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Welcome To view material from this talk visit www.sacap.edu.za/events Like our Facebook Page Follow us on Twitter @SACAP #psychologyfest

Angela hough

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Angela Hough-Maxwell, one of the speakers at the 2014 Psychology Festival of Learning, talks about the challenges of parenting today & how to overcome them.

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Page 1: Angela hough

WelcomeTo view material from this talk visit

www.sacap.edu.za/eventsLike our Facebook Page

Follow us on Twitter @SACAP #psychologyfest

Page 2: Angela hough

The challenges of parenting in this time

Angela Hough-Maxwell

[email protected]

http://anghoughmaxwell.withtank.com/

Page 3: Angela hough

“The paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints, we spend more and buy more, but enjoy it less, we have bigger houses and smaller families, more access to knowledge and less trust of our inner knowledge, more medicine and experts but less wellness, more food but less nutrition.”

- Quoted from Jack Miller, University of Toronto.

Page 4: Angela hough

The challenges of parenting in this time

• lack of support for soul• ‘nuclear’ isolated parenting• multimedia• split from earth • uncertain future• individual consciousness (i-pads, i-phones) • Constant commentary on parenting etc. • Addiction• Everything now• Over-attentive

Page 5: Angela hough

Challenges to family in the Context

• Poverty

• HIV

• Multiple loss

• Break down in family and community structures

• Increased burden of care

• Fast paced, consumer based lifestyle demands

Page 6: Angela hough

Importance of family: research tells us:

• Children’s psychosocial needs (even in trauma) are best met by their families, schools and communities

• Long-term investments in strengthening family support are more sustainable than short-term, crisis-driven interventions to help individual children.

• The earlier we provide support in a child’s life the better the investment.Rates on return of human capital investment (Heckman, 2004)

• Brain most open to formation up to age four - develop pathways for learning and thinking- families provide that stimulation

• Early caregiver-child interactions play a profound role in emotional adjustment, nutrition, cognitive development, language acquisition and self-regulation.

Page 7: Angela hough

Research re families continued..

• A stable and emotionally supportive family life has been associated with:

Higher rates of school attendance Better school performance Greater resilience to adversity Higher self esteem.

• For resilience a child needs: A relationship with consistent caring adult and sense of belonging Hope for the future Meaningful participation (in family, society and cultural practices)

Page 8: Angela hough

Research re families continued…

• Quality of attachment (secure) is an important factor in the child’s capacity to process and resolve the trauma (Shore, A. 2001)

• Maternal affection lessens likelihood of developing mental health difficulties later in life. – E.g. Gardner, A. (2010)Health.com followed 500

infants into 30’s. Found those receiving above average affection were happier children, less anxious or hostile in adulthood and had fewer psychosomatic symptoms

• Affection (e.g. breastfeeding) increases hormone oxytoxin (“bonding hormone” )in brain– leading to more effective social interactions in future

Page 9: Angela hough

Therefore a strong case for:

• Policies, practices and programmes that strengthen relationships and foster positive interactions between carers and children, e.g. parenting support, paid parental leave, infant massage,

ECD, promoting play, etc.

• Supporting families to support young children’s healthy development.

• Help those who work with young children appreciate the importance of supporting families and realise the impact that their strong relationships with parents have on a child’s healthy development.

Concluding ThoughtsConcluding Thoughts

Hands

Heart

HeadDON’T EVER LET THEM

BE TAKEN APART

Page 10: Angela hough

The call

• What is the call of these challenges to those of us living and parenting in these times? Parenting will challenge each of us in ways we need to grow personally, but also us as a society.

Page 11: Angela hough

Call to actionRichter, Foster and Sherr (2006) & Richter (2006)

• Prioritise everyday systems of care and support. • Invest long-term in integrated services to

promote psychosocial wellbeing• Realise the right of all children to access these

integrated services. • Demand that more governments take the lead in

guaranteeing this right• Earmark resources for applied research to expand

the evidence base.• Safe play spaces

Page 12: Angela hough

Personal call

• To do our own inner work• “God be with the mother. As she carried her child may she

carry her soul. As her child was born, may she give birth and life and form to her own higher truth. As she nourished and protected her child, may she nourish and protect her inner life and her independence. For her soul shall be her most painful birth, her most difficult child, and the dearest sister to her other children.” – Michale Luenig

• We treat the fatal consequences of technology as though they were a technical defect that could be remedied by technology alone. We are looking for an objective way out of the crisis of objectivism.

Page 13: Angela hough
Page 14: Angela hough

Child care act

• Carers are responsible for the day-to-day care of a child.

• Children should have a right to play and enjoy their childhood whilst they are still young

• Prevention and early intervention programmes that look at preserving the family – making sure that the family stays together.

• Approaches that: Support the best interests of child, strengthen and build capacity in the parenting skills, non-violent discipline, taking care of children with disabilities and having good relationships in the family.

Page 15: Angela hough

The 3 dialogues and 8 guidelines of good interaction

•Express feelings

•Tune in to child

•Expression of love

•acknowledgement

The emotional expressive dialogue

• Joint attention & shared focus

•Give meaning

•Expand with explanation

The meaning oriented expansive

dialogue

•Plan

•Positive limit setting

•Step by step instruction

The regulative dialogue

Page 16: Angela hough

4 languages of care for child (BALL)

• Boundaries: Language of boundaries- rules, routine, setting limits, providing consistency and safety. Tell your children what behaviour you would like.

• Affirmation: Language of affirmation – praise the positive things they do, notice their strengths, say thank you.

• Love: Language of love: show your child you love them: Give affection -hugs, kisses, smiles.

• Learning: Language of learning- encourage learning by: sharing interest in; and spending quality time doing things together, playing with, showing interest in what your children are interested in, expanding on what they know, reading together

Page 17: Angela hough

Doll making

Empowerment, connect to child within, get to know you

Page 18: Angela hough

Comfort doll – to talk to, hug, give comfort in times of loss.

Page 19: Angela hough

Parental (carer) role

• Carers are responsible for the day-to-day care of a child.

• They bring a sense of security and trust

• Make a child feel loved, and worthy of love

• They provide a secure base from which to explore the world

• Teach a child values and what is right & wrong,

• They act as a role-model to the child

Page 20: Angela hough

Some tools:

• Tolerate ambiguity and bridge polarities

• Recognising our strength and weakness (core quadrant model):

• Build community:

• Sort our too-muchness

• One task at a time

• Listen to you soul, teach your children to listen to theirs

• Consider the whole

Page 21: Angela hough

Thank youTo view material from this talk visit

www.sacap.edu.za/events

Like our Facebook Page

Follow us on Twitter @SACAP

#psychologyfest