Dating Contract By Leneka Rhoden.

In an effort to get to know each other better, we will agree to abide by this dating contract. Since

handbooks or instructions for life were never provided when we were born, here to, there are no

absolute rules. These suggestions and guidelines are designed for us to determine if we really

want to continue our relationship or move on. Different events, time of year and even the

weather can influence our timing; therefore the following suggestions are in random order. We

will complete as many suggestions as we can and make up more if we feel they would be

appropriate.

THIS AGREEMENT executed on the ____ day of ____, 20__, by and between

Mr. ___________________ and Ms. _______________ is legally binding and enforced by and

in the state of _____________.

Guy and Girl are together if all parties agree to terms and conditions of upon signing the

contract.

SECTION 1: GOING OUT

1.1 Dating. Guy agrees to take Girl on an official date at least ________ time(s) a

month.

1.2 Fine Dining. In the occasion when couple goes out for fine dining, Guy may

take Girl to _____________, Wendy’s , _____________, or ______________

no more than half the time.

1.3 Chivalry is Dead. Girl may not spend more than allotted amount of $_____ on

going out each week. In addition, if girl is all about women’s rights or is a

feminist then she shall pay at least half the time. They asked for equal rights,

they got equal rights.

SECTION 2: SEXUAL TIMELINE

As far as sex is concerned, you both need to do what’s right. If you both want to wait, go ahead

and wait. If you both want to gradually discover intimacy with this person, you should do that. In

the event you want to attack each other and screw your brains out until the sun comes up, lucky

you! As far as sex is concerned, you should be thinking about compatibility here.

2.1 In General. Girl agrees to perform first sexual act on or before ______-months

period of first official date.

2.2 Duties. In addition, Guy shall watch the following movies from start until finish, in

a cuddling position: _______________, The Notebook, _______________, ______________;

2.3 Completion Date. The sexual acts to be performed shall be completed on or

before the ___ day of __________, 20__ unless extended by Guy, in his discretion

(i.e. unfortunate timing of menstrual cycle).

SECTION 3: PROHIBITED

3.1 Services Not Enclosed. Girl shall not, under any circumstances, allow said Guy to

_______________, ___________, ____________, put his _________ in her __________, or

_______. Furthermore,

Guy shall not _____________, __________, ___________ or _________.

SECTION 4: UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES

4.1 Break-Up. In the event of an unforeseen breakup, as in the case of cheating,

erectile dysfunction, and/or _______________, terms shall be met as follows.

4.2 Return of Possessions. Possession of items shall return to their original owner,

with the exclusion of gifts. Guy really wants his_________, favourite shirt, and

_______________.

4.3 Your Secret Bitch! Guy will keep Girl’s secrets and girl will do the same for the guy.

SECTION 5: MISCELLANEOUS

5.1 Pet Names. In the event that said couple wishes to call each other by Pet

Names, they will not do so in public in consideration of single people and the

weak stomached.

5.2 T.o.M. Guy shall always be informed, whether via phone, e-mail, text, or IM at

least one week in advance to the Girl’s Time of the Month (T.o.M). Guys really

hate Tom, he’s an asshole. See clause 2.2 for alternate means of satisfaction.

General Guidelines

This agreement is a tool to communicate, as well as a symbol of your commitment. This contract

is intended to be, and should be thought of as serious and comparable to marriage, including an

exclusive sexual relationship and a promise not to be intimate with another. The signatures on

this agreement are not in any way, shape, or form legally binding including church or

government authority. The signatures only represent our sincere intentions to commit ourselves

to this personal relationship.

Signed______________ Date _________ Signed_______________ Date _________

Listen to my problems. It is important for the person I am dating to listen my problems because

the way I react to and solve them shapes my character and molds me into the individual I will

become. I may not be able to deal with my new stepfather or know how to talk to an aging

parent and I need to vent.

Share your problems with me. Now, just as it is important for the person I am dating to listen to

my problems, it is important for them to share their problems with me. I know I am sexy and

can make you say Ahhh!, but I want to be respected for my mind. Maybe you have just met

your birth father, you have a nagging boss at work, or you’re having a problem I have had to

deal with before. I also want to learn how you plan to address your problems and see how well

you take advice.

Spend time with me. I want to see the person I am dating. I want to see you during the daytime,

not just for DVD and pizza at midnight (that is a bootycall). Couples do everything together

when they get married, so I want to know if we get along and work well together while I am

dating you.

Include me in your activities. When I am dating someone, they are auditioning to be my best

friend, my lover, and my child’s other set of DNA. And, I am auditioning to be theirs. I do not

want them to tell me what they do; I want to join them in doing it. I also want them to see what

I do. No secret activities for me.

Help me if I need it and let me help you. I am not perfect and I will need help in doing the

things that I do. This is more than just problem-sharing; this is more like with chores or tasks. I

hate sitting around watching my wife wash the dishes or assemble a new piece of furniture, so I

jump in and help. I do not want to date someone who just tells me what to do. I want them to

get their elbows dirty helping me doing it. Marriage is a partnership, not a boss/employee

relationship.