Parenting for

FATHERSBy

Brian Birdow

Sermon text: Ephesians 6

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Ephesians 6:4• And, you fathers, provoke not your children to

wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

• Fathers are the head of the household!

• Our commands should be easy for the child to obey!

• We should not ask anything of them we are not willing to do first ourselves!

The “offensive” controlling fatherSomeone who manipulates his environment

to make others do what he wants them to do.

An extreme authoritarian father!

His child often remembers that work comes first!

All he remembers about his father is his serious side! Not the relaxed and playful

A controller reasons as:It’s my way or the no way at all

I’m the final authority here, and I have the final word. PERIOD!

I like to make things happen and to have them go my way!

Everything is set, so DON’T surprise me. I call the shots. . .I am the boss!

A controller reasons as:Life is serious and planned out. Don’t rock the boat.

Your life has already been predetermined to continue the family business!

My opinion is informed and accurate. I’m older, wiser, and smarter!. . . Conclusion I’ll talk you listen!

Please ref. Last week sermon Learning to Listen

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The effects of a excessive controller

• When the commands of a parent are unreasonable and severe. The spirit of a child then becomes irritated, and he is "discouraged,

• Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The effects of a excessive controller!

• You elect to rebel!

• You go to the opposite extreme with your children and don’t set any boundaries!

• More often, however, compliant children become pleasers and are reluctant to take control of their own lives.

The effects of a excessive controller!

When they grow up the still wrestle with:

1. I don’t feel like I measure up to what is expected of me!

2. I struggle with passive-aggressive kind of anger. On the surface I appear controlled but under the hood I’m angry

3. I put others before myself in an unhealthy way and refuse to express my true feelings!

BUT BRING THEM UP!

• Place them under such discipline and instruction that they shall become acquainted with the Lord.

• Few parents would deliberately deny their children food, clothing, shelter, and LOVE!

• But many parents deliberately deny their children a chance to know GOD and HIS LOVE!

Our #1 responsibility

To help his children establish a personal relationship with the GODHEAD!

2 Timothy 3:15 And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

A SurveyFather and Mother take children to church 76%

of the children followed their parents in their faith.

Father only takes children percentage drops to 55%

Mother takes children drops to 15%

If neither take children drops to 9%

Admonition

I. literally, a putting in mind; then warning, admonition, instruction. The sense here is, that they were to put them in mind of the Lord--of his existence, perfections, law, and claims on their hearts and lives. This command is positive, and is in accordance with all the requirements of the Bible on the subject.

II. No one can doubt that the Bible enjoins on parents the duty of endeavouring to train up their children in the ways of religion, and of making it the grand purpose of this life to prepare them for heaven.

Admonition

Proverbs 2:1 My son, if you will receive my words, and lay up my commandments with you;

Proverbs 2:2 So that you incline your ear unto wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding;

Admonition

Proverbs 2:3 Yea, if you cry after knowledge, and lift up your voice for understanding;

Proverbs 2:4 If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hid treasures;

Proverbs 2:5 Then shall you understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.