Compass of ResponseBrian Landberg

2015-Mar-14

Background

• Often, we find ourselves in situations that are unanticipated and/or undesirable. How we react in such situations can make the difference between success and failure (in career, in life, in relationships). However, as events do happen unexpectedly, and we are expected to react ‘in-the-moment’ (immediately and under duress), we may have difficulty choosing the best response and instead bow to our emotions (fear, anger, etc.).

• It would be good to have a guideline of responses that we could glance at like a wristwatch or a pocket compass. Thus, I designed one.

• This idea was inspired by the writings of Steven Covey (7 Habits), and also Viktor Frankl, who said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Engage

Avoid

Indirect Direct

The 2 primary axes of response are*Engage with or Avoid another party, *Interact Directly or Indirectly

A wide spectrum of various responses may fallWithin the quadrants described by these axes.Q1: Quadrant of Logic/DebateQ2: Quadrant of Postponement Q3 : Quadrant of ExpressionQ4 : Quadrant of Kindness

For example, • Apologize - Quadrant 3 (or 4)• Negotiate - Quadrant 1 (or 4)• Escalate/Seek mediation – Quadrant 2 • Change subject/make humour– Quadrant 4

2 1

4 3

12 o’clock

6 o’clock

3o‘clock9

o‘clock

Escalate

Walk-out

LegalAction

Negotiate

LogicalDebate

Apology

Ask info

KindnessHumor/Changesubject

Mutual goals

ExpressFeelings

Postponerelations

Engage

Avoid

Indirect Direct

This compass can be printed and used as a handywearable/portable reference. It could also be

incorporated as an application for digitally helping people to manage the responses to emotional situations.

1. Engage/Direct Quadrant

• Logical quadrant: Initiate discussion, debate, negotiation, legal action

2. Engage/Indirect Quadrant

• Postponement quadrant: Walkout, postpone, escalate to higher authority

3. Avoid/Direct Quadrant

• Expression quadrant: Emphasize mutual goals, express feelings of dissatisfaction, inconvenience, apologize for causing embarrassment, etc.

4. Avoid/Indirect Quandrant

• Kindness quadrant: Request more information to better understand the viewpoint of the other party; Perform a small act of kindness; Add humor to lighten the situation; Change the subject to refocus on a topic of mutual interest, etc.