Welcome back to The Devereaux Legacy. I know in my last update I said that it would be about a week or so for the next part. Over a month later, I came to the realization that I'm a total slacker. In between real life stuff, a genuine lack of wanting to play the Sims (admittedly so I could play City of Heroes/Villains..more the Villains), and reading other Legacy stories, I wasn't feeling inspired. But, eventually I got out of my funk and got to cracking on my own creation. *sigh* Then I got obsessive with the family and played forward until the fourth generation was conceived

"Ang," I told myself, "Your millions of fans are counting on you to deliver! You have to actually TYPE out the story instead of just arranging the pictures! People are depending on you! You also have mad Photoshop skillz!"

On a side note, it is rather disturbing how easily I can delude myself. But my self pep talk worked. My husband, on the other hand, is looking up phone numbers for a psychiatrist...

First things first. My old SimSelf (left) was too funky looking. Every time I looked at her, I couldn't help but think about the chick who played Jack Nicholson's wife in 'The Shining'. So, I gave her a make over. Unfortunately, the old SimSelf is a placeholder for a story that is already up on the exchange, and I'm not sure if it's the Sim or the house that hold stories. So off stage, they are both living together.

I'm rather pleased with my new makeover. However, there is so much CC on the new one that if I were to put her up for download I couldn't begin to list where I got everything. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Goodbye overly animated, weird looking SimSelf. No conversation needed. I talk to myself in real life, but apparently I can't talk to myself in the game.

My husband just informed me, out of the blue, that our HMO covers all sorts of doctor bills. Hmm..it's too bad that anti-freeze is such a garish and obvious fluorescent green color.

I last left off with my founder, Joshua Devereaux, freshly graduated from college. He's been making a stink about being a Legacy founder, and has since stopped talking to me, and will only monologue to his diary, which he named Bob. However, as I am omniscient, I can still read what his thoughts are, and he knows it.

Josh is a Cancer, 5 across the board, Knowledge/Family, with the LTW of becoming the Hand of Poseidon. He's also overly confident and he makes it a point to be the worst Knowledge Sim ever, barely rolling Knowledge or even Family wants. This is surprising, seeing as I have found that the secondary aspiration practically suppresses the primary one.

Nope, instead, he's been rolling mostly Popularity wants. And desperately on this side of finger gunning. I hate Josh.

Dear Bob: The author of this legacy has shown yet another weakness to me. It is readily apparent that she lacks any sort of landscaping skill, so she has thus leveled off my supposed beach lot, to make it easier to build the massive estate that will eventually come to pass.

Oh, this does not bode well. However, I will not tolerate this. I sincerely hope that Joshina has a large enough dowry to provide me with some stairs, as I seem to only have about $1000 left over.

It also seems that my Free Will is still turned off, and I am now being directed to go to a community lot to get married, as opposed to having a nice quiet ceremony at home.

In a most lackluster ceremony, I am now wedded to Joshina. I am gratified to find that at least she's primarily a Family Sim, however my suspicions about her being a Grilled Cheese Sim were true, at least secondarily.

On the plus side, she still looks like me, so thus that means absolutely gorgeous in all of her first facedness, or close enough to.

And so, Kelly Phillips Devereaux joins the family. Kelly is an Aquarius 4/4/4/7/6 Family/Cheese Sim with the LTW to become a Celebrity Chef.

"Josh, my name is Kelly. Not Joshina. Please stop calling me that."

Bob, apparently I have spoken too much out loud Either that or that woman has been tattling on me. Oh to have my Free Will turned back on. Curse her, curse that wretched woman. She shall rue the day! Rue I tell you!

It is too bad that Samantha Carter is kind of spoken for...

And she's a playable.

...RUE!

It appears that woman wasn't lying about Sandy Bruty being a zombie. I am somewhat mollified to know that her atrocious genetics will not be interfering with my and...my wife's genetic perfection. Everything is coming up Joshua!

Jack O'Neill (Mmmm, McGyver) is keeping a close watch on the party, making sure that no rogue Legacy Sims or SimSelves (other than me of course) appear on the community lot, thus rendering it difficult for me to shoot around them.

Literally, Jack showed up, glared at Cyd Roseland briefly, then left the lot without participating in the festivities.

Note to self: Give Cyd Roseland a makeover to cut back on the "oh crap" heart skip. Stupid Legacy Sims defining certain hair styles.

