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A POINT OF VIEW PAPER BY THE EXPERTS IN BEHAVIOURAL CHANGE AND ACHIEVING ORGANIZATIONAL POTENTIAL
MEETING THE NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE At the expense of the business
Matriarchal Leaders Part 4 of 4 Dysfun ction al Le adership Style s Series :
Practical Insight THE NEWSLETTER OF CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS MARCH 2016
4 Dysfunctions of Leaders
This article is the second in a series of articles on dysfunctional leaders. Each of the articles provides insight into the 4 Dysfunctional Styles:
Narcissistic Avoidant Patriarchal (Autocratic) Matriarchal (Nurturing)
Each of the dysfunctional leadership styles:
has natural talents and abilities that when directed can be used in the service of the organization;
has specific Behaviours that they use to achieve their own agenda that get in the way of the organizations goals;
have to be managed and coached in order to shift from functional to dysfunctional behaviours;
can be developed over time to add value to the organization.
We customize our leadership development and coaching services to meet the needs of your leaders and organizations.
www..caliberleadership.com
416.406.3939
The Matriarchal Leadership Style Part 4 of our 4 Dysfunctional Leadership Styles Series
The fourth Dysfunctional Leadership Style is called the Matriarchal (Nurturing)
Leader. It refers to a collaborative, cooperative leadership style used by many
females. These leaders get employees to conform to their defined social order and
standards of behavior. They create emotional security for themselves by creating an
atmosphere of “one big happy family”. The family culture has values and rules they
have to conform to in order to be a part of it. They talk about their personal values
and the way they expect people should treat each other. They tend to lead by
example, expecting everyone else to behave the way they do. They use their
emotions to get their direct reports to conform to the status quo they create.
Matriarchal Leaders tend to be right brain
dominant and their dysfunction arises from using
it excessively to make sure the workplace is
harmonious and everyone is happy. As a result of
their right brain dominance, they are bound to
the positive and negative behaviors associated
with that side of the brain. They believe that
relational leadership behaviors are correct and
preferred while other behaviors and ways of expressing oneself are
wrong. Functional qualities and needs rooted in the right brain include empathy,
bonding, harmony, creativity, holistic, subjective, and cooperation. These are the
hallmarks of the Matriarchal Leader and they negate the value of individuality,
decisiveness, competitiveness, goal driven behavior and are overly concerned with
the feelings of employees, putting the needs of people before the needs of the
business. Their need for harmony and affiliation becomes disruptive to the
workplace as it grows and people strive to achieve their own agendas.
The behaviors of the Matriarchal Leader are characterized by a pervasive need to
have everyone on the same page, to ward off feelings of anxiety and uncertainty that
come from being out of alignment with others. They insist on cohesive group
functioning and decision making to meet their social needs and need for connection.
This leadership style is most effective in situations where there is a need to build
employee bench strength through hands-on learning and involvement. It also helps
with the reduction of employee stress and frustration in the workplace. This method
is not really effective when employee work tasks are intrinsically motivating and
© 2016 Caliber Leadership Systems
can be done independently. The
Matriarchal Leader provides supportive
leadership, spending time listening,
empathizing, offering advice, and helping
direct reports however they can. It
doesn’t work in industries where it is
more important to lead with power,
direction, and result orientation.
While there are many Matriarchal
Leadership behaviors, the
following are examples of the more
dysfunctional ones and the type of
organizational issues they create.
PLAY FAVORITES
Matriarchal Leaders expect direct reports
to conform to their cultural and societal
norms. When employees know what the
“rules of the family” are and follow them
appropriately, they are welcomed into
the inner circle of the Matriarchal
Leader, their contributions are valued
and they can do no wrong. They have a
tendency to be permissive and indulge
poor performance in these employees.
They are allowed to be innovative and
bring new ideas to the team because they
know the “right way” to do this. Not so
for direct reports who prefer to do things
their own way without appropriately
respecting the family culture and rules.
They soon find themselves out in the cold
and their ideas rejected without due
consideration.
RESULT: CULTURE OF FEAR, LACK OF
TRUST
Because Matriarchal Leaders make
decisions based on a subjective criterion,
employees try to figure out what they
have to do to please their boss rather than
doing their best work. They fear getting
kicked out of the inner circle, or doing
something wrong to cause the
Matriarchal Leader to become upset with
them. As their leadership style is
parental, it can cause employees to
behave like children. They become more
concerned with their survival than doing
their best work and achieving their
potential. The culture tends to become
familial in the worst possible ways.
