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If you know the person you are in love, standing before you at the altar on your wedding day, then wedding vows should indeed be easy for you to express. But, for those of you who need help with vows, the only way out is to spend time some time alone , and question yourself how he/she is important to you, reflect back on those days when you first met each other, think about all the happy and sad moments you shared and I'm sure you will run out of ink once you put pen to paper! Marriages are made in heaven, but maintained here. Wedding is an occasion but marriage is for life. Are you maintaining yours? There is a difference between a well-maintained car and that never goes for service!
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RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE VOWS
Importance of honoring these vows are crucial to the very root for growth and protection of a healthy society.
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It is not only the value of marriage which appears to be disappearing, but it also appears that the importance of the honoring of the marriage vows is disappearing too.
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Without the honoring of the vows, the vows become a contract It negates the entire essence of the vows – “it does not matter what you do to me or for me or what you don’t do, I will always keep my side of this marriage no matter what” – a covenant, ‘til death do us part!
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The importance of Marriage vows really struck me when I attended my daughter’s friend wedding last Saturday . I listened carefully as the Reverend who was wedding the couple asked the bridegroom and the bride to read their vows. This matter is taken so lightly without much thought. I started thinking about these vows and how important they are to us in marriage.
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WE STAND IN PUBLIC TO VOW. What then happens when we do not honour these vows? Think about it. Have you honoured your vows?. If not, there is room to repent and go back and restore them in your marriage. Don’t give up because you have failed. Failure is not fatal.
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MARRIAGE VOWS HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN
Hence we need to :Bring back or attempt to bring back to the original state where we started
Repair all areas that have become crooked
Bring back to health our marriage wows
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Reinstate our first loveBring back to a former condition as we know where we failed
Restoring back to the original state the vows as we stated them on the Wedding Day.
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In one of the Newspapers in Kenya some men said: “where are the good women?” Kenyan men bemoan the lack of supportive, genuinely loving Kenyan woman, and described what the ideal woman would look like to them.” This is a great concern.
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Psalm 11:1-3In the LORD I take refuge. How then can you say to me: "Flee like a bird to your mountain. For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart. When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?"(NIV)
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Matthew 7:24-27"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
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But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.“ (NIV)
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You must lay strengthened foundations that can withhold any forces that comes to destroy our marriages. Lets go back to the designer of marriage.
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COMPLAINTS FROM MEN
I am not biased where but many men have run away from their marriages and have complained so much about their wives. What their expectations were as they wedded were never met. Hence the following is just a part of what the Kenyan men have complained of.
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Men liken the possibility of finding a good Kenyan woman to searching for a pin lost in a field of nappier grass. They claim the good women are few and far between, and it would take real work to unearth them. Most men claim that they have difficulties finding a woman to meet their emotional needs, share their successes and frustrations and settle down and have children with.
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Most men fault habits like nagging, not stroking his ego regularly or fulfilling his several needs, not cooking, ironing, and neglecting to take care of him. These they say, are the magical ingredients that are found only in few Kenyan women.
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One man said, “To find a good woman in Kenya, you will have to go to the remotest part of this country where values are still upheld.
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At no other time have men agreed being beaten by women and at no other time have women been more aggressive. Why? A quick answer would be that they are venting out their anger. Husbands who no longer provide; not only food and school fees, but also conjugal rights.
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There are many cracks in the marriage building; cracks of anger, immorality, HIV/AIDS, divorce, drugs, gay marriages, lesbianism etc. The cracks are too many and scary.
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Despite its importance, the marriage institution today is faced with diverse challenges; rape, incest and divorce, suicide, unfaithfulness and violence. Whether we look at it from a Christian or non-Christian view point, the institution is in serious trouble.
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Marriage is an empty box which you fill with promises to be appropriated.
I believe God will restore what the locusts have eaten in our families. But we must also restore the vows that we took.
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Let me remind you; When people first get married, they are so anxious, fearful and tired. 5 years, 10 – 40 or 50 – marriage is not a contract – it is a covenant and it is before God.
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MARRIAGE VOWS
I………………..Take you ………………………..To be my wedded wife (husband) To have and to hold, from this day forward
For better for worse,For richer for poorer
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In sickness and in healthTo love and to cherish (and obey)
Till death do us part,According to God’s holy ordinance
And thereto, I give you my pledge
(Sign – rings. Where are they now)
“You may now kiss the bride”
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During last Saturday’s wedding after the Bridegroom was asked to kiss the Bride, the congregation in the church was so excited that they demanded again for the Bridegroom to kiss the Bride. I wondered whether the kiss is more important than the vows that had been made.
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LETS LOOK AT THE VOW
1. I take you. It was not by force – it was a choice
2. To be my lawful wedded husband/wife .
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3. For Better for Worse; even if situations are not working well you need to sort them out. There are no marriages in heaven, so work for yours now.
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4. For Richer for Poorer. Riches can be a blessings or a curse. I know so many couples, when they were poor, they loved each other. But now, each can do without the other financially, so they don’t care.
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God has vested interest in this companionship, because He is looking forward for it to produce godly children. – to populate heaven, for Him to share all that He has in heaven.
Malachi 2:15 – Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
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5. In sickness and in health. Sickness is not always physical. Are you there with your spouse in times of any manner of sickness? Depression, obesity, cancer, hypertension, etc
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6. To love and cherish (Obey). Cherish means:
Protect or tend longinglyHold dearCling toUnder cherish, for ladies we say obey
Cherish…. Read letter of man upset with his life.
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7. Till death do us part. Divorce has become so common, even among Christians.
Malachi 2:16 – God hates it. If you want to do something that God hates, then study it:
God hates it
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It affects your children. One child said to parents – if you divorce, I will commit suicide
It leaves scars
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8. Now kiss the bride!! When was the last time? I used to think it is the problem of the men until I talked to some and they said – ‘look at those women, are they kissable?’
Naomi to Ruth – wash, perfume and nice dress – story
Night dressWomen ware sending our husbands away!
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Would agree with the Kenyan men? I never agreed with them as I believe you are given a wife and it is your responsibility to make the wife you want from your wife. Don’t compare and contrast. It is the responsibility of the wife too to make the husband she wants from her husband.
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Go back to your dating times and bring them to your situations today. You will amazed and blame yourself. Do the most to honour your vows.
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FINALLYMarriages are made in heaven, but maintained here. Wedding is an occasion but marriage is for life. Are you maintaining yours? There is a difference between a well-maintained car and that never goes for service!