"Give into your hatred, Joshina. Join the dark side. We have hate cookies covered with the frosting of disdain! Mmmm, delicious delicious disdain frosted hate cookies," says Frog Face the Witch. I really have no frigging idea what her name is.

"No thanks. I don't have a hateful bone in my body. And my name is Kelly, not Joshina."

Bob, all I am saying is that I hope my wife doesn't put on any extra weight from too much cheese eating. Not saying I can't handle it of course, no siree Bob. I just find myself rather fortunate that I didn't drop my wife in front of all the wedding spectators, that is all. Everything is totally coming up Joshua!

This is the house that Josh built. Everyone knows and loves the obligatory pictures of the one room shacks. Fortunately, Kelly brought in enough money and stuff to give me...

TWO rooms. That's right, the bathroom has it's own door! So, NOT your typical one room shack! I'm unclear on whether or not I'm allowed to use the CC walls, but seeing as I'm from the get-go not playing for points, I'll allow it.

Oh, and one other bonus feature, I DO have stairs leading down to the beach. My landscaping isn't pretty, but at least I don't have to listen to my Sims whine about not being able to access the beach so they can build sandcastles or some such garbage.

Unfortunately, stray pets have a habit of wandering down there and then getting stuck on the stairs. Then my Sims complain because Moonshine the cat, or some other stupid animal, is blocking the path. I * heart * move_objects on.

And so it begins, Bob. The endless grilled cheese eating. Look at my wife relishing over her sandwich. It's rather disgusting. Her eyes are glazed over, the melted cheese is dripping down her chin. Obscene I tell you! OBSCENE!

"Josh, honey, do you like your sandwich?"

"Humph Er, I mean, it's great babe."

"Good, I'm glad. I can't wait until I can get better at cooking so we can actually use a stove without burning the house down. Then I can cook us some real meals."

She's a wiley one, trying to make me drop down my guard. Who am I talking about though? That woman or my wife? It appears I have another thought to ponder when I should be skilling.

Be fruitful and multiply. I suppose I can get behind that sort of logic. However, it would make more sense for me not to, if I were to destroy this legacy, or at the very least try to escape it. But the point is moot, as my Free Will is still turned off.

Well, I guess I will have to make the best of the situation. Grudgingly of course...

Aww yeah. Giggity giggity giggity. Lullaby on the first try. Who's the man?

...I mean RUE! And all that. Yeah.

Grilled cheese for breakfast? In her underwear no less?

"Have a good day at work honey. I'm just finishing up the last of the grilled cheese batch so we can have something else for dinner tonight. The baby won't be healthy if I only ate grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Sounds good. I'll see you when I get home. Later babe."

Everything is coming up Joshua!

I briefly considered adopting this stray cat to start a Breed Legacy, but that thought went out the window when the cat walked off the lot two or three relationship points shy of adoption, never to return.

Kelly for the next few days mostly rolled wants for this cat (the name escapes me, I know it's not Moonshine). And we watch her Aspiration slip down.

With the last bit of cash, I bought the family a flower making bench. I only hope that I have enough patience to have her actually earn a gold talent badge. So, on top of attempting to reach the top of her career, I'm running a flower making sweat shop.

The funny thing is, it's Kelly who occasionally rolls the want to earn the badges. Does Mr. Knowledge Sim? Once. He rolled the want once, which went away when the "See a Wolf" want was satisfied. Not that I really wanted him to earn the badge, but still, it's the principle of the matter.

And, as with most beginning Legacy households, it's mainly skilling, working, energizing, and meditating.

In other words, it was a lot of this...

And this...

And unfortunately this.

On the plus side, Josh has finally decided to act like a real and for true Knowledge Sim by actually rolling skill point wants. That's why he gets to wear the Thinking Cap almost constantly. I suppose for him, indeed, everything is coming up Joshua.

Kelly, on the other hand, is holding out for the Have a Baby aspiration boost.

Which is coming true for her right here.

I happen to know for a fact that it's not twins. Not only because I played waaaayy forward from this point, but also because I have the Sim Blender and another unnamed Banned for Life if Mentioned hack that tells me how many babies she's carrying. Not that I would change the number, but at least I can be prepared ahead of time.

And now, hooray! Kelly is Gold. Not Platinum, she was dipping into the red, but at least she can use the energizer without harm.

And now we have a sweet little family picture welcoming the new baby girl, Ansley. Due to the fact that both parents look similar, I'm certain that Ansley will look the same with her blonde hair and blue eyes.

It's kind of like Flowers in the Attic. You know, without the incest and imprisoning children in a bedroom connected to an attic. So...maybe not so much like it.

