THE

A TO Z GUIDE

FOR BUILDING A

STRONG PERSONAL

FOUNDATION

© M a r q u i t a H e r a l d E m o t i o n a l l y R e s i l i e n t L i v i n g

“Life doesn’t get easier and more

forgiving, we become stronger and

more resilient.”

Just as a building needs a sturdy foundation

to support the structure, you need a solid

foundation to support your life.

Personal foundations will naturally vary depending

on your circumstances. But they will always include

core values, beliefs and highest life priorities

supported by standards and behaviors that keep

you strong, focused and effective.

A – AIM TO BE BETTER THAN YOU WERE

Goals are a wonderful way to focus on specific

outcomes but just for a moment consider this. What IF

every day you were to strive to achieve one thing – to be

better than you were yesterday.

Imagine how your life would change for the better if you

mindfully followed that intention with everything you do

for 365 days!

“Don’t try to be perfect, just commit to being

better than you were yesterday. Better thoughts,

better decisions, better actions.”

B – BUILD HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Healthy boundaries are based on respect, core values,

and your highest priorities and are dependent upon your

willingness to commit to standards for the behaviors

and circumstances that are acceptable in your life.

They protect you from abuse and pave the way for you

to achieve a more balanced life with happy, fulfilling

relationships and true intimacy.

C – CREATE DAILY RITUALS

Rituals are the backbone of your personal standards,

and your standards affect virtually every area of your

life. Small daily rituals keep you focused on the things

that matter most to you, and help you to stay motivated

as you build momentum toward achieving your goals.

D – DEVELOP COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF

AND OTHERS

Just to be clear, compassion is not is pity. Pity is

looking down and feeling sorry for the suffering of

another and then moving on. Compassion is

concerned with the alleviation of suffering – our

own and that of others. Compassion is intentional

and can be cultivated and strengthened by

expressing acts of kindness, caring, and support

that relieve the suffering of others as well as

ourselves.

“When we give ourselves compassion,

we are opening our hearts in a way that

can transform our lives.”

E – ELIMINATE ENVIRONMENTAL TRIGGERS

You may not have given much thought to it, but you are

highly susceptible to environmental triggers. For

example, the way you relate to certain colors or sounds,

physical and emotional clutter, stress, demanding

relationships … and even words.

Imagine spending time with someone who regularly uses

words like: down, depressed, pointless, hurt, painful,

despair, stupid, bad, tired, fed up, sad, nauseous, sick, ill,

disappointed and so on.

In time, this person will have built up an “environment of

words” around you, to which you will begin to respond as

surely as if the feelings expressed were your own.

Begin to pay attention to and actively manage your

environment and you’ll be amazed at what a difference it

can make to your mood and energy level!

F – FOCUS

It’s important, it works. And it’s not easy. We try to do too

much, only to become distracted by the things (and

people) yelling the loudest for our attention, and then end

up wondering where the day went.

The only way to achieve your desired results is to clear

out the mental and physical clutter and focus your power on the things and people that really matter.

“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly

want in life is that we never direct our focus; we

never concentrate our power. Most people dabble

their way through life never deciding to master

anything in particular.”

G – GET RID OF TOLERATIONS

What have you been tolerating in your life? Whether

negative, unsupportive or toxic people, issues with your

physical environment, health, finances, work, or self-care,

make a list and begin removing them immediately.

Tolerations can be like human black holes pulling you in

further and further, sucking the energy right out of you.

H – HAVE A PURPOSE LARGER THAN SELF

A clearly defined purpose is the key to achieving life

goals, finding greater happiness and fulfillment and

having the ability to avoid discouragement and overwhelm

when faced with a problem or hardship.

Don’t make the common mistake of holding out for a

purpose “worthy” enough to impress others. You are the

only one who can give meaning to your life.

I – IMAGINE THERE ARE NO LIMITS

Imagine you have all the time, talents and resources to

achieve your goals and dreams. Sounds like a cliché,

but self-limiting beliefs can stop you in your tracks unless

you muster the courage to stand up to them. Here’s a

mantra for you … Courage Over Comfort!

J – JOURNEYS WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE

THE DESTINATION

Yes, we can learn many things on our journeys, but the

journey can actually become a deterrent to your growth

when the destination becomes an after thought.

The Zen of the journey philosophy may be great for the

ego, but wandering through life without ever achieving a

goal leaves you with no successes and deprives you of

the satisfaction and joy that comes with actually

crossing the finish line.

K – KEEP SMILING

It’s easy to be happy when things are going well, but

sometimes we hit a rough patch when no matter how

hard we try it feels like we’re never going to get back to

our “happy place” again.

People who are able to smile, rain or shine, have learned

that happiness is always a choice. The amazing thing is

that when we make that choice we free ourselves from

the extreme highs and lows of life. We experience greater

inner peace, and luck seems to be on our side. But even

when things don't work out, we are able to make the most

of our experiences and find opportunities for growth,

knowing that no matter what happens, we will be okay!

“Most people are about as happy as they

make up their mind to be.”

L – LIVE YOUR TRUTH

To identify and embrace your personal truth is one of the

most important things you'll ever do in this life, and one of

the most challenging.

Your true self is hidden beneath your labels (mother,

father, worker or boss), and the stories you tell to yourself

and others about who you are, where you come from and

where you are going.

It is the storehouse for your core beliefs, values and

deepest held hopes and fears, and it is a place most will

never have the courage to go.

Learning to live your truth isn’t about changing or “fixing”

you, it’s freeing you to be the confident, powerful person

you were meant to be, and living in a way that honors

your most fundamental values and highest life priorities.

