THE FOREST PEOPLE

OF THE NORTHEASTERN WOODLANDS

THE FOREST PEOPLE

• Less is known about these peoples than about the bottom of the sea and the surface of the moon combined

• Have lived in conjunction with humans for thousands of years. Their society is a slightly sped up and altered version of our own and has mirrored their evolution closely.

• Secretive, Maybe invisible sometimes?• Small• But still, we know some things about them • Scientists, researchers, ethnologists and ethnographers have been

compiling data and measuring demographics and preferences among this race

• Not completely sure if they are human or otherwise?• Small cache of goods found and presented here

Natural Habitat of the Forest People

Houses of the forest people?• Photograph, Artists Rendering

Seen sometimes by humans then depicted in Hollywood

Forest People in History:• For years they left decoys as clever

reminders of their existence (Main Figural Art Form)

Also, can serve as grave markers or status symbols

Decoys seen in many places:

Become more futuristic and integrated into human society

They are pictured in some human stories

In some art

In other stories:

Sworn enemies

Hairless Mole-Rat

Ubiquitious iPad Usage

2% of the Population Reportedly addicted to Crack Cocaine

Utilize human pylons to communicate

Main Monotheistic Sect: Deities unclear but popular and immensely profitable

Lifechurch.TV brings in 2.8 billion annually

That’s 22.3% up from last quarter

Lifechurch.tv viewing station (pay-per-minute) incorporated seamlessly into the Forest Peoples habitat

Huge Solar Powered LifeChurch Center

Environmentally friendly

Popular shoes

LifeChurch.TV endorsed

Best Forest People reviewed Yelp Restaurant: Furr’s Fresh Buffett

Lifechurch/Furr join in yearly Celebration of the PorkenFest

Commences with the Spending of the Pork Barrel

Involves mandatory ceremonial drinking of Liquid Pork to insure explusion of enemies

Popular Liquid Pork Beverage

Central Pylon (Pylon of Life)

Duluth, Minnesota

Recovered Advertisements

Crude humor

Native American Spirits are highly important to the

people of the Forest

Corporate/Theocratic Merger between Apple and Islam emerging superpower

Forest People iMosque, Abu Dhabi

Forest People iMosque, San Ferdino Valley, CA

Apple-Islamism Holy Structure

Forest Whitaker, acting Human ambassador

Forest People attempted to Copyright the Yoga Mat

Struck down in the Florida Fourth District Court of Appeal by a 10-2 ruling

Other lawsuits include Naked Class action lawsuit

Best Selling Video Game

Crude Human Automator IV: Jungle Kingdom Exodus, Screen Capture

Memes popular with Forest People

Best Selling author Reagan Rothe

Misanthropy: The Cellar Door

Reagan Rothe

Will not drink, but will smoke alcohol

Vaportini

Symbols of Atavistic Significance

Human Impersonators Exist

Kupo_Queen on Deviant Art

Thanks to Eric, Pam for Field Research