Dear Bob: After giving Ansley a stern lecture for soiling her diaper, I came to the best conclusion ever...

...changing stinky diapers will be my wife's job. With a little persuasion, appealing to her Family Sim side, she agreed. Naturally, this means that everything is coming up, of course, Joshua. Now with less baby stink!

I felt really bad about this. I could lie and say that her Aspiration slipped into the green while she was energizing, but that's not true. If you notice in the background, Josh is meditating, freshly off the energizer. I was planning on running them both through, and Josh was at least gold, and for some reason I assumed that Kelly was, too.

So what I'm saying is, I didn't even look at Kelly's aspiration color when I directed her into the energizer. I'm a bad SimDeity

I felt even worse when I saw the look on her face when I made her get into the car and go to work despite the fact that she was all in the red.

And now, she's just laying on the guilt trip, milking it for all it's worth.

I wonder how many pieces of flair she's required to have? Is she wearing at least the minimum of 15?

Dear Bob: Today is my daughter's birthday. I am sincerely hoping that Ansley will be a mean and evil Sim who will help me make that woman's life miserable. I can hardly wait!

Bob, I can't help but be disappointed. Yes, she is the picture of genetic perfection (if you ever had any doubt) but her personality has something lacking, that special mean touch.

Will I ever make that woman rue the day she decided to make me start a stupid, poor legacy family? More importantly, will things ever come up Joshua again?

Ansley is adorable. She's a Sag 8/2/10/10/5 who will never be able to meditate due to the high playful points.

Well, it seems Bob, that I have another chance at producing a mean and difficult child. Oh, and lullaby on the first try, again. You need not answer the rhetorical question of 'Who's the man,' because I already know. That's right, me.

This is the house that Josh built, revisited It has two bedrooms and a full bathroom with a bathtub. I'm sincerely hoping that the next baby is a girl, as I don't have the money to do any more rebuilding, and brothers and sisters shouldn't share bedrooms. It's just a weird thing I have. I'll spare you the inside shots. I'm giving like that.

I would like to say that my toddlers are very self sufficient, but it's a hack that I have that allows toddlers to get out of cribs themselves. Ansley can't even walk, and I don't think she ever learned. Neither parent was gold enough to make her Smart Milk, so I think, THINK, she was potty trained and she could talk. I THINK.

Never the less, I think it's adorable. And convenient!

Ansley transitioned from toddler to child without her parents even watching. Ansley is full of win.

I have given up on birthday parties. For some reason, I can never make them Roof Raisers, no matter what kind of fun activities I have. It also irks me that when I set out the buffet table, nobody eats from it. Instead they all just raid the fridge and take snacks. /sigh So, it's just hitting the Grow Up option and move on from there.

Ansley, I have made an executive decision right here and now. I have decided that first born children will inherit. No fuss, no muss, no polls. How does that sound?

"I think mommy needs you to pay attention to her."

Oops. So, yeah. Kelly gave birth to my automatic spare, Savannah. Once again, I kind of feel bad, as I don't have any pictures of Kelly's pregnancy. But really, when you've seen one, you've seen them all, right?

"So, what were you saying to me before my little sister was born?"

Ah, yes. Ansley my girl, you are to be my heir. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, such as you rolling an appalling Aspiration like Romance, of course.

"Aww, but I like boys!"

What?!

"But I like toys too. I want a pony and a bracelet and a car and pretty pictures and a pony and a dream house and a tiara and a bubble blower and a necklace and a pony. Did I mention I wanted a pony?"

I believe it was mentioned, yes.

So Ansley, have you decided what you like more?

"What do I get if I tell you?"

A pony.

"Really?"

No.

"I want pretty clothes and a prince. I want Prince Charming and Prince Caspian and Aladdin and The Beast after he becomes a prince."

How about maybe just one prince?

"Maybe. Daddy told me to be difficult, in case you couldn't tell."

Ah, that would explain it.

So Ansley, which do you like more? Pretty clothes or lots of princes?

"You already know. That's why there are so many more pictures of me than of Savannah. But, I will show you that I can juggle. See? I can like both. Buuuuttt...toys. I like toys more than boys."

Smarmy, I'll give you that. But a relief nonetheless.

I always find this obnoxious; You have a kid's queue all lined up and then they drop the entire thing to run out and greet their parent.

Aww, but it's sweet. Ansley is totally a mommy's girl. I get the feeling that no matter what her daddy tells her, she's going to be compliant and patient like her mom.

