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Table Training slide show with notes for Alpha course.
Citation preview
Introductions
bullName
bullChurch
bullWhat Alpha means
to me
bull Icebreaker
Be succinct ndash or wersquoll be here till next week
Welcome to Alpha Leader Training
What is the Purpose of Alpha
Ultimate Purpose
Everyone come to know
Jesus
GoalGently
persuasively
caringly sensitively
respectfully to listen
and to love them
What is the Purpose of Alpha
What is the vision of Alpha To make
disciples of Jesus from all walks of
life to transform
society one life one
church one community at a time
What is the mission of Alpha
To support
the local church
in its call
to make disciples
of Jesus and
deepen relationships with Jesus and other Christians by providing the tool of the Alpha course
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What is the Purpose of Alpha
Ultimate Purpose
Everyone come to know
Jesus
GoalGently
persuasively
caringly sensitively
respectfully to listen
and to love them
What is the Purpose of Alpha
What is the vision of Alpha To make
disciples of Jesus from all walks of
life to transform
society one life one
church one community at a time
What is the mission of Alpha
To support
the local church
in its call
to make disciples
of Jesus and
deepen relationships with Jesus and other Christians by providing the tool of the Alpha course
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
GoalGently
persuasively
caringly sensitively
respectfully to listen
and to love them
What is the Purpose of Alpha
What is the vision of Alpha To make
disciples of Jesus from all walks of
life to transform
society one life one
church one community at a time
What is the mission of Alpha
To support
the local church
in its call
to make disciples
of Jesus and
deepen relationships with Jesus and other Christians by providing the tool of the Alpha course
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What is the vision of Alpha To make
disciples of Jesus from all walks of
life to transform
society one life one
church one community at a time
What is the mission of Alpha
To support
the local church
in its call
to make disciples
of Jesus and
deepen relationships with Jesus and other Christians by providing the tool of the Alpha course
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What is the mission of Alpha
To support
the local church
in its call
to make disciples
of Jesus and
deepen relationships with Jesus and other Christians by providing the tool of the Alpha course
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha History
Began in England in 1976 in the living room of a clergyman of the Anglican Church
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Historybull Most of its
current form was developed by Nicky Gumbel an Anglican priest at Holy Trinity Brompton in England
bull At HTB more than 500 people participate in each of three courses held during the year
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha History
The Alpha course is worldwidebull 44365 coursesbull 163 Countriesbull Over 13 Million Attendeesbull 72 languages ndash 5 major translationsbull 127 denominations
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha stands forhellip
Anyone can come
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha stands forhellip
Learning and laughter
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha stands forhellip
Pasta
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha stands forhellip
Helping one another
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha stands forhellip
Ask anything
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Trust the Alpha recipe
There is a reason for everything
Alpha
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Schedule
Introductory Dinner - ldquoChristianity Boring Untrue amp Irrelevantrdquo ndash soon to be - rdquoIs There More to Life than Thisrdquo
Alpha 1 ldquoWho is Jesusrdquo
Alpha 2 ldquoWhy Did Jesus Dierdquo
Alpha 3 ldquoHow Can I Be Sure of My Faithrdquo
Alpha 4 ldquoWhy and How Do I Prayrdquo
Alpha 5 ldquoWhy and How Should I Read the Biblerdquo
Alpha 6 ldquoHow Does God Guide Usrdquo
WeekendDay Away
Alpha 7 ldquoHow Can I Resist Evilrdquo
Alpha 8 ldquoWhy and How Should We Tell Othersrdquo
Alpha 9 ldquoDoes God Heal Todayrdquo
Alpha 10 ldquoWhat About the Churchrdquo
Celebration Supper
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Small Groups
Table leaders are servant leaders
- not self-serving leadersndash not teachers
Those attending are guests
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Small Groups
The small groups are seen as a fundamental part of Alpharsquos success across the world
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Small Groups
Friendships are developed and this is the primary reason people come back (especially the skeptics)
The small group may stay together after the conclusion of the course
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Principles
When I came to you brothers I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words but with a demonstration of the Spiritrsquos power so that your faith might not rest on menrsquos wisdom but on Godrsquos power
1 Corinthians 21-5
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Expectations for Team
bull Continue to develop personal faith
bull Focus on Guestsbull Communicate with prayer partners and leaders
bull Prayer
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Remember
Itrsquos not about usItrsquos about Him
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Team Training
Be fully present for Guestsbull Develop a community of
trust and honest sharingbull Create an atmosphere of
comfort and confidentially
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Table Leaders
Heart of Alpha
Should have1 Faith in Christ ndash
