The Explosive child

Dr. Ross Greene

Your explanation

you

“BRAINLOCK”

Pathways and Triggers

Pathways...

What pathways set the stage for explosions?

Each category includes a specific thinking skill:

1. Executive skills

2. Language processing skills

3. Emotion regulation skills

4. Cognitive flexibility skills

5. Social skills

This doesn’t describe explosive children

...Cognitive Flexibility Skills...

Cognitive Flexibility Skills

Social skills are considered among the hardest skills to learn

Provided the child with lots of positive attention to reduce thedesirability of negative attention?

Issued fewer and clearer rules?

Taught the child that compliance is expected and enforced for all parental commands ? That child must comply quickly because command will only be repeated once or twice?

Implemented a record-keeping system? (points, stickers, happy faces, etc.) Track child’s performance on targeted behaviour?

Delivered consequences and rewards such as allowance money and special privileges- and punishments like time outs and loss of privileges-depending on child's performance?

Taught the child that you, as a parent, ‘won’t back down’ in the face of explosions?

Why??

There is a simple equation to summarize this phenomenon:

Inflexibility + Inflexibility=EXPLOSION

Be sure the other adults in the child’s life have a clear

understanding of the child’s difficulties…united front!

It may be necessary to put some of your parenting

agenda on the back burner, at least temporarily

There is nothing about CPS that will have you feeling like

you are a pushover

You may have to come to terms with the fact that your child is a little

different. For parenting this child, this means ‘being responsive to the

hand you’ve been dealt’

Another Important Point:Explosions are actually

predictable

Homework*

Plan A

Plan B

Plan C

Plan A

Plan CPlan B

Plan A

Plan A

Plan A

An explosive outburst-like other forms of

maladaptive behaviour-occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon

a person outstrip that person’s capacity to respond adaptively

KABOOM!

Plan A Plan APlan A

KABOOM!!

Plan CPlan C

Plan C

Plan C

Plan BCollaborative Problem Solving

(CPS)Discussing and working out mutually

satisfactory solutions to the problems that you have been experiencing with your child

The 3 steps for doing Plan B

Now we’ll have two concerns that have yet to be reconciled, your child’s and yours..

only be one solution left on the table Plan B

1

ONE SOLUTION ONLYONE ISSUE

potential solutions to the problem

with

to

Plan B needs you to consider...

Emergency Plan B-in the moment, usually the heat of the moment!

Proactive Plan B-using Plan B ahead of time, not in the heat of the moment.

Remember tracking your child’s frustrations,

explosions and inflexibility?

Homework*:

Proactive Plan B

First goal, take fuel out of the fire by:

PLAN A

PLANS B AND C DRAMATICALLY

Time outs?

punishment

everyone

forget them!

1. The first mistake is to think your child’s behaviour is unplanned and unintentional

when it really isn’t

2.The second mistake is thinking your child’s behaviour is planned and intentional when it really isn’t

There are 3 basic skills necessary for kids to be able to participate with Plan B

...now to identify and articulate their concerns...

gimme a minute”

“I can't talk about that right now”

“I need help”

“I don’t feel right”

“ This isn’t going the way I thought it would”

“ I don’t know what to do”

“this label is bothering my neck”

...Consider a Range of Possible Solutions...

solutions to problems

1 of 3 general categories:

1) Asking for help

2) Meeting half way/giving in a little

3) Doing it a different way

happy, sad and of course, frustrated.

USE PICTURES IF YOU NEED TO...

HAPPY, SAD AND/OR FRUSTRATED

frustrated is too complex, angry or mad

Confused excited bored annoyed...

Gather Evidence

Gather Evidence

“I’m so STUDID!!”

“I know you sometimes think you are stupid, but I don’t

think someone ‘stupid’ could do so well in their

art project, like you did!!’

Family Matters...

An explosive child can bring difficulties and challenges to any family. Even families who might not have major difficulties in life, if ‘handed’ a challenging child, can end pulling other huge issues to the surface that may

have otherwise worked themselves out.

But family issues pre-existing the difficult child, (or run parallel) can complicate or impede

implementation of Plan B.

With an explosive child, it is especially troublesome...

...

FAIR DOES NOT MEAN EQUAL

Siblings...

Siblings

Speculation...

Speculation

not

KABOOM!

Have a family ‘Speculation’ RULE:

Don’t pathologize or psychologize , and don’t use your own value judgements

When issues are brought up ahead of time in a way what doesn’t elicit defensiveness, most of these

children are willing or even eager to talk about important desired topics

such as...

How many times do I have to

tell you?!?!?

counterproductive

Tips...Control

Stay on topic

Recognize

back on track

things that are frustrating to you both

Parents

ParentsIf these things occur with your child,

the issues need to be addressed. Sometimes marital therapy might be

necessary

Many parents feel like they have no energy left for anything

GrandparentsWe need to make sure the grandparents are ‘with the program’. If grandparents are an integral part of the

family unit they need to be brought into the loop,

and become part of ‘united front’

Grandparents

won’t explode at school

Some possible factors...

The Embarrassment factor:

They’d be embarrassed if they exploded at school in front of

friends. Embarrassment

doesn't happen at home.

The Tightly Wrapped factor:

The child puts so much energy

into holding it together at school, he’ll unravel the

minute he gets home

afterschool

The Herd Mentality

factor:

Because school days tend to be

relatively structured and

predictable, making it user

friendly for these kids

The Chemical factor:

Students and teachers are usually the

primary beneficiaries of

pharmacotherapy. Medications usually

wear off by late afternoon or evening.

Zero tolerance is a very much a roadmap for

Plan A

Think about this...

Standard school disciplinary practices don’t work for the students to whom they are most frequently applied, and aren’t

needed for the students to whom they are

never applied.

In other words, the school discipline program isn’t the reason

well behaved kids act well behaved. They do it because they

can.

We have little to show for all the consequences-detentions, suspensions, expulsions, and

so forth...

Philosophy:

“Children do well if they can”

Time

Expertise:

You need expertise in these domains:

• Five pathways

• Three plans

• Three steps for doing Plan B

A Plan B road map:Goal 1: achieve consensus on a given student’s pathways and

triggers. Input from school staff, mental health professionals and child’s parents

Goal 2: prioritize which problems are to be proactively solved (triggers) and which skills are to be proactively taught (pathways) Now you can assign roles for everyone at the table.

A Plan B road map:Key points:

There are no quick fixes

Ensuring good communication among adults is absolutely essential

Blaming doesn't help

B

Community of learners

Community of learners

frequent opportunities for practicing social

interactions

Community of learners

Community of learners

Community of learners

integral

Community of learners

“Fair does not mean equal”

Community of learners

Thanks for your participation in this overview

ANY QUESTIONS?