An Ode to a Cane Toadby Neil Dufty

ContextCane toads were brought into Australia to eradicate pest beetles. Not only were they ineffective in doing this job, they have invaded most of the northern coastal parts of the continent causing great devastation to native aquatic species…..and they’re not very pretty!

An Ode to a Cane ToadO flattened one, lying dried out on the road,Like an ancient parchment on the pavement:Testament to the much-maligned life of a toad. So why are we so haughty about one so warty?Why so pompous about one not blessed with looks?So what if you are not streamlined, just a little portly. And those scientists who named you Bufo marinus;What cruelty to infer that you are anything like a ‘Boof’!Oh, some blasphemers even call you a ‘bag of pus’.

Now if you were called ‘frog’ you wouldn’t be in a pickle;Even though slightly ugly, you’d still be in our favour;So what is in a name? How can we be so fickle?

An Ode to a Cane Toad (cont’d)And like all creatures great and small, there’s an inner life,A shining light, a Prince or hopefully Princess within;I might even pucker up for a kiss - if you were still alive.

And if you were alive, I might stroke you in my hands;But I have heard you have a potent potion portent:A little rub might activate those venomous glands. Now, with respect, you are a most successful invader,And how we have admired the invader throughout time;You are the Genghis Khan of amphibians - even Darth Vader!

An Ode to a Cane Toad (cont’d)O tortured one, focus of jest, pranks and all that kind,Target of swerving cars, alternative for golf balls; In those famous words: ‘How can people be so unkind?’

Ah, from afar, I hear a croak, no joke it is your toady mate;All is not lost: To love or to loathe? That is the question.Hey, this crap won’t stop us workin’ out its final fate!

© Neil Dufty

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