexible to Chaotic
Cohesion Dimension: Connected to Disengaged
Couple and Family Map
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Styles and Couple and Family Map
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Parenting Style and Children’s Behavior
Parenting Style Children’s Behavior
Democratic Self reliant, cheerful, achievement oriented
Authoritarian Conflicted, irritable, unhappy, unstable
Permissive Impulsive, rebellious, underachieving
Rejecting Immature, psychologically challenged
Uninvolved Solitary, withdrawn, underachieving
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Theories of Childrearing
Family SystemsBidirectional effects
Psychodynamic Importance of early childhood experiences
OrganismicFocus on cognitive development
Learning TheoryRole of positive reinforcements
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Contemporary Parenting Issues
Standards of Discipline:Changing standards of indulgence
Corporal Punishment:Declining acceptanceEmerging evidence of negative outcomesGender, educational level, geographic, age,
and ethnic variations in acceptance
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Frequency of Adolescents Being Hit By a Parent
Straus, 2001
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Relationship between Corporal Punishment Received as Teenage and Adult Depression
Strauss, 1994
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Child Care
Approximately 63% of children are in some form of regular child care
National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study:High quality day care associated with slight
language and learning enhancementDay care had less impact than family life
context
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Impact of Child Care
Factors influencing impact of child care on child’s development
Length of time in child careChildren’s stress responses as
influenced by age and genderFamily background
Greenspan, 2003; Crockenberg, 2003
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Coparenting
Cooperative arrangement between mothers and fathers
Equal responsibility in raising of children
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Coparenting Advantages
Greater satisfaction with marriageImproved relationships with childrenGreater father involvement with children
Increases emotional presence of fathersIncreased opportunities for mothers
Outside interests
Potential Disadvantage—Marital Neglect
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Contemporary Parenting
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Single Mothers By Choice
Chosen From a Position of StrengthFour Groups:
Anonymous Donor InseminationKnown Donor InseminationUnplanned PregnanciesAdoption
Strategic Development of Social Support Network
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Gay and Lesbian Parenting
Chosen by:Artificial inseminationAdoption
Impact on Children:Studies indicate no difference in
achievement and adjustmentImpact on Couple:
Koepke & Hare, 1995 found positive influences for Lesbian Couples
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Fatherhood
Images and expectations of fathers slow to change
Challenges to Father Presence:DivorceNon-marital childbearing
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Fathers as Nurturers
Fatherhood socially constructedFathers as capable as mothers in
performing nurturing tasksEngagement in father role
influenced or dependent upon:Mothers employmentSocial or cultural expectationsPersonal experience and comfort
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Responsible Fathers…
Wait to have children until they are prepared: FinanciallyEmotionally
Establish paternitySupport the mother of their childAre active in raising their child
Levine & Pitt, 1998
© 2006 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Death of a Child
Devastating Impact for Parents: Viewed by most as the worst crisis one could
experience
Recovery dependent upon: Support of each other Support of friends and relatives Support of professionals Belief in God Ability to push through the pain and move on
Recommended