Soon Bob, soon. Soon I will find out if Savannah will be difficult and mean...

She's a spare, so it doesn't matter. She can be a Romance Sim (as detestable as they are) for all I care.

...RUE!!!!

Once again, I am thwarted. While Savannah is a testament to my and my wife's good genes, she lacks that distinct mean spark. How very...disappointing.

Savannah is a Taurus who did not suffer from the clone bug with 10/7/5/7/5. She might be a finger gunner. I'm not sure at what number that happens /shrug I couldn't help but laugh at Josh's face here, though. He actually DOES look disappointed.

"My toy. This is mine Savannah. You can't have it. All the toys are mine. Only I can appreciate nice things like toys."

No, she did not do this autonomously, I just figured this is what a Fortune Sim would do when they are kids, no matter how nice or mean they might be. And yes, I already rolled Ansley and Savannah's Aspirations.

This is just a picture of how cute the Peek-a-Boo interaction is. I watch the Sims for hours doing this. Every time the toddler giggles, I grin like an idiot and laugh myself.

Savannah is a Daddy's girl to Ansley's Mommy's girl. Even Josh is appreciative, for once.

Well Bob, it appears that I will have to take matters into my own hands...

* cancel interaction * I just realized that I don't have the room for an alien baby.

CURSES!

Today Bob, everything will forever be Joshua. I reached the top of my career. I am now considered a minor God, the Hand of Poseidon.

My wife, on the other hand, is not as fortunate as I am. However, though I am disappointed at her lack of tenacity, I am very excited to point out that that woman forgot to put the walls up for this picture. I knew that as long as I persevered and became a minor deity that things would look up for me. Mwahhahahahahahaha. Hmm..writing that down does not look right. It feels more appropriate to actually laugh that out loud.

You see Bob, it's all about standards. Do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible...Death Whinny? Oh yes Bob, Dr. Horrible is a personal favorite of mine.

I was totally not appreciative of this little incident, however. If I didn't know better, I would say that woman had something to do with this.

And, again, without any sort of fanfare, Savannah grew up to childhood.

"Makeup please."

Absolutely not! Little children shouldn't wear that crap on their face.

"Aww. But I want the boys to think I'm cute. I am cute, right?"

Adorable, yes. But no makeup until you're a teenager. Putting makeup on children is disgusting.

"Boys!" says Savannah."Toys!" Ansley argues back."Boys!""Toys!"

And so on and so forth.

And now that both kids are school age, I decided to call the headmaster to get them both into private school. This is the only shot I have, as it was down to the very last 10 seconds on the timer before I scored 91/90 points.

I could threaten him, but I think he knows that I don't have the means to kill him without cheating at the moment.

And here's Ansley as a teenager. I spare everyone of shots of Sims growing into terrible clothes, because once again, I am giving like that.

In case you hadn't picked up on it, Ansley is a Fortune/Romance Sim with the LTW of becoming Chief of Staff. I like LTW's that are job related. I also have the hack that gives you the LTW's that are generated based off of personality as opposed to actual Aspiration. It makes it far more interesting.

Oh, and I accept Romance as a Secondary, because then I can just read it as a Fortune Sim who has a heart, as opposed to a Romance Sim who has no soul and dies a little inside each time they WooHoo with a different Sim. I hate Romance Sims. I guess I truly am leaning towards the "Squeaky Clean" type of Legacy, with the no Pre-marital or extra-marital WooHoo, and only Try For Baby for my heirs.

Again, if I were playing for real points, I would have taken that handicap, as that is generally how I play the game anyway, even in my "for fun" neighborhood.

And so goes the grind for scholarships.

And here is why Ansley is once again, made of win. See how happy she looks? She's awesome and she knows it. She takes after her father in that respect. However, she will actually talk to me, right Ansley?

"Yay! Another Scholarship, I'm Platinum!"

Finally Kelly has done something useful. When I play my regular, "for fun" neighborhood, I never use them. However, since reading other legacies, I have come to realize just how useful Snapdragons are. Time consuming to build up to the gold badge, but totally worth it in the end.

I have made other Legacy families before OFB came out, and let me tell you, if Snapdragons would have been available back then, I would have actually played, for points, to the end instead of quitting at about the sixth generation.

Okay girly girl, I need you to make about 50 more.

"But I'm tired!"

I don't care! * whip crack *

Savannah had been rolling the want to adopt a puppy for quite some time. For the record, I detest Sim pets. But, her aspiration is getting close to the red zone, so I allowed it.

