Sister Edith Bogue Duluth Benedictine OblatesSt. Scholastica Monastery14 February 2016

Dialogue on Familyand the Rule of Saint Benedict

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Agenda Midday Prayer Announcements• Lecture of Carol Lee Flinders on Feb. 18• Retreat: Live as Gospel People of Mercy! (McCabe 2/20)

• Retreat: God's Mercy, Forgiveness & Liberation (BCS 2/27)

• Retreat: Contain Clutter's Clutches (McCabe 3/19)

Registration for Oblate Retreat on April 9 Consider spending a Desert Day during Lent Conference / Discussion The Common Table - Refreshments

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DIALOGUE

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Dialogue

A practice that recognizes the existence of differing ideas and shows a willingness to be open to changing one's own.

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Dialogue

• Not debate: • No winner or loser.

Not forcing agreement nor seeking uniformity.

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Dialogue

• Seeks new ideas, new knowledge.• Seeks understanding.• Intent on listening more

than on speaking.

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Dialogue• Participants learn

about themselves.• Requires humility

(truth about self) • Requires mercy.

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Dialogue

The challenge of dialogue is to simply allow multiple points of view to be.

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FAMILY

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Monastery is like a Family Shared life in the

same home. Relationships

based on personas well as role.

Shared meals (common table) & leisure. Commitment until death. Uses family based language (brother/sister,

abbot from abba, father)

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Monastery ≠ Family Biological bonds are special. • St. Benedict saw blood ties as a

threat to community (Ch 69) Monastery has more people. • More relationships and groups• Single economic unit

Authority and obedience areformal and structured.

Sister Gretchen, Final Profession, https://oblosb.w

ordpress.com/2010/09/04/augustritual/

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Monastery ≠ Family Choice of group and

of who to admit. Shared commitment. All follow the Rule. Authority is based on

election, not chance,and all (even adults) subject to it.

Language of brother/sister is formal – in opposition to using informal names; prescribed by the Rule.

Bet Gamal, Israel

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THE RULE SPEAKS TO FAMILIES

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Organization of time that sets aside periods just for companionship.

Mutuality and respect Prayer together, whether

liturgical or less formal. Norms of interaction – treating each other well

but having patience with each others failings. Consequences – all are subject to "the

discipline of the Rule."

Applying the Rule to Families

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p-content/uploads/2011/10/fam

ilyworship1.jpg

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Chapter 34 specifically asks: should people receive all things equally.

St. Benedict's reply: No! Reverses the worldly view: • Having more is a sign of infirmity,

not of success or favor.• Having less is a sign of strength • Neither one should murmur about it.

Shares are not equal

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Constant mention of strife in the Rule• Pride• Envy• Hoarding & Greed• Arguments• Complaints

Discipline is exclusion, butnot rejection from group.

Ch. 28: Try everything,then try prayer again.

The relationship can be permanently broken, but only for the good of the community.

Struggles

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g.com/736x/ca/5d/f4/

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Exquisite attention to theneeds of others in thecommunity.

"They should outdo one another in showing honor" (Ch 72, Rom 12:10)

Compete in showing obedience to one another.

One does not choose what is best for oneself, but what is best for another (or the community).

"Fraternal charity with a pure love."

Nurturing relationship

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enttherapy.com/a-crash-course-in-tech-

etiquette-at-the-thanksgiving-table-197613

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Discussion What other chapters

or sayings of the Ruledo you see applyingto family life?

What aspects of family life might we seek wisdom aboutfrom the Rule?

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THE COMMON TABLE: REFRESHMENTS UPSTAIRS

Sister Edith Bogue Duluth Benedictine OblatesSt. Scholastica Monastery14 February 2016

Dialogue on Familyand the Rule of Saint Benedict