Svejk Goes To McKinley Corporation by Alan Svejk

Svejk Goes To McKinleyCorporation

by Alan Svejk

Training Women in Business,PR, Security, Military

Page 1 The Burden Of Attachment by Alan Svejk by Alan Svejk

ALAN SVEJK PUBLIC RELATIONSCreate Persuade Influence★ ★

Special Media Operations PSYOPS INFOOPS SPECOPS★ ★

Public Relations Public Affairs Civil Affairs★ ★http://www. svejk-alan.cz

Svejk Goes To McKinley Corporation by Alan Svejk

We daily read many good advices, how to be successful during job interviews, but still, wefail often. But there are also people, who use another, unexpected and highly efficient appro-ach to get a job in a dreamy corporation. Their methods are unusual, but as you will see in thefollowing example, their dream job can become a reality, because they are able to persuadethe HR personnel about their unique value in the crowd of hungry workforce. Many peopledream to be the employees of famous McKinley corporation, for example, but to sell your-self, to persuade the opposite side, that she MUST hire YOU, is the real magic. If you wantmore - you have to do more, than just to memorize the common questions during interview.Read, how one original protagonist solved this everlasting issue!

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New York, Wall Street, McKinley Headquarters, HR department conference

"There is one more important matter we should discuss in this meeting," the HR director saidwith serious face. "We were advised by our Internal Affairs department, that this particularcase needs a special attention and close examination.

Here is, what just happened. Our Prague subsidiary received an application for employmentby a slightly questionable person, to be courteous. This individual alerted our internal securi-ty processes, and we should decide, how to solve this possible tiny crisis, which could jeopar-dize our business operations and damage our reputation abroad.

Of course, we could ignore this application completely, as we do often, to protect the self-confidence of applicants, to save them from rejection and bad feelings. However, in this spe-cial case, this method seems not suitable.

According to our internal Intelligence report, Mr. Josef Svejk could be somehow connectedwith certain high structures of power and influence. He declares himself, that he directly par-ticipated in a special military operation, and allegedly, he almost received the highest statemedal for his alleged brave efforts and alleged valor, as an experienced Special Forces opera-tor.

Our Surveillance data confirm, that Mr. Josef Svejk really maintains some closer connectionswith high-ranked military officers, during regular pub sessions on Friday evenings. So this


http://www.svejk-alan.cz/


statement could be, in fact, even true. Moreover, the NSA intercepted the fragment of hisvoice communication, where he declares... let me quote:"

"... tomorrow, all doormen on Wall Street will greet me as a business nobility, friend! That´swhat will happen, and nothing can stop this event. Hallo, waiter! One more round of drinkshere, and quickly! I want to celebrate my inevitable business success! I was born to conquerthe Wall Street, my famous Grandpa was also a very capable accountant, so we have this un-disputed talent for the biggest financial transactions in our famous family! And who disagreeswith me, who doubts about my special skills - just dare and tell me that rude statement intomy eyes of the eagle! I am telling you, my beloved pub friends, and you can bet on me: soon,that McKinley kings will literally beg me to come to America and to help them with theircomplicated business affairs! They are amateurs anyway, and no Harvard university degresscan change that..."

Everybody in the conference room smiled to this insolence, but the HR director kept his faceconcentrated. "As you could hear, it´s obvious, that Mr. Svejk plans some big offensive intothe structures of high business. And I am afraid, that he chose, unfortunately, our corporationto make a big international business career.

Although he seems as an intellectually weaker person, his determination should be conside-red as an substantial factor. In other words, it is in our best interest to develop the relationswith this individual very cautiously and gently, otherwise he will be an unpleasant nuisanceto our Prague office. Our Czech colleagues already reported, that he started to visit local pubssystematically, and he announces publicly, that the beginning of his alleged new big careerlies in the direction of our local administrative building. Each time he meets somebody in asuit around, he asks annoying questions about our internal HR processes and business ope-rations, allegedly to be better prepared to the interview in our corporation.

So, we should decide, how to advance further, and how to solve this sensitive situation. I sug-gest personally, to consider the employment of Mr. Svejk as the matter of diversity andCorporate Social Responsibility. After all, we declare daily to the world, how is the teamdiversity important... so maybe the simple nature of Mr. Svejk could be even beneficial forus. Instead of complicated thinking, he could in fact help us with some riddles, just by provi-ding an alternative point of view.

The remaining problem is his possible connection with the Military Counterintelligencestructures, with an unknown depth. There is a courageous and even silly theory, that the localsecurity forces could be trying to infiltrate our corporation by the most advanced means, butnot sending some highly-educated and skilled operators with university backgrounds, like inthe past, but exactly the contrary, very simple and inconspicuos persons, which obviouslyexclude the possibility of any connection with the Intelligence community, and there isanother crucial advantage, that only them could be able to surpass our advanced internal de-fence measures to prevent any attempts of corporate espionage, including the lie detector andPSY means.

