How to Get Out of

People Pleaser

Nation…

By: Kassandra Bibas

http://www.kassandrabibas.com

What’

s yo

ur

people

ple

asi

ng b

utt

on?

Avo

idin

g

Conflic

t?

Earn

ing

aff

ect

ion?

Fam

ily

Oblig

ati

ons?

Clim

bin

g t

he

corp

ora

te

ladder?

Hid

ing t

he r

eal

you b

ehin

d ‘Ye

s’?

The Problem isn’t

seeking approval

It’s NEEDING it…

The

Diff

ere

nce

…Seeking

I’d like you

to be

interested in

how I’m

pursuing my

dream…”

Needing

I won’t move

forward with

my dream if

you’re not

behind me

on it.”

Living life

on yo

ur o

wn

term

s com

es a

t a

price

…

Pick battles big enough

to matter, small

enough to win.” –

Jonathan Kozel

You’ll

have

to

say

no t

o

oth

ers

…

And y

es

to y

ou…

You’ll have to disappoint users,

disown emotional vampires, &

forget about being the ‘nice’ one…

HINT: Being the ‘nice’ one is overrated…

You’ll

have

to h

old

firm

on y

our

posi

tion…

While

lett

ing g

o o

f th

e n

egati

ve ju

nk…

But beware of 3 traps

to your exit from

people pleaser nation…

BLA

ME…

SH

AM

E…

GU

ILT…

“Nothing other people do is

because of you.

It is because of themselves.”

- Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four

Agreements

5 W

ays to

Sto

p

People

Ple

asin

g

1. Give yourself 24

hours to say

‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to

any request.

2. Do 15 minutes

of a self esteem

building activity

before going

into a “No”

conversation

3. Carve out your

3-4 non-

negotiable

activities and do

those BEFORE

you do favors

for anyone else

4. Do a friendship

inventory & cut

out any ties that

are one sided (if

someone only

calls when they

need something,

change your

number)

5. Know that you

have the right to

say no to

anyone or

anything and

make feeling

guilt about it an

option you don’t

take

At

the e

nd o

f th

e

day,

it’s

up t

o y

ou…

“Find your voice to

ask for what you

want. Everybody has

the right to tell you

no or yes, but you

always have the right

to ask.”

-Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four

Agreements