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Was It Something I Said? Duncan Nisbet @DuncNisbet

Was It Something I Said?

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Page 1: Was It Something I Said?

Was It Something I

Said?

Duncan Nisbet

@DuncNisbet

Page 2: Was It Something I Said?

Ingredients Of An

Interaction

Virginia Satir

Page 3: Was It Something I Said?
Page 4: Was It Something I Said?

Why

found in

wasn’tthat

test?

bug

Page 5: Was It Something I Said?

“Why wasn’t that bug

found in test?”

I was getting the blame for

a bug found in production

I felt the blame was

unjustified so I was angry

I said “We couldn’t have

found that bug in test”

Page 6: Was It Something I Said?

Intake“Why wasn’t that

bug found in test?”

I heard […] is that

what you said?

Page 7: Was It Something I Said?

We interpret the

wrong message

Meaning

My interpretation is […]

that what you meant?

Page 8: Was It Something I Said?

Baggage

Is my anger

justified?

Significance

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We are not OK with

our feelings

Check feelings

before responding

Response

Page 10: Was It Something I Said?

“Why wasn’t that bug

found in test?”

I was getting the blame for

a bug found in production

I know more about testing

now

“Why did you put that bug

in the code?”

Page 11: Was It Something I Said?

• Ask questions to

improve your

assumptions

• 3 interpretations

• Debugging here is

tough

• Don’t respond if not

OK with feelings

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An example for you to take away…

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Done

Finished Fini

Terminado

The End

Page 14: Was It Something I Said?

Resources

• ieee-stc.org/proceedings/2008/pdfs/JB1978b.pdf

• stevenmsmith.com/AONW/Satir%20Interaction%20Model.pdf

• dhemery.com/articles/untangling_communication/

• Practical Tools For Playing Well With Others : https://vimeo.com/78917211

• The Satir Model - Family Therapy & Beyond (book)

• Managing Yourself & Others - Weinberg (book)

• Becoming a Technical Leader - Weinberg (book)