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INTERPERSONAL SKILLSCreating and Building Powerful Connections

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Introduction

“Your career success in the workplace of today – independent of technical expertise – depends on the quality of your people skills.”

- Max Messmer, Jr.

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IntroductionThis workshop will help participants work towards being that unforgettable person by providing key communication skills, techniques to influence others, tips on making an impact, and advice on networking and starting conversations.

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Workshop Objectives• How can I improve my ability to listen?• What are some differences between weak and powerful

communicators?• What role does nonverbal communication play in my

effectiveness?• How can I break the ice and start conversations that

lead to meaningful connections?• What interpersonal skills are critical for leading and

working with teams?

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Workshop Objectives• What are behaviors and common mistakes that impact

interpersonal effectiveness and team success?• How can I influence and engage others?• How can I express my opinion and remain respectful?• How can I make a good impression and build my

emotional intelligence?

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Module 1:

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”

- Bernard Baruch

How Can I Improve My

Ability to Listen?

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What Is Listening and Why Is It Important?

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret

messages in the communication

process

Listening helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding,

resolve conflicts and improve accuracy

Without the ability to listen effectively,

messages are easily misunderstood

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Listening and Hearing: They Aren’t The Same Thing

• Hearing is the process of perceiving sounds within our environment.

• Listening involves the extra steps of really understanding what we heard, and giving it deliberate attention and thoughtful consideration.

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Tips For Being an Effective ListenerHere are some ways you can improve your ability to listen:

• Give your full attention to the speaker. Be sure to remove any distractions.

• Let the speaker finish speaking before you respond.• Maintain eye contact with the speaker.

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Tips For Being an Effective ListenerHere are some ways you can improve your ability to listen:

• Empathize with the speaker.• Keep an open mind.• Pretend that there will be a test on what the speaker

is saying.

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Personal ReflectionReflect on a time when listening effectively helped you to solve a problem you were facing. How might the results have been different if you did not listen effectively?

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Module 2:

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.”

- Paul J. Meyer

What Are Some Differences

Between Weak and Powerful

Communicators?

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Characteristics of Powerful Communicators

Powerful communicators:

• Are assertive• Use clear language• Emphasize key ideas• Are confident• Connect with the audience• Are empathetic• Keep an open mind• Are good listeners

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Characteristics of Weak Communicators

Weak communicators:

• Are often misinterpreted• Have trouble managing employees• Mumble their words• Have a closed mind• Don’t listen effectively• Have trouble working with clients

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Why Is Powerful Communication Important?

Communication is not what you meant to say,

but what the listener actually receives

Powerful communication makes life easier, both

inside and outside of the workplace

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Personal Reflection

List the 3 most powerful communicators you have encountered. What was it about each one of these speakers that makes them so effective?

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Module 3:

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Role Does Nonverbal

Communication Play In My Effectiveness?

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Why Is Nonverbal Communication Important?

Communication is not just about what comes out of our mouths. In fact, what we don’t say --- our body language, voice intonation and use of silence --- often sends a louder message to other people than the words we say.

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Types of Body Languages• Eye Contact • Facial Expressions• Posture• Gestures and Movement• Physical Contact• Appearance• Use of Space

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It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

The following are aspects of “how we say things” that we should take note of:

• Tone of Voice• Stress and Emphasis• Pace and Rhythm• Volume• Pronunciation and Enunciation• Pauses and Silence

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Be Aware of the Signals You Send to Others• Increase your awareness of your

body language and how you say things.

• Know how certain behaviors are typically interpreted by others.

• Practice! Practice! Practice!

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Personal ReflectionReflect on a memorable interaction with someone that you made you feel better/worse, and answer the following questions. How did you interpret their nonverbal communications? Did you keep these nonverbal cues in mind throughout the rest of the interaction? Explain.

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Module 4:

“Conversation is the fine art of mutual consideration and communication about matters of common interest that basically have some human importance.”

- Ordway Tead

How Can I Break The Ice and Start

Conversations That Lead To Meaningful

Connections?

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Starting Conversations That Lead to Meaningful Conversations

In this module, we will discuss how to start a conversation, the four levels of communication, as well as how to skillfully ease our conversation starters into deeper levels of talk.

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Keys For Starting a Meaningful Conversation

• Be confident• Know what you have to offer• Create an arsenal of conversation

starters• Be aware of your body language• Know what holds you back• Relax

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The Four Levels of Conversation

Small Talk

Fact Disclosure

Viewpoints and Opinions

Personal Feelings

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Keys For Moving a Conversation Along

• Build a rapport.• Ask open-ended questions.• Repeating certain words, phrases or even statements

that a speaker discloses to you can also maintain the momentum of your talk, or move it into a new direction.

• Ask hypothetical questions.• Using summaries can say that one part of the

conversation is over and that it’s time to move on to another part.

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Personal PracticePractice starting a conversation with a partner. Try to pair up with someone you do not know. Make sure your conversation starter includes a brief introduction of who you are and what you do. Remember, be confident and direct.

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Module 5:

“Unity is strength…where there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved.”

- Mattie Stepanek

What Interpersonal Skills Are Critical For Leading and Working

With Teams?

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Important Skills For Leading Teams

• Be honest• Use clear language• Be an active listener• Be supportive• Use empathy• Be an effective communicator• Respect other members of the team• Be assertive

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Benefits of Practicing Critical Interpersonal Skills For Leading

TeamsPracticing interpersonal skills can assist you when leading a team. Specifically, leaders should practice the following skills:• Create an efficient problem-solving process• Prioritize tasks• Motivate the team• Earn the team’s loyalty• Lead by example• Delegate tasks effectively• Achieve the team’s goals• Give constructive feedback

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Important Skills For Working In Teams

• Have a positive attitude• Be an active listener• Ask the right questions• Respect fellow team members• Be humble• Communicate clearly• Be open to criticism

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Personal ReflectionReflect on a time when you worked on a team. What types of behaviors did your teammates exhibit that made working on a team easier? What types of behaviors did your teammates exhibit that made working on a team more difficult?

