ANGER MANAGEMENT

By: Dr. Kamlesh Lala

What is angerAnger is a natural emotion.

It is nature’s way of telling us that something wrong in our lives has gone anywhere.

Causes of AngerTrying to change the past

Trying to change others

Lots of negativity in our mind

and fixed belief system

Unfulfilled desires

Anger is like a mirror

It reflects your inner unstability

If you are disturbed inside, then you will be

disturbed outside.

It makes you blank and blind

Stages of Anger1. Low self esteem and always trying to please

others2. Irritation3. Hatred4. Frustration5. Anger

1. Verbal2. Aggression3. Physical violence

Know the difference between anger and aggression.

Anger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry.

Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is not ok. Learn to check your aggression and express your anger appropriately.

Arguments are part of life and we get into arguments everyday with relatives, friends, classmates, coworkers and sometimes even with strangers.

Bur Remember

They often are trivial and useless.

CONSEQUENCES OF ANGER Identify potential consequences of your anger

to others and yourself…what can that mean for you?

Physical harm to someone or selfStrained relationsDestruction of propertyLoss of family/friendsLoss of jobLoss of social privilegesGoing to jailGetting a bad reputation

How to Control1st stage: Do not react

2nd stage: Do not get hurt

3rd stage: Do not think otherwise

Either control the angerOR

Accept it as your nature

But thenDo not complaint that

1. I want peace,2. happiness and 3. good relationship

RememberAnger is absolutely and always

harmful to me and to others

It is my own creation. I can decide

whether I have to be angry or not

Match stick has a head and no brain

What to do?Awareness: Be aware it is “Anger”Acknowledgement: I have become angryAccept: It was my responsibilityDetach: Who am I? I am a peaceful soul. Peace is

integral part of my personality. Anger is not my nature.

Introspection

Introspection1. It is absolutely harmful in all ways

2. It is my own creation

3. Change your belief system which is usually

based on past experiences

4. List the triggers and try to avoid them in

future

5. Note down gain or loss

Short pencil is better than a long memory.

Use it to reduce your anger

Write down everything which you do not

like on a peace of paper and burnt it or

throw it away

Do not remember past bad experiences.

Let them be washed away by flowing

water like a river

Speak Less

Speak in low tone

Speak sweet

Remember

Do not criticize, condemn or

complain

Because it makes you angry

Say sorry at the right moment

A compilation of stress reduction techniques for channeling one’s angry feelings into socially acceptable directions

Ability to cope and deal with stress

When you are ANGRY and UPSET

remember…

1-2-3 TURTLE

1 – Go inside your shellTHINK before you

ACT

Take a “Time Out”

Time heals everything

Leave the room

2 – Take 3 Deep Breaths

Time to RELAXCalm yourself

down

Think of a good solution

3 – Walk Away

Ways to Stop an Argument Never accuse a person of being wrong.

Admit your mistakes.

Be pleasant and polite.

Get your opponent saying yes. The objective is to have that person stop regarding you as the adversary.

ANGER MANAGEMENT I stop blaming

others and myself.1. Blaming only keeps

people upset.2. Blaming is a way of

not respecting people.

3. I express my feelings and then try to work things out.

ANGER MANAGEMENT Steps to taming

anger1. Know what pushes

your buttons.2. Know your body’s

anger signs.3. Stop and think!4. Cage your rage…

it’s your choice.5. Decide what to do.

ANGER MANAGEMENT1. Calm down2. Name the problem3. Find solutions4. Pick the best solution5. Evaluate the solution6. Congratulate yourself7. Show mutual respect8. Make changes if

necessary9. Review the solution

that was picked