committed Christians2 Strong relational
skills
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Table Helpers
bull Potential leaders
bull Perhaps
returning guests
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Ideal Alpha Table Make-Up
2 Leaders
2 Helpers8 Guests
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
DiscussionYou are the host They are
your guests Treat them as such
bull Non-judgmental bull Respectfulbull Honest bull Authenticbull Genuine
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group
Leadersbull Practical detailsbull Common errors
ndash weak leadershipndash too dominate leadership
bull Ask simple questionsndash What do you thinkndash What do you feel
bull Be prepared for common questions
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Leader is a referee and does not take sides in discussions
There to ensure fair play
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Important to set up group expectations
1 No question or subject
is off-limits
2 Respect everyone
3 One person talks
at a time
4 Be honest
5 What is said at table stays at table
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
There to draw out thoughts feelings and ideas
Get Searching Issues and read it
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Model Bible study1 Only when the most reluctant person
is ready2 Start with questions3 Prepare carefully4 Have group read Bible
passage5 Give short introduction6 Get people talking7 Encourage everyone8 DONrsquoT be like school9 Pitch low
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Develop lasting friendships with the Body of Christ
Get to know each person well
Key ndash 5 or 6 significant Christian friendships
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Learn to minister to one another
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group Leaders
Train others to lead
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aims of Small Group
Leaders
Show skit
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Pastoral Care
Summary of Alpha LOVE
1God loves you ndash message of the Bible
2We love God ndash 1st commandment
3Love others ndash 2nd commandment
Heart of Christianity
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aim of Pastoral Care
bull Love who God sends usbull Lifelong process to personal
spiritual maturitybull Donrsquot hurry the processbull Small groups and relationships
are KEY
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aim of Pastoral Care
Be patient Lots is going on
bull Hearing the gospelbull Seeing Jesus Christ in
your livesbull Experience Jesus
Christbull Experiencing Christian
communitybull Not just one
relationship
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Methods of Pastoral CareGive Guests
opportunitiesbull Encourage growth
inbull To studybull To praybull Personal relationship with Christ
bull Relationships within the Body of Christ
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha General AttitudesBe an encouragerbull 1 Thessalonians 511
bull Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing
UnderstandingAffirmationValidation
AppreciationAcceptance
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull James 119
bull My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
No religious conversation during meals
Draw them out
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a listenerbull Listening empowers
peoplebull Opinions are valuedbull Gives dignity
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha General Attitudes
Be a peacemakerbull Matthew 59
bull Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha General Attitudes
Donrsquot argueDiffuse
arguments between guests Validate points made by each
No arguing allows people to change with greater comfort
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Commitment
Colossians 129To this end I labor struggling with all his energy which so powerfully works in me
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha CommitmentOur Responsibility
PrayerOvercoming tirednessHard workLoving everyoneEffortOvercoming disappointment Late nightsConcentrating on guests
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Commitment
bullGodrsquos GracebullAllow the Spirit of God to speak to you during the talks and fill you during worship and ministry moments
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Commitment
Ask for the Holy Spirit to be present
Be ready to serve
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Some Listening FactsbullWe can effectively hear 125-250 words per min
bullWe can effectively think 1000-3000 words per min
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Some Listening Facts
bull85 of what we learn is by listening
bull45 of our day is spent listening
bull75 amount of time preoccupied distracted or forgetful
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 1813
He who answers before listeningmdash that is his folly and his shame
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What does the Bible say about listening
James 119
My dear brothers take note of this Everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
What does the Bible say about listening
Proverbs 182
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or CausesbullShuts down communication
bullTell someone their motive
bullMake judgment about their
relationship with Jesus
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
Jumping to Conclusions or Causesbull Judging can make guest frustrated and decide to not return
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
Impatience
bullFidgeting
bull Interrupting
bullFinishing sentences
bullGuests donrsquot feel valued
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullCause emotional responses
bull If they hit a hot button for me and I respond it becomes about me
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
