The Holiday Time and Energy BanditsTime and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving youexhausted and harried.

One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism.

Now perfectionism is a wonderful trait – in its place. Some of the places where it is advisable topractice perfectionism include brain surgery (or any kind of surgery), pharmacy, air traffic control,operation of any kind of heavy equipment, including motor vehicles, or any other activity thatseriously threatens the health and safety of living things.

But true perfectionists extend this way of thinking and behaving far beyond the boundaries ofnecessity. Relationships, child-rearing, weddings, and holidays are areas where the wholeexperience would be better for everyone if the perfectionist couldjust back off.

Christmas can include a hurricane search for exactly theright gift, which is unavailable due to its popularity, or theultimate holiday decorations and meal, suitable for a photographon a magazine cover.

“But I’d be letting people down if I didn’t do it,” wailed oneof my clients. “Really?” I said. “Have you asked them?” Turnsout her family members were delighted to be asked. They hatedher frantic search for perfection.

How to dial down your perfectionistic tendencies? Make a list of all the areas in your life whereit is necessary for you to be a perfectionist (see discussion above). Then make a list of all the areaswhere is merely “desirable,” including filling out income tax returns, making travel reservations,dealing inadequately with customers or clients. Failure to be perfect here can result in spendingmoney or in wasting time, but it is not life-threatening.

What’s left after the “necessary” and “desirable” areas are the gray areas: being concernedabout how you dress, how your home looks, whether you have said something foolish, made amistake, or somehow displayed your ignorance.

In this context, perfectionism is NOT about setting high expectations or being successful inyour endeavors. It is about being concerned about making mistakes and about worrying about whatothers think. Perfectionism in this arena robs you of joy, of creativity, and of authenticrelationships.

Think of it this way – persistent perfectionism is stress, and persistent stress is life-threatening. Any event that you are willing to shorten your life for by having anxiety had better bean equally life-threatening event. Are dust bunnies, disarranged hair, or verbal mistakes really worthyour life?

Turn the lights down low (hides the dust bunnies), sit back, and smile a lot. Forgive yourself

for small mistakes and forgive others around you for the same. Trust me – you’ll be more popular –relaxed – than you ever thought possible.

Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years'experience in the field of stress and time management and personal growth. Her latest book is TheConfident Introvert, written to help introverts overcome the stress of living in a culture thatidealizes extroversion, so that they can thrive, and not just survive.Visit her website athttp://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.