Go Girls! Art & Science Session 1 Class 3

The Art & Science of Raising a Girl Today

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Session 1 – Notice: Tools for Listening, Sharing & Asking the Right QuestionsClass 3 – Identify & Accept Your Feelings (The Ones that Feel Good & The Ones that Don’t)| Tuesday, November 15, 2011 | 6:30-8:00pm

Agen

da fo

r Cla

ss 1 Chi Gung Practice

Moment of Silence

Artistic Voila: What’s Going On In This Picture?

Review of Last Class & Tonight’s Agenda

Presentation: Identify & Accept Your Feelings: What Is It and Why Is It Important?

Experience: Practicing Emotion Coaching

Reflection & Homework for Next Class



What’s Going In On This Picture?

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s What feelings come up?

What do you see in this picture?

What do you think is happening?



Session 1 – Notice: Tools for Listening, Sharing & Asking the Right QuestionsClass 2 – Active Listening, Active Sharing

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1. Try Out 1 New Practice from the “Playback at Home” Worksheet

2. Post an idea, link, or question on the class blog

How did it go?

Make a Play. Change the World. Framework


Identify & Accept Your Feelings“The evidence for a female advantage in empathizing comes from many different areas. For example, given a free choice of which toys to play with, more girls than boys will play with dolls, enacting social and emotional themes….if you leave out those big plastic cars that children can ride on, what you see is that more little boys play the ‘ramming’ game. They deliberately drive the vehicle into another child. The little girls ride around more carefully, avoiding the other children more often. This suggests the girls are being more sensitive to others.”

- Simon Baron-Cohen, Cambridge University, “The Essential Difference: The Male & Female Brain”

“Here's where women differ from men. If the other person is upset, or the emotions are disturbing, women's brains tend to stay with those feelings. But men's brains do something else: they sense the feelings for a moment, then tune out of the emotions and switch to other brain areas that try to solve the problem that's creating the disturbance. Thus women's complaint that men are tuned out emotionally, and men's that women are too emotional - it's a brain difference. Neither is better - both have advantages.

- Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence” and “The Brain and Emotional Intelligence”

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NOTICE• Get Quiet & Present

• Active Listening, Active Sharing

• Identify & Accept Your Feelings (The Ones that Feel Good & The Ones that Don’t)

• Say Yes to Yourself



Identify & Accept Your Feelings

“The most profound difference between girls and boys is not in any brain structure per se, but rather in the sequence of development of the various brain regions. The different regions of the brain develop in a different sequence, and different tempo, in girls compared with boys -- this is the key insight from the past five years of neuroscience research in brain development... Differences between the brains of adult women compared with adult men are small. Differences between the brains of girls compared with boys are very large!”

- Leonard Sax, psychologist, M.D., and author of “Why Gender Matters” and “Girls On the Edge”

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Identify & Accept Your Feelings

What is it?Physiologically, girls experience the world from an emotional place. It’s their super power. When feelings are dismissed, negated or denied, girls receive the message that feelings are scary and may develop a range of behaviors and tactics to avoid feeling all together. In contrast, when we celebrate the magic of girls and help them identify and express their feelings, they will be mentally stronger, physically healthier and happier to be themselves.

Why is it important? • Girls will have a roadmap to navigate the wide range of emotions they

will face throughout their lives• They will be physically healthier• They will be more focused and better learners• They will have better quality relationships throughout their lives

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“Emotion Coaching is the key to raising happy, resilient, and well-adjusted kids.”

-Christine Carter in reference to the work of John Gottmanpg. 88 of Raising Happiness

Step 1: Empathize, Label and Validate• “I see…” or “I notice…”• “I hear…”• “Are you feeling…”• “Is there anything else that you are feeling?”• “I imagine that feels…”• “Tell me about that.”• “Are you saying that…”• “It sounds to me like you feel ____, because_____. Is

that right?• “How does that make you feel?”

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A List of Challenging Emotions In kid-friendly language

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SadScaredFrustratedTiredHorribleMadLonelyNervousJealous

AshamedRejectedDepressedDisappointedHatefulEmbarassed Yucky



“Emotion Coaching is the key to raising happy, resilient, and well-adjusted kids.”

-Christine Carter in reference to the work of John Gottmanpg. 88 of Raising Happiness

Step 2: Deal with the Bad Behavior (if applicable)• “It’s okay to feel___, but it’s never okay to ___.”

Step 3: Problem-Solve“The best ideas come from the kids themselves, when they explore the problem from their own perspective and knowledge.”

• “Tell me what happened to make you feel this way.”• “What can you do to solve this problem?”• “What might happen if…”• “Let’s take a look at some different choices…”

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Technology

Go Girls! Art & Science Session 1 Class 3