We think, that this substantial change in the overall infiltration strategy should not be unde-restimated. We face many security challenges daily, and this approach of the opposite sidecould be completely new, and that means risky. So I suggest to study it, and to invent some


suitable countermeasures for any such future attempts. Security is always important, people,you know that well, and we have to be attentive to any new developments, like this one.

In conclusion, we decided to admit Mr. Josef Svejk to the interview in our company, and wewill send our best HR assets to sustain any challenge, which could arise during this negoti-ation. All key personnel in our Prague branch are on full alert and we will deal with thissituation with full attention to all possible consequences and scenarios."

"And what position do you want to offer to this questionable applicant, Mr. Director? I thinkthat his low professional qualities and zero education completely exclude him from placing inour Global Business Development department, as he suggests totally impertinently!"

"Considering his special background and possible unknown connections, we will provide so-mething special for him, to keep him far away from our internal business secrets. So staycalm, people - he won´t get close to our precious data, and the accounting department will becompletely off limits for him. Any direct intervention of this fool could be fateful for anycorporation..."

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"Welcome, Mr. Svejk. It´s so nice to meet you in person," the female HR assistant of McKin-ley smiled at Josef Svejk, who came to the interview dressed in a horribly unfitting vintagesuit from 1996, when he attended the local ball in his home quarter, Prague-Liben, but ofcourse, he spent the whole event at the bar with his buddies, and no present woman coulddream about a single romantic dance with this locally famous figure.

The women, attending the ball, full of desire for an unforgettable romance he could provideto them, they tried hard, using all female means and tricks, but Svejk resisted forcibly to anyattempts, that he can´t allow his drink to "lose freshness".

"Pleasure is mine, madam," Svejk smiled with his round face, with stuffed cheeks and softblue eyes, which really didn´t resemble an alleged Special Forces operator, as he declaredabout himself in the CV.

"So, Mr. Svejk - you have very interesting resume. We are really glad to meet you here, be-cause we are completely persuaded by your wide experience and varied work history, thatyou can be a real asset for our worldwide business operations," the HR assistant flattered.

"Your good feeling about me is absolutely right," Svejk confirmed with exaggerated pride. "Ithink that I can be a real blessing for your business success. And I can prove it to you veryeasily. Just ask me any question, and I know all the answers. Nothing can catch me off myeternal intellectual guard!

And how nice office you have! I really like it here, fresh flowers everywhere, a water founta-in in the lobby, everybody happy and smiling at me, very good atmosphere... I belong here, Ifeel it! I knew that from the start, and now, it is becoming the reality! You have to trust your-self, and to trust your company!


You know, madam, long time ago, I had a really bad attitude about my professional career. Iwas always blaming the world that it keeps me down, and I can´t show my real abilities, that Idon´t get a right opportunity, because less qualified people steal them all from me. But youknow what? Later, when I was more wise and mature, I realized, that not the world, but memyself is the element that keeps my down, in the undesirable position of a life loser! But inthat happy moment, I understood the importance of positive thinking, and then, I started toplan my new big career, to start over, somewhere, where I will be satisfied, and my superiorswill be glad to have ME in their star team!"

"That is so nice determination, Mr. Svejk! But listen, let´s move forward with the interview.We really have some questions to ask, you know the drill..."

"I am at your service, madam, and you have my full attention! I am here, I am present, and Iam only yours. So, say it now!"

"OK. So, you state in your resume, that you participated in some important special militaryoperation and you succeeded in saving some high values of the state. But we couldn´t findany record of your official integration in the Military structures. Can you please explain thisslight contradiction to us, please?"

"The answer is simple, madam! If anyone says the magic word "special" in the security andmilitary environment, it´s an euphemism for "covert", "classified" and "secret". So you can´tcount with some official documents to support your claims. Moreover, the Military instructedme right in the beginning of our mutual cooperation with highly satisfying results, that theywill organize this special operation with that famous Plausible Deniability approach, so theycoldly declare today, that they don´t know you and they never met you, even if you were theirbest friend and colleague yesterday. Those are the basic rules of this special kind of work, Iam afraid. And I, as a loyal servant of the state, fully respect them. So you can either believeme, or not."

"You also declare, that you are almost a highly decorated SPECOPS operative. Please, canyou explain, what that word almost mean? Excuse me, these military matters are strange tome, but I would say, that a man or woman is either decorated, or not decorated, and nothingcan exist between these two possibilities..."

"The sad truth is," Svejk replied with a tear in his honest eye,"that the same principle pre-vented me from getting the well deserved medal. The high military command indicated, thatthey can´t afford to decorate me, because they would have their name heavily damaged, be-cause I am known as a person of a little questionable reputation, and it would put a shadowon our famous and great Military, if it would officially recognize an alleged fool and diligentdrinker like me.

