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Lesson 3:Cohabitation issues
Story of Gary
A CASE STUDY IN GHOST BUSTING
New and Improved: Loving Without Limits
Angry scowl. Money missing lack of interest in her children.Conflict over insignificant things
I wonder what the scowl means; I need to ask and listen: benefit of the doubt; open mind Wonder how we can work through this together
Curious about reactions; open to knowing and understandingSecure even during anger
Talk; available; listen; share. Affectionate, assertive work thru conflicts. Allow room to build relationship with my childrenOpenness; negotiate parenting
The Fear Ghost: Current Fears and
Reactions
Angry scowl. Money missing - lack of interest in her children.Conflict over insignificant things
Just like my last husband! get prepared for the worst.Guard your heart; assume the worst. Protect the kids
Insecure; fearful; cautiousHurt; defensive; protective
Get quiet and don't share thoughtsAvoid discussion. Jump between kids and husband. Withhold affection
Triggers:
Thoughts
Feelings:
Actions
Cohabitation
1. Fear of getting hurt and finding convenient ways of coupling is creating an environment of COHABITATING before MARRIAGE
2. Belief that a “TRIAL MARRIAGE” will protect us is NOT TRUE
3. COHABITATION before marriage actually increases the likelihood of Relationship Breakup even if the couple goes on to remarry.
4. Dr. Larry Bumpass revealed current U.S. cohabitation rate before marriage is 70%
5. Research shows 9 Factors of cohabiting couples
Cohabitation1. Cohabiting couples are less happy and
more depressed.2. Cohabiters like their independence and
freedom.3. Cohabiters don’t share their money.4. Cohabiting couples cheat more.5. Cohabiters are negative about marriage.6. Couples living together have low
premarital satisfaction.7. Shacking up before marriage is likely to end
in divorce.8. Cohabiters have little faith in God.9. Cohabiting increases the risk of spousal and child abuse!!
Cohabitation
Is cohabitation a true test of a couple's potential marriage quality (i.e., trial marriage)?
Does it help couples avoid a breakup before marriage or divorce after the wedding?
NOT! Yet couples still do it, even to the detriment
of their relationship.
LIVING WITH
SECOND BEST
and then WONDERING WHY IT DIDN'T WORK
OUT FOR THE BEST.
Graphics, desktop publishing, sequencing and editing my OCOI Studios
Xhilliwhack, BC [email protected] permission by cartoonstock.com
Tables and graphs courtesy of Baker Publishing group