Christ Central: LISTEN!

By Bryan Holt

Being raised as a Christian, there were always moments where I was touched by the Holy Spirit as realized it was God at work in me. Being pushed to do great things, to serve, to be a steward for his creation. However, out of high school, and my protected, controlled environment, I started to make mistakes. I drew away from God; from communion with him. Recently I hit rock bottom. I ruined my relationship with the person I love, I ruined my position at my work, and I had no goal, no destination I wanted to reach. I was lost.

I was truly lost into sin, temptation, I was not listening. I was not with God anymore, I had accepted him in the past, but I had blocked Him out to satisfy my personal desires. For nearly 3 years I did things on my own. There were times he drew me back to him, only to have me once again turn my back on him and fall back into my own sinful habits. It wasn’t drugs, alcohol, it was worse. I was hanging with the wrong crowd, ignoring all my teachings during my private Christian schooling, and I was not in communion with Christ our savior. I wasn’t going to church regularly, and I wasn’t praying or going to him for advice and guidance. I was ignorant; my own mom would point it out.

Thankfully our God does not give up; his grace goes beyond all bounds. Despite the fact I was not listening, he began to work in me. It took a while, it wasn’t overnight. I didn’t close my eyes one evening, and wake up 8 hours later completely changed, completely washed away. First I grew miserable in the relationship I was in. My girlfriend at the time had converted over to Christianity but we still did not practice regularly. I couldn’t explain it, I just began becoming miserable. God brought another girl into my life who I befriended and we became really close. She guided me, gave me advice from her experiences as they were completely identical to what I was going through. I decided myself to break up with my girlfriend at the time. However, I still was not listening.

Shortly thereafter, I rushed into a relationship with the girl whom I had befriended. We really liked each other and we drew very close together, very quickly. Despite her telling me to take time first, I ignored it. I said that I was better than that and that this would work if God wanted it to work. It didn’t, a month into the relationship she grew miserable. I promised to never hurt her and shortly after that I hurt her. I loved her, yet I still managed to push her away. I was losing the love of my life. During this time I had also been forced to step down at my position at work, a position I held with much prestige. Slowly I grew miserable once again. I missed her, I missed my old life, and I missed everything. I was thirsty.

One night, after work, I jumped into my car and started the engine. I drove, switched the radio to the Fish, a local Christian station that plays nothing but worship and positive Christian music. I started to pray. This wasn’t any ordinary, “Dear God” prayer. This was an in depth, drawn out communion with Him. I had never felt this before. Instantly my fears, worries, my ignorance was lifted. Not entirely of course, we aren’t perfect or away from temptation in this world. But at that moment, I was disconnected from the world, I was listening. I was swept away, crying. There I was, a full grown man crying while driving, but not caring what others would think because this is where I wanted to be, with Him. I knew that at that instant God was still there, how great is our God that he could take me and give me a new goal a new path. I let him take control. As I write this the pain in my life hasn’t been taken away, but I have a way, I have let God take the wheel. As Christians all we have to do is listen and God will answer. He isn’t

just going to pop out of the clouds and fix everything. It takes time. The next day I still managed to ignore His chances to preserve my relationship with my girlfriend. However, this time after making this mistake I was able to realize immediately what I had done. God can do it all for us, but He won’t. That would be too easy, and what would be the point if we would just fall away right afterwards. He isn’t just going to take away the pain the hurt, so that we can turn around the next day and do it all over again. The only way to break that cycle is to let us break down and give us a helping hand to get ourselves back on the feet.

As I write this, it is still not over. I still hurt and miss the girl I truly love. I made a big mistake that destroyed the trust she had in me. I pushed her away after promising I would never hurt her, because I did not listen to the signs. That day, I was given the option of what time I would go on lunch. When the time came, my lunch was late but I did everything I could possibly do to take my lunch at the time in hopes I would get to see her. Which I did eventually see her, she was with another guy talking while eating lunch. I could have ignored her and let her go back to work but I didn’t. When she got up to leave she was on her way out when I called her name. She didn’t hear me, so I called again. This time she heard me and came over, and I made the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. God put so many obstacles down to prevent this from happening, but I once again ignored the signs and was not listening to him.

This reminds me of a popular story that has been told to me many times through my child hood. I heard this from a pastor while in chapel at school. I also heard this in many videos and educational lectures. There are many versions of this story due to various writers, like myself, who add different flavor and tones to the story, and it is called Parable of the Flood.

One day, in a small town, there was a massive flood due to a raging storm. A man, a professed Christian, grabbed his bible, and climbed to the roof of his home to avoid the rising flood waters. As the waters continued to rise engulfing his home, just his roof remained with him standing on it. Scared, fearing the imminent death looming in the rising flood waters, the man cried out asking God to save him. Shortly after his prayer, a police officer in a boat rode by and stopped and asked the man, “Sir, need a lift?”

The man reluctant to join the officer because he was scared that the rising flood waters would be too much for a small boat to handle replied, “No, don’t worry about me, God will save me.”

The officer rode away dismayed before a hovercraft came by. On the hovercraft was a good Samaritan. The good Samaritan shouted over, “Need a lift?”

The man, noticing this man wasn’t a rescuer and probably not trained in swift water rescue, replied, “No thank you, God will come just you wait and see. He will send me an angel to watch over me.”

Baffled, the guy on the hovercraft drove away after seeing he would not be able to change the man’s mind. A few hours passed and the waters had risen to the very tip of the man’s roof. He was on his toes. At this point fear started to step in. He called out to the Lord once more for salvation. A military helicopter arrived above his house. Through the loudspeaker the man heard, “Sir relax we are coming for you.” This time his rescuer wasn’t giving him the option.

The helicopter sent down a rescuer on a rope. The man said to the rescuer out of his fear of flying, and his fear the helicopter couldn’t survive the raging storm around them, “I refuse, I will stay here, God will save me.” He fought with the rescuer.

The storms ferocity picked up, unable to continue to fly in such a stable position above the house, the military helicopter was forced to retreat to safer air leaving the man on the disappearing roof of his house.

The waters continued to rise eventually consuming the entire home and the man drowned. When the man came up to Jesus at the gates to heaven he cried out, “Lord I prayed, I asked you to save me. Why didn’t you save me?”

Jesus replied, “What do you mean I didn’t save you? I sent a boat, a hovercraft, and a helicopter to save you. What more did you want?”

This is one of my all time favorite stories and reminds me of what I was doing with my own life. God gave me the signs, yet I ignored them. As Christians we will still make mistakes, but we are called to learn from them. Everything around us is planned out; we just need to listen and be patient for God’s plan to present itself for us. There is a verse in the Gospel of Luke in the New Testament that reminds us how all knowing and big the Lord is. In Luke 12:7 Jesus says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (NIV)