Policing or

Parenting?

How Social Media Surveillance Has Changed

Parenting As We Know ItPhoto: Matt Popovich 2016 via Unsplash By Charlotte

Smith

It’s no secret that the Digital Age is changing our lives. In 2015 it was found that:

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-68% of U.S. adults owned a smartphone [1] -45% of U.S. adults own a tablet [1] -Facebook had more than 1.4 billion users [2] -65% of those were daily users [2]

And adults aren’t the only ones.

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-92% of teens report going online daily [3]-24% report going online “constantly” [3]-Nearly ¾ of teens have or have access to a smartphone [3]-Facebook had 9.8 million users aged 13-17 in 2014 [4]-75% of teens aged 13-17 have at least one social media account [8] So much of life is now

spent online, so how do parents cope?

Some parents are diving in headfirst:“Children leave a digital trail, and you feel like a negligent parent if you're not monitoring.” [5]

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While others are more hesitant:“All the boundaries have broken down. Facebook is constantly sending alerts of what they're up to: liking and commenting and posting and sharing, like squirrels pecking away. But when their mothers are reading, it's way too much information.” [5]

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Photo: Carlos Martinez, 2014 via Unsplash

Schools have begun to realize the demand for programs that help parents understand and adapt to their children’s digital lives.

MediaSmarts, a Canadian digital literacy organization, is one of many that work in co-operation with schools across the country to deliver social media workshops to both students and their parents. “We believe that active parental

involvement is essential to raising ‘media smart’ children and teens.” [7]

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Some companies have begun to see the possibility in parents’ struggle with technology: companies such as Uknow and Webroot Software Inc. provide tools for parents to monitor and control their children’s online activities.

These tools include:

GPS tracking

Scanning the web for more

profiles

Reviewing any/all posts,

captions, comments, replies, etc.

Info on when their phone is being used

Viewing what sites they visit

Flagging risky posts, people, activities

Translating slang and text-lingo

[9]

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Many experts warn, however, that this Big Brother stance can often cause children and their parents to experience

a D I V I D E ‘Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at

Common Sense Media, says parents need to recognize that kids "believe that their phones are sacred and private." To her, parents who try to intrude on that are setting up a "parent versus kid situation, even for good kids who are not doing anything wrong.“’ [10]

The Issues

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The Breakdown of Privacy

Where once, years ago, children’s private lives would be left on the streets, they are now in their hands. This accessibility is enticing to many parents, but is problematic.

Jen Nessel, a communications coordinator for The Center for Constitutional Rights in New York says, "I think we're in a very different world now where it is possible to surveil our children constantly, which doesn't mean that we should. There's ways in which we want to keep our children safe, of course, but at the same time we have to respect them as whole human beings who deserve privacy.“ [10]

Just as parents may hold secrets from their children, so too may children.

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‘Most parents recognize the hypocrisy in their roving curiosity. ''When I was a 15-year-old seminarian in Chicago, I was sneaking into gay bars, which were not nice places back then,'' Mr. Savage said. ''If I'd had that on my Instagram and e-mails, my parents would have murdered me.'‘’ [5]

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The Trust FactorTrust between children and their parents is massively important. Without trust no truthful or meaningful dialogue can happen, and relationships can fall apart. Children need to know their parents trust them in order to return the favour.

Constantly monitoring and digging through your child’s

online life can come across as untrusting and underhanded, no

matter the good intentions.

When Jen ‘Nessel's mom was a girl, she'd been horrified that her mother insisted on reading her diary; "She was very clear she would never do that with me and I would never do that with my child either," Nessel recalled.’ [10]

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Photo: Jacob Walti, 2014 via Unsplash

Self

RegulationA huge part of growing up is learning balance. Balancing work and play, family and friends, relationship and responsibility. And these are things that have to be taught through experience.

So how do kids learn balance online if they are not left to experience it themselves?

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“kids need to be free to make their own mistakes”[10]

The Expert Advice

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Caroline Knorr ‘urges parents to discuss boundaries and appropriate online behavior with their children and to "parent around the device" by "doling out features sparingly" when the phone is new. She suggests opening up more features as the child demonstrates the ability to "follow the rules and meet expectations and understand consequences.”’ [10]

In Conclusion

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“The concept of online privacy is a difficult one — even governments are still debating it and trying to pin it down, and it’s no different when it’s in the home.” [11]

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Growing up is the most difficult thing for both children and their parents. For kids, it is a whole realm of possibilities that steadily draws back the curtain on their adulthood, and for their parents it is the loss of the innocent and youthful joy that their children carried with them. Understanding how to both encourage and escort them through their transition is, as it always has been, a difficult balance. The digital age has made the issue more complex, and walking the fine line between parent and police will be a precarious position for all.

But don’t lose your child, in an effort to find

them.

Cited:• [1] Anderson, Monica. "Technology Device Ownership: 2015." Pew Research Center Internet Science Tech RSS. 29 Oct. 2015. Web. 01

June 2016.• [2] "Facebook Passes 1.44B Monthly Active Users and 1.25B Mobile Users; 65% Are Now Daily users." VentureBeat. 22 Apr. 2015.

Web. 01 June 2016.• [3] Lenhart, Amanda. "Teens, Social Media & Technology Overview 2015." Pew Research Center Internet Science Tech RSS. 09 Apr.

2015. Web. 01 June 2016.• [4] "Company Info | Facebook Newsroom." Facebook Newsroom. Web. 01 June 2016.• [5] Paul, Pamela. "Cyberparenting and the Risk of T.M.I." New York Times 5 May 2013: 8(L). Academic OneFile. Web. 3 June 2016.• [6] "Company Profile." About Webroot. Web. 02 June 2016.• [7] "Our Mission & Beliefs." MediaSmarts. Web. 02 June 2016.• [8] "Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View Their Digital Lives | Common Sense Media." Social Media, Social Life: How Teens View

Their Digital Lives | Common Sense Media. 26 June 2012. Web. 02 June 2016.• [9] "Digital Parenting Tools: Social, Location and Mobile Monitoring -." Digital Parenting Tools Social Location and Mobile

Monitoring. Web. 2 June 2016.• [10] Augenbraun, Eliene. "Should Parents Snoop on Their Kids Online?" CBSNews. CBS Interactive, 16 Sept. 2014. Web. 02 June 2016.• [11] Ingram, Mathew. "Snooping on Your Kids: If the NSA’s Tools Were Available, I Probably Would Have Used Them." Gigaom. 07

Aug. 2013. Web. 02 June 2016.