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www.keysforliving.org
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEA PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION
“What a man thinks, he becomes.”MAHATMA GANDHI
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEA PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION
“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear,
but around in awareness.”JAMES THURBER
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEA PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
THE FIVE DOMAINS OF E.I.
PERSONAL BENEFITS
GROUP BENEFITS
THE FIVE KEY SKILLS
WHAT YOU NEED
THE POWER OF NEGATIVITY
OBSERVING NEGATIVITY
TAKING ACTION
FILLING THE VOID Exploring available positivity
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEA PRACTICAL INTRODUCTION
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
Early theory developed in the 1970s and 80s by psychologists Howard Gardner (Harvard), Peter Salovey (Yale) & John Mayer (New Hampshire)
Behavioural model came to prominence with Daniel Goleman's 1995 book, 'Emotional Intelligence’
“The capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others,for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships”
“IQ an indicator of logical reasoning ability and technical intelligence. BUT Not adequate to predict executive competence and corporate success“DANIEL GOLEMAN
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
85% of financial success is due to skills of personality, communication, negotiation
15% of our success at work due to technical knowledge.(Carnegie Institute of Technology)
90% of top performers have High EI
58% of job performance is down to EI(Goleman)
“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” ALBERT EINSTEIN
INTERESTING TALKS
THE ROLE OF MINDFULESS
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Jon Kabat-Zinn
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEPERSONAL BENEFITS
Interaction & communication
Meeting hard challenges
Clarity & focus under pressure
Enhance levels of empathy
Improved body language
Aid conflict resolution
Recognising stress triggers*
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
BUT DON’T WE ALREADY HAVE MOST OF THESE SKILLS?
THE FIVE DOMAINS
Self-awareness: Our emotions & their effects on us physically, our thinking & behaviour. Our emotional strengths and limitations.
Self-Management: to better control our behaviour and reactions. We also become more flexible in challenging circumstances
Self-Motivation: the ability to get inspired, up-beat and ensure we stay there
Social awareness: Understanding the emotions, wants and needs of others. Attuned to body language and moods, be it individuals or a group
Relationship Management: Developing relationships & communications. More effective management picking up signs of potential conflicts.
GROUP BENEFITSBUSINESSES & ORGANISATIONS
An effective way to understand & assess others
Behaviours
Management styles
Attitudes
Interpersonal skills, and potential
Conflict management
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
THE FIVE KEY SKILLS
KEY SKILL 1RADILY REDUCE STRESS
Realize you’re stressed: Physical manifestations? Being aware helps regulate tension when it occurs
Identify your response: Anger, withdrawal or freeze? Know the appropriate ‘counter’ activities to suit you
Discover what works for you: Engage your senses & find out what’s soothing and/or energizing to you.
KEY SKILL 2EMOTIONAL AWARENSS
Do your feelings flow: Are you aware of subtle changes in your moods as your day unfolds?
Physical sensations: Do you sense these when your mood shifts
Discrete emotions: which are evident in changes of expressions?
Do you experience intense feelings? Strong enough to capture your attention and that of others
Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision making?
KEY SKILL 3NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Be present: Focus on the other person or your mind will wander & you may miss nonverbal cues
Maintain eye contact: Communicate interest, flow of conversation, and gauge response.
Pay attention to NV cues: facial expression, tone, posture and gestures, touch, and the pace of the conversation.
KEY SKILL 4UTILISING HUMOUR & PLAY
Handle hardship: View frustrations and disappointments from new perspectives
Smooth over differences: Helps you say things that might be difficult to express.
Simultaneously relax and energize yourself: Relieves fatigue and relaxes your body
Become more creative: You free yourself of rigid thinking
KEY SKILL 5RESOLVE CONFLICT POSITIVELY
Practice acceptance: Let go of old baggage. Look at new challenges unencumbered by issues long passed
Forgive: give up the urge to punish or seek revenge
Is it worth arguing? Consider carefully when to make a strong stand and when to yield
End conflicts that can't be resolved. You can choose to disengage even if you still disagree. It can be very lonely trying to fight on your own.
WHAT YOU NEED
Desire: No matter how much someone one else wants it for you, that will not be enough
Imagination: Can you view yourself from different perspectives to the routine?
A goal: If you do not have a target, how do you know what to aim for?
Focus: If it contributes positively it’s in. If it doesn’t……?
Honesty with ourselves
NEGATIVITYPOTENCY
Survival
Potency of the media / Government
Negativity loves company
Punches above its weight
Picking up the bag!
NEGATIVITYIDENTIFY THE SYMPTOMS
IT DOES NOT THRIVE UNDER OBSERVATION
Negative Criticism Sniping
Judgment
Labelling
The Blame Game
Picking up the bag
NEGATIVITYTAKING ACTION
Anticipate the triggers
If you stow it, you grow it
Keep Notes
The best form of defense
Identify ownership
Do not swear
Acceptance
“Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there.”Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī ‘Rumi’ (13th Century Persian poet)
POSITIVE TRUTH
Fill the void
POSITIVE TRUTH
The power of positive truth
Reduces stress
Heightens creativity
Improves general wellness
Higher performance at work
Rewarding social life
POSITIVE TRUTH
The Positive Truth list
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I?
And if not now, when?”
Hillel, Rabbi & Philosopher, 1st Century Palestine