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7 Do’sfor Dealing with Difficult People

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1. prepare your

BATNA

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BATNA

Best

Alternative

To a

Negotiated

Agreement

Your fall-backIn case an agreementIs not possible.

Without a BATNA you go into the negotiation exposed. Without a best alternative, you have to get their agreementso they can manipulate you.

Source: Fisher & Ury (2012)

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UNDERSTAND

2. seek first to

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asking to understand someone else’s views, perspective, & feelings first

remains the most powerful influencing strategy

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3. REFLECT BACK

that you understand them

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this is the power of empathyshowing you understand

Note: empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or take on board their feelings or views

(which is sympathy)

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UNDERSTOOD

4. then be

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steps 2 & 3 – if done well - have earned you the right

to put your interests before them

don’t be a doormat – you must put your perspective & case to them –otherwise it is not negotiation

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5. SEEK WIN-WIN or NO DEAL

Explore where you both might gain something.It is not a zero-sum, “I win, you lose” strategy.Look for how they might win when you do.Otherwise, walk away. You are not a loser.

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“ASK”

6. Make the

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you have explored various win-win’sthere comes that moment when you must summon up courage….

… and ask them to agree. don’t let fear make you dance around this.

sales people call this ‘closing’.

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CONSEQUENCES

7. clarify the

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there are always consequences to lack of agreement.if they are still reluctant to agree to a solution …

… reflect back the consequences of theirlack of agreement, in loss, waste, delay, etc.

let them see that their accountability for this will be visible

difficult people are often bullies. bullies are cowards.

cowards do not like visibility.

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7 Do’s Dealing with the Difficult

1. Prepare your BATNA2. Seek first to understand3. Reflect back that you understand4. Then be understood5. Seek win-win or no deal6. Make the Ask7. Clarify the Consequences

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Disclaimer: These steps cannot guaranteed success. We are deal with real people. This is not magic. Don’t blame the seven steps. Take responsibility for yourself for how you use of these steps.

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but it will give you better results over time

& help you build better relationships

@PatrickMayfieldhttps://www.google.com/+PatrickMayfield-sense-maker

The seven steps are one of the tools from Practical People Engagement:Leading Change through the Power of Relationships (Elbereth: 2013)

Available on Amazon.

www.pearcemayfield.com