Why Men Have Affairs – Why Men Have Affairs – Which of These Drove Your Which of These Drove Your Husband to Cheat on You?Husband to Cheat on You?

By Lisa PennBy Lisa Penn

How-to-Save-Marriage.orgHow-to-Save-Marriage.org

When I found out my husband had a When I found out my husband had a 6 month affair with his coworker, I 6 month affair with his coworker, I was so angry I was so angry I could chew could chew through steelthrough steel..

How could he do this to me? To us? How could he do this to me? To us? To our family? And most importantly To our family? And most importantly – WHY? Why did my husband have – WHY? Why did my husband have an affair? an affair? Why do men have Why do men have affairsaffairs? ?

My shock and anger My shock and anger developed into developed into sadness, despair, low sadness, despair, low self esteem and I felt self esteem and I felt like my whole life was like my whole life was one big lieone big lie. . In a In a pathetic attempt to pathetic attempt to regain control, I became regain control, I became obsessed with finding obsessed with finding out the reason for men out the reason for men to have affairsto have affairs. . This is This is what I found and I want what I found and I want to share with youto share with you. .

Why do Men Have Why do Men Have Affairs?Affairs?

If you really want to If you really want to understand why your understand why your husband was unfaithful, husband was unfaithful, you have to be strongyou have to be strong. . You have to be prepared You have to be prepared that the answer – The that the answer – The real answer – May not real answer – May not be what you expectedbe what you expected. . And it takes guts and And it takes guts and strength to take an strength to take an honest look at your honest look at your relationship, without relationship, without filters (and without the filters (and without the accusations) accusations)

Cheaters cheat because they Cheaters cheat because they have the FALSE notion that have the FALSE notion that

going outside the going outside the relationships will solve their relationships will solve their

problems or fulfill their problems or fulfill their needsneeds. .

These are the possible These are the possible reasons your husband reasons your husband

cheatedcheated1. Your relationship used to 1. Your relationship used to make him feel make him feel

specialspecial. . He doesn’t feel that anymoreHe doesn’t feel that anymore.. 2. He used to be 2. He used to be sexually satisfiedsexually satisfied in your in your

relationship. Now he feels you don’t want relationship. Now he feels you don’t want him to touch you and that sex for you is a him to touch you and that sex for you is a chore. chore.

3. He has 3. He has never learned to honor boundariesnever learned to honor boundaries. . He knows they are there, but he has little He knows they are there, but he has little hesitation stepping over them. If this is the hesitation stepping over them. If this is the case with your husband, you probably case with your husband, you probably noticed this a long time ago, even before you noticed this a long time ago, even before you were married. were married.

4. He is a 4. He is a thrill seekerthrill seeker, who can’t pass up on , who can’t pass up on the opportunity to get a thrillthe opportunity to get a thrill. . An affair is a An affair is a big temptation and he has probably big temptation and he has probably cheated more than oncecheated more than once. (. (If you want to If you want to know if your husband is the serial cheater know if your husband is the serial cheater type – See this articletype – See this article))

5. He has a 5. He has a low self esteemlow self esteem and feels and feels unappreciated at home, so he looks for unappreciated at home, so he looks for someone out of the marriage to “care for someone out of the marriage to “care for him”. This feeds his ego. him”. This feeds his ego.

6. He 6. He feels neglectedfeels neglected and unloved and unloved. . His His needs, whether they are sexual needs, whether they are sexual needs or romantic needs or just his needs or romantic needs or just his “need” to hang out with his friends “need” to hang out with his friends twice a weektwice a week. . It could be any kind of It could be any kind of “need”“need”..

7. He “7. He “Loves you but not in love with youLoves you but not in love with you””. . This is not a real reason of course, it’s a This is not a real reason of course, it’s a justification he gives himself to cheat with a justification he gives himself to cheat with a clear conscienceclear conscience. . This sentence is actually a This sentence is actually a code for something elsecode for something else. . It’s a sign of a real It’s a sign of a real and severe relationship breakdown and the and severe relationship breakdown and the result of a “chronic” troubled marriageresult of a “chronic” troubled marriage. . But But it doesn’t mean that he really doesn’t live it doesn’t mean that he really doesn’t live you anymoreyou anymore. . He may not know how he He may not know how he feels at all right nowfeels at all right now. .

Your wounded ego and Your wounded ego and broken heart scream broken heart scream with rage right nowwith rage right now. . HIS HIS needs? HIS emotions? needs? HIS emotions? HIS self esteem?HIS self esteem?

What about What about MY needs? MY needs? My emotions?My emotions? I do I do everything for him and everything for him and for this family and I for this family and I never cheated! And this never cheated! And this is how I get rewarded? is how I get rewarded? Stabbed in the back with Stabbed in the back with his lying and cheating?his lying and cheating?

You are completely You are completely justified to feel like this.justified to feel like this.

But it’s time to put this question, which But it’s time to put this question, which may be haunting you for months – may be haunting you for months – Behind you for goodBehind you for good..

Why Your Husband Cheated Why Your Husband Cheated Doesn’t Matter Anymore!Doesn’t Matter Anymore!

It doesn’t matter because It doesn’t matter because it’s not the real reason it’s not the real reason anywayanyway. . It’s just a It’s just a justificationjustification. . A marriage A marriage is a promise of fidelityis a promise of fidelity, , no matter whatno matter what. What . What ever his “reason” was, ever his “reason” was, it’s NOT your fault. You it’s NOT your fault. You couldn’t have couldn’t have prevented it because prevented it because your husband doesn’t your husband doesn’t understand that understand that relationship problems relationship problems should be solved should be solved INSIDE the relationship INSIDE the relationship and not OUTSIDE of it. and not OUTSIDE of it.

The unmistakable and harsh The unmistakable and harsh truth is that no matter how truth is that no matter how “perfect” you thought your “perfect” you thought your relationship was – It WASN’Trelationship was – It WASN’T..

A slow process has begun, who A slow process has begun, who knows how long ago, that led to knows how long ago, that led to a breakdown in communication. a breakdown in communication.

This breakdown This breakdown was ignored, or was ignored, or unnoticed and unnoticed and untreated. With untreated. With time, it poisoned time, it poisoned your marriage your marriage and led to this and led to this crisis.crisis.

This does NOT necessarily mean that This does NOT necessarily mean that your marriage is overyour marriage is over. . That you That you will never trust him again, that he will never trust him again, that he will never changewill never change. . Kick these Kick these negative thoughts to the curbnegative thoughts to the curb..

If he shows real regret and seeks If he shows real regret and seeks your forgiveness, this affair could your forgiveness, this affair could turn out to be the perfect storm in turn out to be the perfect storm in your marriage.your marriage.

If you If you take the right stepstake the right steps to healing to healing yourself (first) and your marriage, yourself (first) and your marriage, you may wake up one morning to a you may wake up one morning to a marriage with renewed and better marriage with renewed and better communication, transparency, communication, transparency, intimacy and love – More than ever intimacy and love – More than ever before.  I am a living proof that it’s before.  I am a living proof that it’s possible. possible.

These “right steps” are critical and These “right steps” are critical and without them, there’s a zero to low without them, there’s a zero to low chance that your marriage will survive chance that your marriage will survive this affair. this affair.

You can discover these steps – You can discover these steps – Right HereRight Here..

Don’t waste more time – In any Don’t waste more time – In any second it can be too late!second it can be too late!

For more free marriage For more free marriage education go to: education go to:

How-to-Save-How-to-Save-Marriage.orgMarriage.org