What If I Lose My Secret Love?

What If I Lose My Secret Love?

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Question: • I am finally at peace with myself • I love a man dearly and want his

child • My daughter is aware of him

but my son is not


• I have always kept him separate from my family and he is not interested in them

• Not even my friends know about him


• I want to live with him and have his child

• If I talk to him about it, I may lose him

• What should I do?


Answer • This is a fantasy and a

conditional relationship that suits you both

• Only you can decide whether to talk to him


• Get clarity before you talk to him.

• What do you want? What is the other side of the fantasy?


• You enjoy many benefits from the relationship – The excitement of the secret – Your capacity to love – Being loved – The freedom to spend your time with him

or not – Anticipation of meeting him


• There is a downside: – You don’t know his family or friends – He chooses what to share with you – You cannot rely on his support – Is he good father? – Will he fit into your life?


• Wanting to share everything with him could scare him off and destroy his fantasy

• Or you will both have to make many adjustments that will really test the relationship


• If he wants to share your life, how will your life change?

• Do you want all those changes? For better or for worse?


• There is also the possibility of even a deeper love


• What if he does not want the responsibility of a child? What if he ends the relationship?


• How have you changed and grown in your relationship with him?

• Did he teach you the real meaning of Love?

• Did he help you to heal and love yourself?


• You may lose him but you will never lose the wisdom you gained from your relationship with him

• That is your gift for a future relationship


• As long as you are scared of losing him, you are still dependent on him and doubting yourself

• Find what he offers in yourself


• Whatever he and you decide will be right for both of you


Thank You

Self Improvement

What If I Lose My Secret Love?