Gossip, rumors and backstabbing become
the norm and employees feel they have to
watch their backs because they can’t trust
their co-workers.
DEMAND COLLABORATION
Matriarchal Leaders are collaborative and
insist on inclusion to ensure everyone is
conforming. While this approach helps
get employee buy in, it is not useful when
overused and everyone has to be involved
even with the smallest of decisions. They
will call everyone to meetings for fear
someone will feel left out and complain
about it. This is frustrating for many
employees who feel this behavior is a
waste of time. They make sure everyone
has had their say and feel good about the
experience. Those employees who
complain about how long meetings take
or inefficiencies can be made to feel
guilty or punished by the Matriarchal
Leader. They can take it personally when
others do not feel the same way they do
about the team objective and can be
punitive to those who upset the harmony
of the team.
RESULT: SLOW OR INEFFECTIVE
DECISION MAKING
Because the Matriarchal Leader tries to
get everyone on the same page before
making a decision, employees can get the
idea that they should be consulted and
their opinions acted upon. Decision
making slows down when too many
people are involved. Inputs and feedback
may be either subjective or objective and
have the potential to create disharmony
amongst team members slowing the
process down or stopping it altogether.
Matriarchal Leaders will either try to see
everyone’s perspective or come down
emotionally hard on the side of the
employee who has an opinion too
different from the rest of the team.
CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Matriarchal Behaviour March 2016 Page 2
© 2016 Caliber Leadership Systems
MANIPULATION & MARTYRDOM
When acting from their dysfunction,
Matriarchal Leaders can manipulate
others to reach their goals. They will
demonstrate sincere caring and hold
direct reports in high esteem, however
they are not above using flattery or
charm to get them to do things they want
them to. They will also use guilt to get
people to do things for them, bemoaning
how much
work they
have on
their plate.
They keep
a scorecard
of favors
they have
done as
currency
that will
be used at
some point to get what they need. Should
someone disappoint them, they can react
emotionally, leaving people afraid to say
no again.
RESULT: MEDIOCRE PERFORMANCE
Direct reports can be confused and
unsettled because it’s difficult to know
where the Matriarchal Leaders is coming
from. Indirect and emotional
communication stops employees from
driving for success as they don’t feel they
are on secure footing with their leader.
Employees often think “Did I do
something wrong?” Or “Should I have
known they wanted that done?” Because
they aren’t direct in giving expectations,
Matriarchal Leaders also fail to bring out
the best in high potential employees or
employees who are more autonomous in
their functioning. If an employee doesn’t
need the help of the Matriarchal Leader,
they can fall out of favor. Because they
tend to praise excessively, they cause
some employees to believe everything
they do is amazing or frustrate high
achievers by praising them for routine
parts of their job. This instability and
mixed messages lowers the performance
bar substantially and leads to losing high
performers and keeping mediocre ones.
DISORGANIZATION
Because Matriarchal Leaders favor using
right brain functions, they tend to be
disorganized and reactive. They often fail
to set goals, create plans and manage
business performance. While they have
the goal in mind and the ability to
achieve it, they can create a chaotic work
environment by failing to plan. They
spend so long talking about what needs to
get done and building consensus they can
fail to achieve their desired outcomes.
Matriarchal Leaders spend much more
time talking than planning, leading their
direct reports to believe that there is no
urgency to achieving goals.
RESULT: FOSTER DEPENDENCE
When Matriarchal Leaders don’t define
expectations clearly enough for their
employees or give them deadlines for
accomplishing their work, projects stall
and people fail. The Matriarchal Leader
doesn’t see this as their fault, yet will get
upset when this happens and will take
over from employees who are failing to
achieve their goals because things are too
undefined for them. While this makes the
Matriarchal Leader feel needed, it also
causes employees to doubt their abilities
and look to their leader to help or do
things for them, despite being competent.
CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Matriarchal Behaviour March 2016 Page 3
© 2016 Caliber Leadership Systems
Want to understand more about the impact of personality styles in leadership development & effectiveness?
Contact us today to learn more about the Striving Styles Personality System or visit www.StrivingStyles.com
DON’T DEAL WITH CONFLICT
Matriarchal Leaders want to be liked and
will take any type of dissention
personally. They run into difficulty when
there is discord or conflict among team
members because of their need for
harmony. They tend to get too involved
with people issues and take things too
personally. They don’t understand why
everyone doesn’t share their values or
when others come at things from another
perspective. They take this as a personal
rejection and respond emotionally to any
opposition.