Hot ButtonsbullFocus should be on guests
bullThink soccer ball
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible BarriersAnxietybullAllows focus to shift to us again
bullWe worry aboutbull Questions we donrsquot know the answer to
bull Asking good questions
bull Domination
bull Dead air
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible BarriersDefensivenessbullWe become preachy and argumentative
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
DefensivenessbullKey
bullBreath slow long and deep
bullTalk to self ndash NOT ABOUT ME
bullNeed to know what to say to them
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Invisible Barriers
InsensitivitybullMust be aware of the feelings of others
bullMust not ignore any sharing
bullPay attention to the message we are sending
bullFocus on us or guest
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Oswald Chambers said
We often represent Jesus in a spirit that is not his We harm Him by our advocacy for Him
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Guest on First NightHow do they feel
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Alpha Guest on First Night
What are they looking for
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Greatest GiftbullListening ear eye contact and good body language
bull It gives them value
bullAllows for sharing
bullGives a place for Jesus Christ to touch them
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Communication Pie
What you say
7
Tone of voice
38
Body Language
55
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitudeS
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
ye contactE
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
elaxed postureR
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
aluing differencesV
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
mbody Jesusrsquos love
ndash Love them thru me
E
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Keys to Communicating
ervant attitude
ye contact
elaxed posture
aluing differences
mbody Jesusrsquos love ndash Love them thru me
S
E
R
V
E
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
If We Listen Effectively
bullRealize that the first thing out of our mouth isnrsquot want they want to talk about
bullMust make them feel safe
bullValidate their feelings
bullUnderstand
bullAllow them to share at the deepest level
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Feeling Chart
Remember
S ndash Sensitive Seating
O ndash Openness
L ndash Leaning
A ndash Appropriate eye contact
R - Relax
Nonverbal Warmth
Also Consider
T ndash Touch
E ndash Environment
A ndash Accommodating Attitude
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Questions
bullNot a sales pitch
bullNot memorized set of questions
bullPutting caring for them into words
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Basic Reflective Listening Formula
Tentative Opening + Feeling + AboutBecauseWhen + ThoughtIt sounds like you feel mad about
I hear you saying that you feel sad because of
If I hear you correctly you feel glad when
You seem to be saying you feel afraid about
I think I hear you saying you feel confused because of
Irsquom not sure I am follow you feel ashamed about
Am I hearing you say you feel lonely when
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Basic Reflective Listening
bull Careful not to give advice
bull Practice with others figuring out what they are really saying
bull Not being manipulative ndash just trying to understand
bull Hearing and understanding leads to compassion
bull Compassion keeps us from trying to be right and lets us sit with them
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
1 Non-threatening
bull No right or wrong
bull Only opinions
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
2 Communicates humility
3 Allows people to discover
the truth for themselves
bull Caring for someone with no ulterior motive
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull We are all seekers
bull Must listen first ndash but discern what people are wondering about
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Characteristics of Wondering Questions
4 Causes people to ask questions
bull Initiate a wondering dialogue ndash be curious about them
bull Search for underlying questions
bull Think Columbo
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they ask the hard question
bullTry to find out the underlying question
bullDonrsquot debate ndash that comes from emotional base
bullStay away from theology
bullldquoI was wondering why that question amp why that question right nowrdquo
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they ask the hard question
bull Important to decide when amp if to send the question back to the table
bullEnd with ldquoI wonder if you can continue to participate in the course and if you donrsquot find the answers you seek wersquoll talkrdquo
bullWrite the question down so they know you wonrsquot forget to get back to it
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they ask the hard question
You have the privilege of meeting people where they are worried
That is the place where they long to meet Jesus
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Itrsquos a Process
bull Conversion Process (Vision New England)
bull 86 of new converts came to faith in Christ over a period of time
bull 32 over several months to a yearbull 54 journey to salvation took
place over several yearsbull 14 one point conversion
ldquoVision New England Recent Convert Studyrdquo Jan 2007 Vision New England Acton Main
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Makes a difference in how we
approach
Where are they on the path
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
The better we listen the better we can
serve
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Knowing where someone is on their path can help us
