Bedminster • Cranford • Freehold Hackensack • Mount Laurel • Parsippany

Acknowledging Male Victims of Domestic Violence:

H e lp ing Male V ic t ims G e t th e Su p port & P ro te ct ion Th e y D e serve

Male Domestic Violence By The Numbers

- 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States

have experienced rape, physical violence,

and/or stalking by an intimate partner or

spouse in their lifetime.

- 1 in 7 men have experienced severe

physical violence by an intimate partner or

spouse.

- 53% of all male victims experienced some

form of intimate partner violence before

they were 25 years old.

- Approximately 15% of documented

contacts to the National Domestic Violence

Hotline identify themselves as male victims.

Sources:

CDC: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 2010

National Domestic Violence Hotline

2

Challenges to Getting Help for All DV Victims

- Intense self-doubt and anxiety

- Fear their abusers will seek retribution if they go to the police

- Uncertainty about leaving their home for temporary safe house shelter

- Concern about what will happen to their kids

Why Male Victims Avoid Getting Help

- Fear that men who claim victim status won’t be taken seriously by the police.

- Fear that seeking help will result in further negative repercussions, such as the abusive spouse making false accusations.

- Fear that domestic violence laws don’t protect male victims, and related laws, such as child custody laws, are biased against men.

- Fear that domestic violence agencies don’t offer assistance to men.

Fear: Law Enforcement & The Courts Don’t Take Male Victims Seriously

-Law enforcement officers

understand the diversionary

tactics abusers try to use and

are trained to do their job to

assess the incident and take

the correct action.

-Likewise, the courts exist to

examine the weight of

evidence in an impartial

setting.

5

Documenting Domestic Violence: Action Steps for Men

- Start keeping a log of all instances of abusive actions taken by your partner. Be

specific with dates, places, times, what happened, and the names of any witnesses.

- Carefully document any cuts, bruises or other injuries. Take photos and seek medical

care as needed.

- If you feel unsafe having this information in your home, leave it with a trusted friend or

family member.

- In the event you call the police, or someone else calls 911 to report an incident, or

you need to go to court, producing this kind of evidence can be a powerful tool to

clarify the situation.

- Men can help law enforcement and the courts do their jobs by being completely up

front with what has been happening in the relationship.

Fear: Domestic Violence Agencies Don’t Help Men

- Female-centric agency names may send male victims the message that they aren’t welcome — even when they are!

- If a shelter or organization receives federal funding, most sources require that services are provided to all victims of abuse.

- If your organization offers help to men, list this somewhere on your website and Facebook page.

- Let DV Hotlines know that your organization is a male victim-friendly referral.

Fear: Domestic Violence Laws Are Stacked Against Men

-Laws in New Jersey pertaining to

domestic violence and temporary

restraining orders are gender-free.

-Despite this, men often go to court for a

TRO feeling like their gender will bias the

courts against them.

-Access to legal assistance is important

for all victims, including male victims.

-Study: 83 percent of victims who had an

attorney help them file a restraining

order successfully obtained one,

compared to approximately 30 percent of

victims without counsel.

8

TRO Form

bit.ly/TRO-forms

bit.ly/TRO-forms

Fear: Gay Male Victims Will Be “Outed”

- Gay or transgender men who wish to keep their sexual orientation private may believe they will need to reveal this information in order to get help.

- Men need to hear the message: It is enough to identify yourself as a victim of domestic violence.

- Agencies can help by making privacy policies readily available and understood.

Fear: Men Who Seek Help Are Weak

- Men are socialized to suppress their emotions.

- Young boys are still taught to “suck it up” and “be a man.”

- Society on a whole still embraces narrow definitions of gender.

A Message for Male Victims & All Victims of DV:

Few actions require as

much bravery as walking

away from an abusive

relationship. Recognizing

that you need of help, and

taking the steps to get this

help, is not a sign of

weakness. It is a sign of

immense strength.

13

bit.ly/domesticviolencebook

Bedminster • Cranford • Freehold • Hackensack • Mount Laurel • Parsippany

WeinbergerLawGroup.com

(888) 888-0919

To view this presentation, please visit:

bit.ly/UC-CARES