"Yay! I get to keep him?"

Apparently not. The animal, I think I named him Bandit, peed on the floor first thing. Then, when I directed someone to clean the puddle, the Sim got stuck on a random piece of furniture and complained about the wall blocking their way.

The dog got put back up for adoption maybe two Sim hours after arriving at the house. This was one of the only shots I have of him. I felt kind of bad, but Savannah's aspiration didn't drop. Don't get me wrong, I like animals and I have two cats of my own in real life. However, I find that they are less demanding and easier to shoo away than Sim animals are.

There is nothing story like about this picture. This is more of a question of how a water pond can catch on fire.

And Kelly's aspiration dips even further.

I am so totally not understanding why she is having such problems with her job. I took out the Harder Jobs hack, I know I did. I mean, I suppose it's my fault, as I make it a point to actually choose on a chance card, but really? Another demotion? She'll never be Perma-plat before elder at this rate.

And yet, I feel bad once again for Kelly. She's been striking me as so very patient with this entire Legacy endeavor, and this is the thanks she gets.

GAHHH!

REALLY?! Frickin' REALLY?!

I suppose I should be thankful. Josh has been going to the telescope every night for the Logic points (no room for a chess board). I don't have the room for an alien baby, so I'm sorry girly girl, but at least it's you. I'll try really, really hard to get your wants fulfilled before you turn into an elder.

Okay, I know I said that I will spare you the horrible pictures of what clothes Sims grow into, but for some reason what Savannah grew into seemed rather appropriate for a Romance Sim.

"Daddy? Can I please wear clothes like this forever?"

"Sure honey, whatever it takes to irritate that woman"

*sigh* So Savannah is a Romance/Fortune Sim with the LTW of becoming a Prestidigitator. I guess I don't hate her nearly as much as I should then, because of her splendid "not dying a little inside" LTW. It also appears that the debate of "Toys before Boys" and "Boys before Toys" will continue between the sisters.

I can't decide what to make of Ansley's facial expression. I mean, it's weird to see her scoping out her sister like this, as the direction of her eyes will lead me to believe. I would prefer to think that Ansley is wondering if her sister is cold in her getup.

If you can't tell, Ansley is far more conservative than her sister with five outgoing points separating them.

"Won't you please hug me?"

"Yeah, please don't touch me. I don't like being touched. You might ruin the perfect set of my hair."

"But, you're supposed to be part Romance Sim yourself!""It's a lie to keep daddy happy. I have yet to roll a Romance want."

This is very true. She doesn't even have the Fist Kiss want. Honestly, it's all about skilling and scholarships for Ansley.

"Lots of Scholarships means lots of money for college. More money means more toys."

Are you still holding out for a pony?

"...Kinda, yeah. But, maybe I can settle for a Prince Charming."

I love Ansley!

Naturally, I am going to oblige my heiress. So, I sent her downtown to cruise for potential mates. I'm fan of Goopy GilsCarbo, but he was nowhere to be found, Benjamin Long is married already, and I couldn't find Kennedy Cox either. I like tradition. I also want to mix up the genetics a bit. Not too much, nothing very ugly, but something a bit different to make my future Sims distinctive

So I find this guy. Yes, he's an adult, but Ansley is about to go to college, so I can build up the friendship prior to that to make proposing easier and faster when she's at SSU (Sim State University).

Not a fan of the alien lips, but not too bad looking. His name is Hunter Almassizadeh. Okay, what kind of name is that? I write all facts and stats down on a list for my Sims to keep track of things. Devereaux, Lewis, London, Sell. All very easy names to write down. So you know when you write down a word that you aren't sure of the spelling, how the letters are more spread out than the rest? That's what this guy's name looks like on the list...like a freaking five year old wrote it. It doesn't matter, as his name will change to Ansley's last one anyway.

And, as I played forward, I already know his stats. He's a Leo 4/10/4/4/3 Popularity/Knowledge Sim. I'm liking the mix up on his stats as well. Oh, and his LTW is to be a Captain Hero.

So Ansley, here is your Prince Charming.

"Eeeww. No Mr. T chains!"

I'm with you on that kiddo.

Back at home, Josh gets one of his wants fulfilled to be abducted by aliens.

Am I upset? Nope. He's too close to elder to get pregnant. Ahahahahahahaha!

"RUUUUUUuuuuuue!"