minister to them
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Self-righteous
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to TrustJudgmental
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Believe in fairy tales
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Narrow minded
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Naive
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Think they are better than me
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Have an agenda
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Watch out
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Evangelists
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to TrustStarting
not on even
playing field
but in a hole
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Trust is a gift of the heart and one of the
most precious gifts of
life
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Coming to faith gains
traction when
trust is establishe
d
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Distrust to Trust
Relationships genuine friendships are
currency
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Without trustLostness can feel
like wise skepticism
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Without trustNo trust ndash no belief
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Happened to Paul tooActs 1718A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers
began todebate with him Some of them asked ldquoWhat is
thisbabbler trying to sayrdquo Others remarked ldquoHe
seems to beadvocating foreign godsrdquo They said this
because Paul waspreaching the good news about Jesus and the
resurrection
Philippians 26Who being in very nature God did not consider
equalitywith God something to be used to his own
advantage
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Jesus Built Trust Too
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
but to work along side us
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Jesus didnrsquot come and preach from on high
to become friends and build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
1 Pray
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Intercede
for them
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Help me to see them as You do God
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Feeling defensive ndash pray
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
2 Learn
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they donrsquot trust
us we must choose to
learn about them
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Understand world
from their perspecti
ve
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Sympathize with them
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Learn about their distrust
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Mark 5 ndash story
of bleedi
ng woma
n
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Listen to their whole story
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
3 Bond
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they donrsquot trust us we must choose
to bond with them
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Jesus came to
live among us and share
our lives
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Share
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Best tool ndash
time
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
4 Affirm
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they donrsquot trust us we must find something to
affirm
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Not blind and
indiscriminate
affirmation of
everything
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Look for real good
and affirm it
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Acts 17 ndash to
Athenians practicing
idol worship
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
AffirmHow does Paul reactActs 1722Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said ldquoPeople of Athens I see that in every way you are very religious
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
We fear affirming
sin so we say nothing
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Find the positive aspect
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Aloofness can
come across as judgment
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Build trust
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Five Kingdom Habits
to Build Trust
5 Welcome
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
When they donrsquot trust us we must assure them they are
welcome
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
John 1 ldquoCome and
seerdquo
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Open the armsof
hospitality
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Be Authentic
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
People can smell a fake a mile
away
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Become astudent
of people
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Practice giving your heart away
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Antidotes to Christian Clicheacutes
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Pray
bull Not tell people you are praying for them
bull Be like Nike ndash
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Listen moreTalk less
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Stop trying to fix everything
bull I love WD-40 and duct tape too But
bull Listenbull Just be
present while they wrestle grieve and reflect
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
See yourself in the ldquoOtherrdquo
bull Remember the Greatest Commandment was not to convert people but to love them
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Quality over quantity
bull Invest time in people