M – MAKE SELF CARE A PRIORITY

What does “self-care” mean to you? Maybe taking a nap,

meditating, or treating yourself to a bubble bath?

All worthwhile activities, but reflect little of the full nature

of practical and emotional self-care such as managing

your time and energy, healthy boundaries, exercise and

nutrition and learning to understand and manage your

emotions.

One of the best gifts you could give yourself for the New

Year would be to take the time to create a personal self-

care plan for your long-term health and well-being.

“Your relationship with your body is one of the most

important relationships you’ll ever have. And since

repairs are expensive and spare parts are hard to come

by, it pays to make that relationship good.”

N – NEVER LET FEAR STOP YOU!

Most achieve a fraction of what they’re capable of

because of fear. Is there one thing you have avoided

because you’re afraid to try? Imagine what it would do for

your self-confidence to overcome this fear once and for

all!

O – OWN YOUR LIFE

The only way to truly own your life is to take full

responsibility for it. Admittedly this may be difficult for

some people to accept. After all, it does somewhat bump

up against the reality that there are things that we have

no control over.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that you do have control

over your thoughts, attitudes, reactions, feelings and

beliefs. And think about this, when you take responsibility

for everything in your life; you have the power to change

anything about your life.

P – POSITIVE THINKING WORKS

A positive mindset isn’t about looking at the world

through rose colored glasses, assuming things will

always work out, because sometimes things don’t. It

will however help you to stay confident, motivated and

open to possibilities for growth in ALL your experiences.

Q – QUIT EXPECTING PEOPLE TO READ

YOUR MIND

Develop your communication skills so you can

effectively communicate your desires rather than

expecting others to read your mind. They could guess

of course, but chances are they’ll be wrong most of the

time and then you’ll be frustrated and unhappy. When

you have the skills and courage to ask for what you

want and need, nobody will have to guess anymore.

R – RESILIENCE IS ABOUT MUCH MORE

THAN RECOVERY

Ask anyone about resilience and chances are they’ll say

it’s about “bouncing back” from a crisis. So you may be

surprised to learn that resilience is as much about

prevention and growth as recovery.

After six decades of ongoing research we now know

that highly resilient people tend to be healthier and live

longer, are more successful in school and work, are

happier in relationships and are less prone to

depression … and whether you realize it or not, you

have the power and ability to increase your capacity for

resilience and tap into this reserve every single day.

“The only difference between stumbling blocks

and stepping stones is the way in which we

choose to use them.”

S –STEP UP TO HIGHER STANDARDS

To achieve meaningful growth in any area of your life

you must raise your standards. We all have them, we

just aren’t always aware of them. Some we inherit from

family, others are the result of society’s norms drilled

home by the media. Often standards are driven by our

need to be accepted by others. Regardless of the

source, it’s well within your power to use them to

change or improve the quality of your life!

T –TRUST AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

The person you most need to trust and believe in is

yourself. No one can always be there to say the things

you need to hear when you need to hear them, or be as

consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be.

Having faith in yourself increases confidence, lessens

your need for approval and frees you to deepen your

connection with others.

U – UNLEASH THE POWER OF A PERSONAL

SUPPORT SYSTEM

An often overlooked building block in developing

emotional resilience is the ability to develop and

manage a personal support system. This is simply a

network of personal and professional relationships with

people who are willing and able to provide you with

practical or emotional support.

There is no one size-fits-all formula for a support

system because the nature of it will depend on your

circumstances and stage in life.

While there are many benefits to developing a support

system the most basic is simple peace of mind. No one

has all the answers, so knowing that when you find

yourself up against an obstacle there are people you

have a trusting relationship with available to lend a hand

can go a long way toward helping you confidently push

through any problem you may be facing.

V – VALUES ARE YOUR COMPASS

Your values reflect how you show up in life, specific

needs and principles you live by. They influence your

decisions, relationships, work … everything. Having a

good understanding of your values will help you gain

clarity and focus so you can make choices aligned with

who you are now and who you want to become.

W – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Too much of life is spent waiting. Waiting for the right

circumstances, for the right people, for signs that we’re

on the right path, for permission to do, be and have

what we want in life. Whatever it is you are waiting for

it’s time to name it, claim it, and own it. No one is ever

going to swoop in and declare “Yes, I officially give you

permission to (fill in the blank). Go now, be happy and

live the life of your dreams!”

X – X MARKS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR

GROWTH

Never stop growing! When you come across

something you don’t understand, rather than just

letting it go, X Mark that spot, word, thought or skill

and make a point of increasing your knowledge and

awareness by finding out about it.

Y – YOU CREATE YOUR REALITY

Unhappy people focus on what they don’t have, don’t

want and all that is wrong with the world in general

and themselves in particular.

You don’t have to allow self-limiting beliefs to restrict

your potential. Just because you think something,

doesn’t make it true. The good news is, you can learn

to change how you think. You can alter your

perception and change your life for the better.

Z – ZERO IN ON THE LIFE YOU WANT TO

CREATE FOR YOURSELF AND GO FOR

IT!!!

“This life is yours. Take the power to choose

what you want to do and do it well. take the

power to love what you want in life and love

it honestly. take the power to control your life.

no one else can do it for you. take the power to

make your life happy.”

Celebrate the day on which you embrace the power you have to create your own life experience.

It is an amazing journey and you alone will be responsible for the quality of it.

For more content like this visit

Emotionally Resilient Living @ www.emotionallyresilientliving.com

Marquita Herald Author, Publisher, Owner and Chief Resilient Living Evangelist