But let me assure you, that those are only envious slanders and groundless rumors, not truth-ful at all! I visit pubs sometimes, yes, but only to do some professional networking and tomeet new good people, who can be useful for my future career! Of course, that I can´t sit the-re with a glass of water, I would exclude myself from their good companionship... but I justdo everything necessary to improve my soft skills, including the strictly limited consumationof some liquid refreshment!"


"Speaking of your career, Mr. Svejk... what is your qualification, actually? You wrote in yourCV, that you are in fact a salesman of electronic appliances, so I am astonished, what makesyou think, that the Global Business Development department is the right professional desti-nation for you?"

"Well, madam," Svejk was suddenly happy and he shined, "the sales business is the sameeverywhere. No matter if you sell shoes or ideas, if you are a good saleswoman, you will besuccessful everywhere! It´s just about persuading people to buy, and I can make it perfectly.Believe me, that I could sell a refridgerator to a family living in the Antarctica, but not onlythat! They would yet thank me for offering them a perfect solution to solve their needs, so ourmutual business relationships will grow and they will be stable and lasting, so the customerswill come next year to me again, to buy a new, improved model of refridgerator, with an in-tegrated lemonade maker and a digital clock!"

"That is a courageous statement, Mr. Svejk! Could you prove your selling skills, please?"

"Of course, with pleasure," Svejk stood happily, and took a pen with the company logo fromthe table.

"My dear customers," Svejk started his presentation with smile and optimism in his voice,"this unique device allows you to write down all your best thoughts, so you can improve yourown personality, just by realizing, how good and talented you are.

We all have to respect ourselves, but thoughts come and disappear so fast from our minds...but this perfect device can save your best ideas, so tomorrow, you can use them for your self-improvement and also for developing your next career!

For example, have you ever dreamed of being a famous writer, or a screenplay author, be-loved in the Hollywood? With our special product, the way to your success is open widely!Can you feel, how close is the opportunity, which can change your life?

Start now, start building your personal brand and your life artistic creation, and I assure you,that in several months, you can be a king or a queen in your professional branch! And re-member, the filling of this beautiful and carefully made device will last for one full year, soyou will have enough time to make the best version of youself, to create what you werealways intended to be... just by daily use of our magic equipment!

You are a very lucky person to be here, during this special promotion, because only today, weoffer a special conditions to procure this piece of art! We like to help people, so we are gladto share our best inventions with the public! Believe me, our best engineers worked days andnights just to bring you the best support tool for your personal success!

The demand for this dreamy device is so high, that we had to hire a new large industrial plantto manufacture more, so more souls can be filled with happiness, but listen, your are special,so we now offer you a special conditions, how to obtain the Device yourself, and make allyour wildest dreams come true! Hey, you could even meet a fateful love as a famous writer!


The price is rigid, one hundred dollars, and I can´t provide you any discount, because I don´toffer you a cheap stuff! But listen, just for today, I will add a luxurious gift wrapping free, soyou can make another person happy, who means so much for you! I am telling you, showthem your love, and make it today, because life is too short to hesitate! Our destiny here inlife is love, and we would live uselessly just for ourselves! No, our mission is to connect oursoul with another human being, and then you will find a treasure you were dreaming of solong!

For one hundred dollars, it´s in fact free, and I will not discuss it further! Remember, youshould invest only in the things and values that matter. And does love matter? What do yousay? YES, it matters the most, more than some cars or houses... live in the present momentand make someone happy, improve his or her life now!

Will you pay in cash or by a credit card, madam?" Svejk finished and handed the pen back tothe HR assistant.

She barely breathed after this magnificent show. "Mr. Svejk, your unique performance per-suaded us completely! With the immediate validity, we are nominating you as a salesman inour corporate canteen. By selling healthy salads instead of unhealthy junk food, by persua-ding our personnel to make the right choice for lunch, you can make our employees to bemore capable in work, directly improving the overall financial results of our famous compa-ny! Your famous family and our corporation must connect together, to achieve manymarvellous things! So, what do you say? I am sure, that you will say YES, and we will beco-me colleagues!"

"Count me in," Svejk said without any hesitation. "I will start with selling salads, but waitsome time, and I will personally manage the Global Business Development department,nothing can stop me! Start cleaning a chair and a big table for me there! I want a corner officewith the clear view to the Prague Castle, because one day, I will go there to fetch the medalfor my Grandpa, a gallant soldier and a capable accountant! And I share this talent with him,so I am glad that you are giving me this life chance! Let´s start now, there is no time to waste,we are losing money by talking!

Where is that famous canteen of yours? I am heading there immediately, to study the businessoperations there, and I will start improving them at once, so your corporate treasures willgrow, and you can raise my salary soon, and promote me higher..."

Wouldn´t any corporation worldwide love an employee like this?

© Alan Svejk 2014. Consultant in VIP Affairs | Public Relations | Copywriter | Journalist | Author. www.svejk-alan.cz



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Svejk Goes To McKinley Corporation by Alan Svejk