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Module 6:

“Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.”

- Brandon Mull

What Are Behaviors and Common

Mistakes That Impact Interpersonal

Effectiveness and Team Success?

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Behaviors That Impact Interpersonal Effectiveness

• Failing to listen to others• Being closed minded• Failing to use clear language when communicating• Being dishonest• Failing to ask questions

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Common Mistakes That Impact Team Success

• Failing to communicate clearly• Relying on existing knowledge• Failing to consult with supervisors• Using authority inappropriately• Failing to cooperate with others• Failing to accept criticism

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Module 7:

“It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives.”

- Clint Eastwood

How Can I Influence and

Engage Others?

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Influence Others

In this module, we will discuss how to improve our influencing skills and persuade people to support our viewpoint. Specifically, we will discuss:

• Seeing the other side• Building a bridge • Aristotle’s modes of persuasion (Ethos, Pathos,

Logos)

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Seeing The Other Side

The first step in influencing other people is entering their world. This means setting aside your own point of view and looking at the situation from another person’s perspective.

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Benefits of Seeing the Other Side

Looking at a problem through another person’s perspective can help you:

• Motivate people• Gain credibility• Understand the needs of others• Build trust• Improve attitudes

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Bridge Building• Bridge building is the process of increasing rapport

and affinity between people.

• Building rapport will help you to gain credibility and influence others.

• It can involve making the other party feel at ease talking to you, gaining their trust, and identifying common interests.

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Ethos, Pathos, and Logos

Ethos

Ethical appeal

Persuading an audience by building

credibility or character

Pathos

Emotional appeal

Persuading an audience by

appealing to their emotions

Logos

Logical appeal

Persuading an audience by using

logic or reason

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Ethos: Ethical Appeal• One way to build credibility with your audience is to

“give in without giving up.”

• The skill of giving in is important because people generally don’t want to deal with individuals whose intention is to win at all costs or be declared “right” for the sake of being right.

• A person who is willing to “give in” from time to time comes across as sensible and realistic.

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Pathos: Emotional AppealUsing a dash of emotion can help you persuade others. Specifically, you should practice:

• Focusing on positive emotions as benefit• Focusing on a negative emotion, and then adding a

call to action• Using analogies and metaphors• Using visuals• Using vivid, sensory words• Showing that it’s personal

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Logos: Logical AppealThe following methods will help you appeal to a person’s logic and reasoning:

• Provide statistical data• Provide known facts as evidence• Separate facts from opinions• Create logical arguments from facts• Reinforce your claims

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Module 8:

“I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.”

- Edward Gibbon

How Can I Express My Opinion and

Remain Respectful?

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How To Express Your OpinionIn this module, we will discuss the skills you can use to share your opinion respectfully and effectively. Particularly, we will discuss how to use I-messages, disagree constructively and build consensus.

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Using I-Messages• An I-message is a message that is focused on the

speaker.

• When you use I-messages, you take responsibility for your own feelings instead of accusing the other person of making you feel a certain way.

• I-messages are more direct and reduce the chances of a miscommunication.

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Tips For Disagreeing Constructively and Respectfully

• Keep disagreements constructive• Show respect before dissenting• Give reasonable concessions• Don’t make it personal• Listen to other points of view• Strive for a win-win solution• Keep it positive• Encourage feedback

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How To Build a ConsensusBuilding a consensus is a collaborative process that can help you reach better decisions. Here are some tips for building a consensus:

• Focus on interests rather than positions• Explore the different options together• Be respectful of dissenters• Address all concerns• Increase sameness/reduce differentiation• Resolve any conflicts• Amend the proposed solution as needed

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Personal ReflectionReflect on a time when you disagreed with another individual. How did you share your opinion and remain respectful?

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Module 9:

“Sometimes, one creates a dynamic impression by saying something and sometimes one creates as significant and impression by remaining silent.”

- Dalai Lama

How Can I Make a Good Impression

and Build My Emotional

Intelligence?

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Why Is Making a Good Impression Important?

Some people stand out, while others fade into the background. But if you want to make the most of interpersonal relationships, you have to be able to leave a lingering positive impression on the people that you meet.

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Tips For Creating a Powerful First Impression

• Be prepared• Dress to impress• Be courteous and attentive• Communicate your confidence• Be on time• Be conscious of your body language• Remember the names of people you meet• Be yourself• Leave the conversation on a positive note

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Be Assertive But Not Offensive

• Focus on what is important to the other person• Respect boundaries• Make requests, not demands• Take note of nonverbal behavior

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Tips for Building Emotional Intelligence

• Consider how your words/actions affect others• Examine how you react to the words/actions of others• Know your strengths and weaknesses• Manage your emotions• Keep an open mind• Read body language• Show humility• Determine what thoughts are appropriate to share• Practice your skills

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Review: Workshop Objectives• How can I improve my ability to listen?• What are some differences between weak and powerful

communicators?• What role does nonverbal communication play in my

effectiveness?• How can I break the ice and start conversations that lead to

meaningful connections?• What interpersonal skills are critical for leading and working

with teams?

BOOK2BOARDROOM

Review: Workshop Objectives• What are behaviors and common mistakes that impact

interpersonal effectiveness and team success?• How can I influence and engage others?• How can I express my opinion and remain respectful?• How can I make a good impression and build my emotional

intelligence?