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Presenter
‣ Ellen is a strategic talent advisor, psychologist, certified coach and Founding Principal of Lawyers Life Coach LLC.
‣ Ellen consults with practice groups, law firms and corporate legal departments on strategic talent management and retention
‣ Ellen is particularly known for her expertise on the challenges faced by women in the profession
‣ Ellen has been selected as the exclusive Women In Law Empowerment Forum (WILEF)-endorsed leadership development coach
‣ Ellen is Co-Chair of the Board of the ThirdPath Institute, on the Board of WILEF and a member of the Center for Women in the Law’s Consortium
‣ Ellen received her Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Rochester, her coach training from the MentorCoach ™ program, for which she has also taught, and served on the faculties of three universities before starting her independent practice.
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© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Poll Slide #1
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How satisfied are you with your work/life balance?!!!
Very satisfied!Somewhat satisfied!
Occasionally satisfied!I never have work/life balance!
AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH LESSONS FROM A BOBO DOLL
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© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
"More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person's level of resilience will
determine who succeeds and who fails. That's true in the cancer ward, it's true in the Olympics, and it's true in
the boardroom."
Diane L. Coutu, quoting Dean Becker, CEO of Adaptiv Learning Systems. Harvard Business Review, May 2002, p.47
© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
• Central, self-organizing life aim • Over-riding sense of mission and
meaning • Creates overarching values
manifested in day-to-day behavior • Generates goals and effort to
accomplish • Resonates across time and
context • Provides foundation that allows
resilience in face of adversity Steger & Kashdan, 2013
15 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
£ People who anchor their lives in a meaningful purpose report: ¤ Less depression, anxiety,
stress, substance abuse, and workaholism
¤ More engagement in their work
¤ More control over their lives
Steger & Kashdan, 2013
16 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
� Have a hard time saying no � Sometimes wonder why you are
driving so hard � Have a hard time prioritizing tasks � Feel like you have no time for yourself � Sometimes feel so depleted that
nothing seems as important as getting some sleep
� Feel badly about how little time you spend with your family/friends/community
Robin J. Ely, Ph.D., Harvard Business School
17 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
v What matters most to you v What you stand for v Sense of purpose v What gives your life meaning v The motivation in your life v Lifelong striving v Something you can work toward but
cannot arrive at v Not a goal you can achieve v Describes a quality not a quantity v Your perspective vs. what others think
is “right” v Provides foundation that allows
resilience in face of adversity
18 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
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Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Work!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Leisure!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Health!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Intimate Relationships!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Friends!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Community!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Family!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Education!
Intention!!
Importance Behavior
Difference
Spirituality!
!!
YOU !!!
Obstacle!
Obstacle!
Obstacle!
Obstacle!
Obstacle!
Obstacle!Obstacle!
Obstacle!
© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Dah,l et al. !The Art & Science of Valuing 2009!
Poll Slide #2
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The chatter in my mind includes:!!
Worries that I’ll lose a client!Fears of making a mistake!
Thoughts that I “should” be exercising more!Feeling guilty about neglecting my family!
ü Adapt to situational demands ü Maintain balance between
competing life domains ü Tolerate distress and develop
open, receptive attitude toward emotions, thoughts, sensations
ü Be aware of and committed to behaviors congruent with deeply held values
Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010
27 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
REFLECTION RITUALS v “BALANCE” IS
IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT REGULAR REFLECTION
v Aware of stress level and need to recover
v Take time to reflect on what is most important
v “Workability” 28
© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
1 = completely relaxed 5 = ?
10 = ready to explode or collapse
30 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
© 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
– !
By saying “Yes” to:!!1. ___________________!2. ___________________!3. ___________________!
By saying “No” to:!1. ___________________!2. ___________________!3. ___________________!
I am saying “No” to:!!1. ___________________!2. ___________________!3. ___________________!
I am saying “Yes” to:!1. ___________________!2. ___________________!3. ___________________!
Poll Slide #3
My workplace:
Recognizes and supports my life outside of work Tolerates but disapproves of my life outside of work
Does not acknowledge the legitimacy of life outside of work Is an environment of chronic overwork
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SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
34 © 2016 Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., PCC, CMC Lawyers Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.
Presenter contact info www.lawyerslifecoach.com [email protected] (844) 818-9471
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