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"What Has Changed? Black andMinority Ethnic Levels of
Satisfaction With theMetripolitan Police ServiceSince the London Riots."
by Herval Almenoar-Webster
FILE
TIME SUBMITTED 14-SEP-2015 02:35PM
SUBMISSION ID 46786025
WORD COUNT 11520
CHARACTER COUNT 62056
FINAL_DISSY_M.DOCX (170.08K)
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FINAL GRADE
75/100
"What Has Changed? Black and Minority Ethnic Levels ofSatisfaction With the Metripolitan Police Service Since theLondon Riots."GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
InstructorThis is an excellent dissertation that is written toa very high standard and rigorously thoughtthrough, where you have included a clearintroduction that lets the reader know exactly andstrategically what you intended to arguethroughout.
Your usage of your primary sources is balancedby the secondary sources you have marshaled tobolster your claims regarding the relationshipbetween the MPS and the BME communities innot just Tottenham, your f ield site, but alsospeaks to broader concerns in the wider publicarena.
You need to do minor work on your transit ionsas they had a tendency (see main body) tocontinue the above argument, but this did in noway detract f rom what is a f irst class ef f ort.
First marker - WH
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Ex introExcellent introduction.
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Weak TransitionWeak paragraph transit ion:Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearlydemonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way yourparagraphs relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraphthat begins with "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transit ion f rom the previous point, eventhough it may develop a highly interesting and related point.
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Weak TransitionWeak paragraph transit ion:Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearlydemonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way yourparagraphs relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraph
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that begins with "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transit ion f rom the previous point, eventhough it may develop a highly interesting and related point.
Good pointGood point.
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Awk.Awkward:The expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewrit ing.
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Sp.Spelling errorAdditional Comment viewed
Good pointGood point.
Sp.Spelling errorAdditional Comment community's
Weak TransitionWeak paragraph transit ion:Although paragraphs are separate, individual steps of your paper, it is important to clearlydemonstrate a logical connection between them. Generally speaking, the way yourparagraphs relate to one another displays how sound your argument really is. A paragraphthat begins with "also" or "in addition" of f ers a weak transit ion f rom the previous point, eventhough it may develop a highly interesting and related point.
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Awk.Awkward:The expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewrit ing.
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Comment 1This is an excellent conclusion to an excellent piece of work that maintains a high level ofrigorous crit ical engagement throughout.
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