When “I Do”

becomes “I Don’t”

What happens

when “I Do”

becomes “I Don’t”?

When “When “I DoI Do”” becomes becomes ““I Don’tI Don’t””

1.1. What does the What does the

Bible say about Bible say about

Divorce?Divorce?

2.2. What to do in a What to do in a

struggling struggling

marriage?marriage?

Marriage is intended Marriage is intended

to be lifelongto be lifelong

Matthew 19:6Matthew 19:6

“So they are no longer “So they are no longer

two, but one flesh. two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God Therefore what God

has joined together, has joined together,

let no one separate.”let no one separate.”

1.1. AAbsolutely Not ??bsolutely Not ??

Absolutely Not ??Absolutely Not ??

Mark 10:11-12

(see also Luke 16:18)

“He answered, “Anyone who

divorces his wife and marries

another woman commits

adultery against her. And if

she divorces her husband

and marries another man,

she commits adultery.”

Philippines

Vatican City

1.1. AAbsolutely Not ??bsolutely Not ??

2.2. AAdulterydultery

AdulteryAdultery

Matthew

19:3-9

Matthew 19:3Matthew 19:3--99

v.3v.3 -- Pharisee wanted to test Jesus: Pharisee wanted to test Jesus: “Can a “Can a man divorce his wife for any reasonman divorce his wife for any reason”?”?

Deuteronomy 24:1 (KJV) “When a man hath taken

a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that

she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath

found some uncleanness in her: then let him

write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her

hand, and send her out of his house.”

Rabbi Hillel – burning the food, nagging …

“no favour”?

Rabbi Shammai – unfaithful / adultery …

Rabbi Akiba – found a prettier woman …

“uncleanness”?

Matthew 19:3Matthew 19:3--99

v.3:v.3: Pharisee wanted to test Jesus: Pharisee wanted to test Jesus: “Can a man “Can a man

divorce his wife for any reasondivorce his wife for any reason”?”?

vv.4vv.4--6:6: Jesus reminded that Jesus reminded that marriage is marriage is

lifelonglifelong..

v.7:v.7: Pharisees asked why Moses Pharisees asked why Moses commandedcommanded

a man to give his wife certificate of divorce.a man to give his wife certificate of divorce.

v.8:v.8: Jesus said divorce is Jesus said divorce is permitted (notpermitted (not

commanded) commanded) because because hearts were hardhearts were hard..

v.9v.9: Divorce is allowed if a spouse commits : Divorce is allowed if a spouse commits

sexual immoralitysexual immorality..

AdulteryAdultery

Matthew 19:9

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his

wife, except for sexual immorality, and

marries another woman commits

adultery.”

“porneia”

Dear Abby;Dear Abby;

I am in love and I am having an affair with two different women other than my wife. I love my wife but I love these other women too. Please tell me what to do, but don’t give me any that morality stuff. Signed: Too much love for only one.

Dear Too much love for only Dear Too much love for only one;one;

The only difference between humans and animals is morality. Please write to a veterinarian. Signed: Abby.

1.1. AAbsolutely Not ??bsolutely Not ??

2.2. AAdulterydultery

3.3. AAbandonmentbandonment

AbandonmentAbandonment

1 Corinthians 7:12-15

12 …. If any brother has a wife who is not a

believer and she is willing to live with him, he must

not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband

who is not a believer and he is willing to live with

her, she must not divorce him. …15 But if the

unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the

sister is not bound in such circumstances; God

has called us to live in peace.

1 Corinthians 7:121 Corinthians 7:12--1515

Paul was repeating the teaching of Jesus Paul was repeating the teaching of Jesus -- husbands and wives not to separate.husbands and wives not to separate.

Paul addressed a different situationPaul addressed a different situation -- mixed mixed marriages.marriages.

vv.12vv.12--13: 13: Paul affirms that Christians Paul affirms that Christians should not initiate a divorce just because should not initiate a divorce just because the spouse is not a believer.the spouse is not a believer.

v.15:v.15: But if unbelieving spouse abandons But if unbelieving spouse abandons the spouse, the innocent spouse is not the spouse, the innocent spouse is not bound by the marriage.bound by the marriage.

1.1. AAbsolutely Not ??bsolutely Not ??

2.2. AAdulterydultery

3.3. AAbandonmentbandonment

4.4. AAbuse ??buse ??

Abuse ??Abuse ??

1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way

be considerate as you live with your

wives, and treat them with respect as the

weaker partner….”

Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your

wives and do not be harsh with them.”

Abuse ??Abuse ??

1 Corinthians 7:15

“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so.

The brother or the sister is not bound in

such circumstances.”

Extension of 1 Corinthians 7:15 ??

AAdulterydultery

AAbandonmentbandonment

AAbusebuse

What to do in a What to do in a

struggling marriage?struggling marriage?

Be Christlike

Marriage is to be an

ongoing demonstration

of the sacrificial love

that Christ showed His

church

(Ephesians 5:21-33)

“What if God

designed

marriage to make

us holy more

than to make us

happy?”

“If the purpose of marriage were merely happiness

and romance, I’d have to find someone new about

every two years (and some do!). But if holiness is

God’s focus, then living with a difficult spouse is an

opportunity for me to grow in Christlikeness, for me

to be transformed.

If I focus on changing myself rather

than trying to change my spouse, I

find I must depend on God and in

that process I will find deep

fulfillment.”

What to do in a What to do in a

struggling marriage?struggling marriage?

Be Christlike

Be Prayerful

Colossians 4:2

“Devote yourselves

to prayer, being

watchful and

thankful.”

(Amplified Bible)

“Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in

your prayer life, being both alert and intent in

your praying with thanksgiving.”

What to do in a What to do in a

struggling marriage?struggling marriage?

Be Christlike

Be Prayerful

Be Resolute

“Love at first sight,“Love at first sight,

Leave at first fight”Leave at first fight”

MiGMiG--2929

Jet FighterJet Fighter

What to do in a What to do in a

struggling marriage?struggling marriage?

Be Christlike

Be Prayerful

Be Resolute

ArchbishopArchbishop

RobertRobert

RuncieRuncie

"Here is the stuff of which fairy tales

are made, the prince and princess on

their wedding day. But fairy tales

usually end at this point with the

simple phrase, 'They lived happily ever

after.' This may be because fairy tales

regard marriage as an anticlimax after

the romance of courtship. This is not

the Christian view. Our faith sees the

wedding day not as a place of arrival

but the place where the adventure

begins."

Psalm 147:3Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted “He heals the brokenhearted

and binds up their wounds.”and binds up their wounds.”

300 sextillion stars300 sextillion stars

300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000300,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

… verse 4… verse 4 “He determines the number of “He determines the number of

the starsthe stars and calls them each by name.”and calls them each by name.”