Matriarchal leaders will become irate,
making personal or devaluing comments.
They also become cold toward the
offending party and are known to carry a
grudge against the team members who
have created the opposition or
disagreement. They cast silent
disapproval, a behavior that comes across
as maternal, and shaming the employee
in the process.
RESULT: EMPLOYEE DISENGAGEMENT
Because these leaders need everyone to
live in their idealized version of “one big
happy family” they expect everyone else
to as well. Employees are afraid to bring
issues to their attention because they fear
the emotional response that may result.
They feel they have to pretend that
everything is great, creating an
inauthentic, unhealthy work
environment where conflict and power
struggles go underground.
In order for Matriarchal Leaders to
develop, they have to be willing to learn
to trust and let go of control. Developing
assertiveness, building tolerance to their
emotions and those of others are critical
to their long-term success as leaders.
There are three key barriers that
need to be addressed in order to
develop Matriarchal Leaders:
PERSONALIZE FEEDBACK.
Matriarchal Leaders have difficulty
taking in feedback. They are hurt by even
the most objective feedback and tend to
dismiss it as an issue of the person
delivering it. People tend to withhold
giving feedback for fear of hurting their
feelings or having to deal with their
defensiveness.
DEVELOP OTHERS, NOT THEMSELVES.
These leaders will insist that their
training dollar is best spent in developing
their direct reports and they can get by
without any. Because they see problems
as outside of themselves, they have
difficulty looking inward to what they
need to improve .
INABILITY TO SEE THEY ARE THE
OBSTACLE TO GROWTH.
Despite knowing that change is
necessary, Matriarchal Leaders will blame
others for their issues and kick them out
of their inner circle. They don’t see their
behavior as problem. They don’t see that
if they want to transform the
performance of their business that they
must do most of the changing.
Matriarchal behavior is a form of
adaptation. Long-standing adaptive
patterns of behavior can be
changed and new, productive
responses and patterns can be put
in their place.
CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Matriarchal Behaviour March 2016 Page 4
© 2016 Caliber Leadership Systems
We have had a great deal of experience
working with Matriarchal Leaders. We
help them develop their leadership skills
and emotional intelligence by doing the
following:
PARTICIPATE IN A LEADERSHIP
DEVELOPMENT PROGRAM WHICH
INCLUDES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
COACHING Matriarchal Leaders must build awareness
of how they are contributing to their
team and employees’ dysfunction.
Participating in a team training program
lets them receive feedback about their
approach while learning tools to drive
business processes.
LEARN SITUATIONAL LEADERSHIP Matriarchal Leaders must learn to be able
to shift to a more directive style to ensure
goals are achieved in a timely fashion.
We help them by introducing tools for
delivering performance expectations
including scripting & role playing for
holding people accountable. We help them
work through uncomfortable feelings that
arise when they have to correct employee
performance.
LEARN TO FOCUS ON ISSUES, NOT ON
FEELINGS. Focusing on how employees might feel
instead of on the needs of the business
creates more issues. The Matriarchal
Leader will see the employee as the
problem rather than looking at it from a
dynamic, systems perspective. By putting
energy into understanding or
rationalizing employee behavior, real
issues don’t get resolved, nor does it
prevent problems from happening again.
We provide them with training in issues
based decision making and conflict
management skills. Coaching helps these
leaders shift their attention from the
personal to solving issues.
LEARN TO SAY “NO” A Matriarchal Leaders success can be a
direct result of doing the employees work
for them when they fail to meet
performance targets. They need to learn
to deal with poor performance and give
consequences to the people they like
without fearing consequences.
We teach them assertiveness skills so that
they learn to say “no” when necessary and
create boundaries so they don’t do the
work of their direct reports.
LEARN TO PLAN Matriarchal Leaders are so focused on
helping and doing things for others that
they fail to plan, organize or complete
their own work on time. They try so hard
to be all things to all people that they
have a negative impact on their
reputation.
We provide training on strategic planning,
goal setting, and performance
management. We also do the planning
with the Matriarchal Leader to ensure it
gets done and employees are focused on
the business.
Learn more about the Matriarchal Leadership Style at our webinar on:
Thursday, March 31st
1:30 pm to 2:15 pm For information on how we can help you deal with adaptive or other dysfunctional leadership behaviour in your organization, contact us for a complimentary consultation.
[email protected] 416.406.3939
www.caliberleadership.com
CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Matriarchal Behaviour March 2016 Page 5
Leadership Coaching for Dealing with Dysfunctions
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Leadership dysfunction and
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