Gather ‘round, boys and girls!It’s time for an exciting game of…

SPOT THE TOURIST

Tourist Couture

Comfortable, functional footwear(great for walking)

Protection from the sun and/or government spycopters (probably a thing)

Children, the hottest new accessory of the season. Be

sure to bring them anywhere and everywhere, especially if

they are crying and/or screaming and/or someone

might trip on them.

Backpack, great for carrying bottled water, snacks,

sunscreen, souvenirs, pepper spray, informational pamphlets, Chihuahuas, cool rocks, Obama,

and other necessities.

Characteristics of the Tourist• Taking pictures• Looks lost• Heavily reliant on

Google Maps• Will shamelessly ask

you where X, Y or Z monument/memorial/attraction is• May or may not be on

a Segway

IN CONTRAST:The Local

• Knows where they’re going

• Owns one of these bad boys

• This

is a cute suggestion, but is rarely acknowledged

• Appropriately dressed for the temperature and weather conditions

• (Is rarely on a Segway)

AND FINALLY:Me

• Looks lost• Is probably lost

• Does not have a smartphone, and thus is heavily reliant on a big, unfolding map, that lets everyone know I don’t know where I am

• Shamefully asks for directions• Shamelessly asks to pet everyone’s

dogs• Owns a SmartTrip card

• Often misses stops or gets on the train going the wrong way

• Jaywalks• Has almost gotten run over at least 5 times

• Two of which were by bikes• Probably cold

• I’m currently wearing a long sleeved shirt, a sweater, and I have a jacket, but currently 30% of the reason I’m writing this post is because I don’t want to face the freezing winds in the 20 ft walk between this Starbucks and my car.

• It’s like 50 degrees. So basically an Arctic winter.• The locals are calling this “fall.”• It is a full 20 degrees warmer in Atlanta right now• How am I going to survive the winter

IN CONCLUSION

I’m getting there