bull Not drive-by evangelism
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Share generously of yourself
bull Be willing to be vulnerablebull Share your story when
appropriate
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Be open to the possibility that yoursquore wrong
bull Everyonersquos faith is evolving
bull The disciples who lived with Jesus changed what they believed
bull Be open Your guest could teach you something
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Apologize
bull A simple apology for the hurt caused by other Christians
bull Name the wrong-doing and validate the hurt
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Own your love
bull Saying ldquoGod loves yourdquo or ldquoJesus loves yourdquo can feel impersonal
bull Why not ldquoI love yourdquo
bull But only if truebull ldquoYou are lovedrdquo
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Make sure your life reflects your faith
bull Donrsquot validate belief that Christians are hypocrites
bull Donrsquot write a check with your mouth that your life canrsquot cash
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Provoke CuriosityEncourage Questions
bull Jesus asked 183 questions in the Gospels
bull Answered only 3bull Answered 307 questions with another question
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Jesus didnrsquot have
Q amp A sessions
He has Q amp Q
sessions
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Think about the box
that the world puts
ldquonice Christiansrdquo in
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Be a catalyst of curiosity
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Point the way
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Choosing to
change scary and
difficult
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Mark 10
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Need to see the world in a whole new way
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
May have to deal
with issues
that have been
ignored for years
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Can open a beautiful door but can feel horrific
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Be Patient as the Journey
Unfolds
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Need to know you are their
friend
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Patience gives the
gift of space and permissio
n to explore
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Letrsquos review
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
1 Unprepared Leaders To prepare for discussion times TL and ATL can use
A Their BibleB Searching IssuesC Prayer and the Holy SpiritD Jay Lenorsquos monologuesE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
2 Allowing a Guest to Dominate To prevent a guest from talking too much
A Gently redirect conversationB Offer to talk or pray with them laterC Privately thank them for sharing and ask them to help you draw others outD Use plenty of duct tapeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
3 Letting discussion get off track To prevent digressions
A Ask helpers to refocus the talk with brief comments or questions
B Refer back to the talkrsquos topic C Offer to talk more about a guestrsquos
concerns later on - during the break if necessary
D Bring a podium and pound on it loudly whenever necessary
E ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
4 Forgetting the Basics Donrsquot forget to begin small group discussions with
A ldquoWhat do you thinkrdquoB ldquoWhat do you feelrdquoC Allowing the Spirit to moveD Sumo wrestlingE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
5 Allowing ldquobashingrdquo or hurtful comments If guests begin bashing other denominations lifestyles beliefs etc
A Speak privately to them if you need toB Rely on ALT to steer the group back to productive talkC Be peacemakers and pray for the ldquodividersrdquoD Send them to the principalrsquos officeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
6 PREACHING amp TEACHING This one is huge Leaders should
A Let the speakers clergy and the Holy Spirit do the teachingB Guard the small group time so all Guests can share and participateC Lay down their pride and be willing to look ldquostupidrdquo if necessaryD Keep your sermons to the first 45 minutes of group timeE ALL OF THE ABOVE EXCEPT D
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
I Corinthians 1 26-31
Brothers think of what you were when you were called Not many of you were wise by human standards not many were influential not many were of noble birth But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things that are not ndash to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus who has become for us wisdom from God ndash that is our righteousness holiness redemption Therefore as it is written ldquoLet him who boasts boast in the Lordrdquo
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
1 Peter 48-11
Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms If anyone speaks he should do it as one speaking the very words of God If anyone serves he should do it with the strength God provides so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever Amen
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
Handouts Available
bull Prayer suggestionsbull Reminders for Leaders and Helpersbull Common Small Group problems and
possible solutionsbull Tips for overcoming challenging
situationsbull Reflective Listening tipsbull Listening Skills tips practice amp self-
evaluationbull Training reviews
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom
To get access to Lisarsquos training
materials
Send Lisa an email requesting the materials She will share a folder of Alpha training materials electronically Feel free to download them and modify to meet the Alpha needs at your church
lisa_mcculloch53hotmailcom