You know, I didn't think that nice Sims laughed when another Sim was abducted. Kelly and Ansley have six and five nice points respectively, so I suppose they aren't creepy smile nice...but still, I always thought this was something that mean Sims did.

The look on Josh's face says it all.

*It's the look that every LARPer has expressed after going on a Let's Go Play with Liches mod.

*It's the look that every MMORPG gamer has expressed when their raid wipes terribly.

*It's the look that every D&D player has expressed when Bob the Pyro Fireballs the party, killing everyone (by accident, he insists).

It's the look that says: "There's always time for lube."

And now, I have the same look on my face when I heard the lullaby sound. CRAP! I thought he was too close to elder to get pregnant! I have no room! Savannah needs more Scholarships!

Lesson learned. Less than five days before elder. Not five or more.

"Mwahahahahahabluurp."

Indeed Bob, I am in complete triumph over that woman. I am gestating what will surely be an evil alien spawn. Soon my precious...soon.

"Mwahahaha. Bwahahahahaha. Ouch, the baby kicked me."

In complete triumph over me, Josh glibly goes about skilling some more. I bloody hate him. Every time I hover over him, he turns up to look at me and smiles. No, it's not even a smile...more of a smirk. * shakes fist *

"Um, hey. Peasant007?"

?!

You're actually addressing me?

"I'm rather distressed, so currently I am not in my right frame of mind. You see, apparently I didn't think this all of the way through. Where...ummm...exactly is the baby going to come out?"

Ahahahaha. Just think of blue skies and waterfalls Josh. Ahahahahahaha!

"RUE! OOOOOOoooooooo! Oh my Bob! This is TERRIBLE!"

And with that, wherever the baby comes from male Sims, Aylee was born

"Honey? Aren't alien babies supposed to be...more green?"

"Apparently there's a default skin replacement babe."

"Ah. Well, hooray for the new baby. She...looks like...well, not you."

"Yes, while she is not of our genetic perfection, at least she has a nose. Thank Bob for small favors."

Seeing as there is no more room in the two bedroom house, the older girls are having to pack up and go to college.

On the plus side, at least I have a future placeholder for the Greek House so Savannah can age properly with her sister

Still a Daddy's girl, Savannah at least gives her father a hug before moving to SSU.

"Hush evil baby don't say a word. Daddy's going to buy you a mockingbird. And if that mocking bird don't sing...well, daddy will make sure that we get rid of the thing."

You really need to work on your evil training skills there Josh. Aylee seems unimpressed.

Dear Bob: That woman is under the illusion that because I spoke directly to her in a moment of weakness, that I will continue to do so. However, note to self, I must work on my evil training skills. Not because it was suggested! Bob no! But because I want to.

It appears Bob me and my wife are transitioning to elder hood I can only hope that I will not become incontinent, as that would be very embarrassing and that woman will have many laughs at my expense.

Oh, yes. Yes I will.

And this is more of a picture of what the heck. Why is his ring an engagement ring? I looked at Kelly's as well, and hers is too. I checked both of their relationships, and they are married. The only conclusion I can come up with is that they were married on a community lot, not at home. Blah!

"You promised I would be at least gold when I aged! I'm GREEN!"

God, I feel bad. She still wasn't Perma plat, and now with the sad "I want to die" look. I'm sorry Kelly, really girly girl, I am. She is still at least two promotions away from reaching the top of her career, so waiting an extra day wouldn't have done it, and she really was never close to gold enough to use the Elixir.

And so Bob, here ends this chapter. As you can see my shirt is glitching into my pants due to the mix of Elder and Adult clothes. That woman didn't notice until after this picture was taken. And so, I must conclude this portion of my journal with these rousing questions:

Will the girls do well in college? Will Savannah show her true colors (Bob, I hope so)? Will Aylee grow up to be an evil alien spawn? And most importantly, will my hair look alright after I take this Thinking Cap off, or will it forever be ruined because it's sticking through? Oh Bob, so many questions to contemplate, so little time.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

~Josh

***

"Who actually wears facial hair like this?" says Julien Cooke, placeholder for this chapter.

He's actually not too bad looking, you know, when you get rid of the entire "Devil vs. Daniel Webster" motif, starring the Devil AS Daniel Webster.

Mmmm..forbidden doughnut..

Anyway, legends about ancestors aside, thanks so much for reading! For real, I have four more chapters already shot and arranged, so updates will be more forthcoming. As long as I don't get distracted by something shiny that is. I am a total slacker who has severe problems writing out my ideas with any sort of consistency.