Social Parenting 101

©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Social Parenting 101 CURTIS MIDDLE SCHOOL • DECEMBER 4, 2012

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about.me/miketrap

COPYRIGHT © 2012 ACTIFIO 2


The Crew

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The Look

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My Best Advice •  Bad things can happen. Being concerned about

them is not a strategy for preventing them. •  Educating yourself empowers you to help, and

can even enrich your own relationships. •  A process, aligning freedom & responsibility. •  Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control. •  Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t

recover from. Learn to live with the rest.

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Social Media: The Good

•  Connecting a global society. •  Enables relationship building. •  Based on “Pull,” Not “Push.” •  Keeps them plugged in to what’s up. •  Keeps you plugged in to them.

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Our kids will be more mobile than us, but may never lose touch with their

first grade classmates.

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©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 8

“Social media is like a cocktail party...”


Social Networks

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“The Big Three”

“The Eddie Haskell’s”

“The Sneaky Selfies”


“SoMoLoCo”

•  Anything Social is Mobile. •  Anything Mobile is Local. •  Anything Local is Commercial. •  All of it is Commercial.

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A Moving Target

•  300 new mobile apps / day •  Most are “social” •  Which are your kid using? •  One of you use them. •  Insist on transparency. •  Agree to invisibility.

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Social Media: The Bad

•  Like the world: Priests, and Perverts. •  Plus a few Priest Perverts. •  Anonymous, and personal. •  Always on. •  Digital = Permanent.

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Amanda Todd

COPYRIGHT © 2012 ACTIFIO 13


Danger Zone

The Problem

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Ability To Create Harmful Consequence

Time

Mag

nitu

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A Strategy*

•  Focus on the process. •  Define reasonable rules. Get buy-in. •  Gradual… at your speed, not theirs. •  The price of freedom is trust. •  Earned, with time and good judgment.

*Your Mileage May Vary 15


Facebook Usage Contract between Jane Smith & her parents

I know that having a Facebook account is a privilege. I respect that my parents love me and want to keep me safe. My parents respect that I am becoming a young adult and want the privilege of having a Facebook account. With that in mind, we agree:

1.  I understand that my parents expect full transparency regarding the content on my Facebook page/account. They can access my account at any time, and I must share my password with them and notify them if it is ever changed.

2. I will receive 1 hour each day of “social screen time.” Social screen time includes: Facebook use on the computer or cell phone; cell phone use (texting, apps, games, etc.); and non-homework related computer time (email, YouTube, Chat, etc.). If I am working on a project for fun, such as a video, more screen time will be allowed.

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3.  I will respect “device free time” which includes during meals, time in the car immediately after school, and time spent with visiting family members.

4.  I agree that if I am unable to keep up with my household responsibilities, or if I demonstrate untrustworthy behavior, my Facebook account can be taken away from me.

5.  I will not use Facebook account for any malicious or inappropriate purposes (teasing, bullying, intimidation, etc.) I will remember that what I post becomes permanent and that I should never post something I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying directly to a person’s face. If I violate this policy, my Facebook account can be taken away from me.

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6.  If it is determined that my Facebook account is distracting me to the point where I exceed my social screen time limits, or my schoolwork suffers, or impacts my interaction with family members, my Facebook account can be taken away from me.

7.  I will abide by all of these rules and understand that if they are not followed or if I attempt to circumvent them, there will be consequences including the loss of my Facebook privilege.

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Jane Smith

Jinny Jones

Michael Smith

Sarah Smith

Jane Smith

Jinny Jones

Michael Smith

Sarah Smith


The Talk •  “I respect your right to make your own

mistakes. My job is to keep you from making mistakes you can’t recover from.”

•  “In 4 years, you’ll own the consequences of your choices. We’re going to move from here to there together, at the rate I decide.”

•  “I take this very seriously, because I love you. I expect you to do the same.”

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My Best Advice •  Bad things can happen. Being concerned about

them is not a strategy for preventing them. •  Educating yourself empowers you to help, and

can even enrich your own relationships. •  A process, aligning freedom & responsibility. •  Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control. •  Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t

recover from. Learn to live with the rest.

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Q&A 21

thank you. @miketrap

Self Improvement

Social Parenting 101