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INCULCATING GOOD BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN PARENTS’ ROLE 2nd April, 2016 By (Mrs.) I.P. Bhatia

Parents' role in inculcating good behaviour 2016

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INCULCATING GOOD

BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN

PARENTS’ ROLE2nd April, 2016

By (Mrs.) I.P. Bhatia

Parents’ Role in Inculcating Good Behaviour

• Parents are the child’s first and mostimportant teacher. Every day you’re helpingyour child learn new information, skills andways of behaving.

• There are several ways you can help childrenlearn everything from basic self-care to morecomplicated social skills.

Hug Your Child

• First thing in the morning – Hug your child.

• Well hugged babies are less stressed as adults.

• Hugging enhances immune system

• The best way to keep a strong bond with yourchildren.

Praise and Encouragement

• Praise your child for his strengths. Children have theirown unique set of strengths. Try to appreciate yourchild’s good points.

• Praise effort as well as achievement. Recognise andpraise how hard your child is trying – for example, ‘Youhave used so many colours in your painting’ or ‘Iappreciate the way you organised the shelf’.

Give Your Child a Special Cuddle

• Children who had been brought up by theirfamily and sat on laps of their mothers, theirOxytocin (love hormones) levels rose whichplays key role in developing social skills.

Surprise Your Child with a Reward for Good Behaviour

• ‘Thanks for picking up the toys – let’s goto the park to celebrate’ or Thank you forremembering to hang your coat on thepeg’. You can choose what we have fordessert’.

Get Down To Your Child’s Level

• Kneeling or squatting down next to children is a verypowerful tool for communicating positively with them.Getting close allows you to tune in to what they mightbe feeling or thinking.

• It also helps them focus on what you are saying orasking for. If you are close to your child and have hisattention, there is no need to make him look at you.

Active Listening

• Active listening is another tool for helpingchildren cope with their emotions. They tend toget frustrated a lot, especially if theycan’t express themselves well enough verbally.It also makes them feel respected and comforted.

Keep Promises

• Stick to agreements. When you follow throughon your promises, good or bad, your childlearns to trust and respect you. So when youpromise to go for a walk after she picks up hertoys, make sure you have your walking shoeshandy.

Think Twice Before Using ‘No’ or ‘Stop’

• Before you get involved in anything your childis doing – especially to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ – askyourself if it really matters. Rules areimportant, but use them only when it’s reallyimportant.

‘No’ Means ‘NO’, Not May Be

• Don’t say No unless you mean it. If you say‘no’ and then give in, children will whine evenmore the next time.

Give Clear, Simple & Positive Instructions

• Give clear instructions in simple terms, your child will knowwhat is expected of him.

• Use your child’s name and encourage your child to look atyou while you speak.

• Use a clear, calm voice.• Stating things in a positive way gets their heads thinking in

the right direction. For example, ‘Please shut the gate’ isbetter than ‘Don't leave the gate open’.

Playing Games and Having Fun• Playing games and having fun with your child canhelp your child feel happier, be more relaxed andbuild resilience.

• Sharing special time can be great for you too – it’syour chance to be a kid again and have fun.

• Sharing happy experiences helps to build yourrelationship with your child.

Descriptive Praise• Descriptive praise is when you tell your child exactlywhat it is that you like. For example, ‘I love the way youshared your Pizza with your brother just now’, ‘I like theway you’ve organised your room’ or ‘I love the pictureyou drew.’

• Describing what you like is much more genuine andconvincing than vague praise such as ‘You’re a goodboy/girl’

Teaching Skills Step By Step

• When your child first tries, he mightnot get it right. But with practice,he’ll get closer to what you want –and you can help by shaping whathe does.

Celebrate Festivals and Family Rituals

• Helps strengthen your family’s values &pass these values on to your children.Rituals also teach children skills like howto interact with others. All theseactivities help in building family ties.

Establish Some Routines

• Routines can help your child feel safe and secure,particularly when new things are happening. Youcould set up a routine for mornings – for example,get up, , clean teeth, get dressed, have breakfast,pack lunchbox and go. You could even make achart with pictures showing the different steps inyour routine.

Develop Habits - Saying Morning Wish and Goodbye

• Say goodbye to your child so that sheknows you’re going. You could choose aspecial place and way to say goodbye,or an activity to do before you go.

GoodbyeGood

Morning

Celebrate Your Child’s Achievements

• Joining a new school, new environment,meeting new people, and learning new waysof doing things are big achievements for yourchild. You can build your child’s confidence andsense of competence when you celebratethese.

Maintain a Sense of Humour

• Another way of diffusing tension and possible conflictis to use humour and fun. You can pretend to becomethe menacing tickle monster or make animal noises.

• But humour at your child’s expense won't help.Young children are easily hurt by parental ‘teasing’.Humour that helps you both laugh is great.

Children Do As You Do

• Parents are role models. Your child watches you to getclues on how to behave in the world, so use your ownbehaviour to guide him/her. What you do is often muchmore important than what you say.

• If you want your child to say ‘please’, say it yourself. Ifyou don’t want your child to raise her voice, speakquietly and gently yourself.

Catch Her Being ‘Good’

• This simply means that when your child isbehaving in a way you like, you can give hersome positive feedback. For example, ‘Wow,you are playing so nicely. I really like theway you are keeping all the blocks on thetable’.

Encouraging Child To Tell Truth

• You can do this by emphasising the importanceof honesty in your family and praising yourchild for honesty – even if it sometimes takesyou a while to get it. You can also sendmessages about honesty by telling your childthat you don’t like it when he/she lies to you.

Bedtime Stories & Chat• Bedtime stories and chats help relax and refresh children.

The routine of stories and chats is very calming for childrenwhen they are lying in their cozy, warm beds with theirparents.

• The rich language found in stories helps children to developtheir own speaking skills. Vocabulary is also built.

• You will never forget the feelings of intimacy youexperience and neither will your children.