12
1 5 Greatest Challenges for Parents in 2013 Dr Michael Carr-Gregg Chils & Adolescent Psychologist www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au Wednesday 21 August 2013 Parenting There is no such thing as a perfect parent Is this the most vulnerable generation? All families have some difficulties What does the latest research say? www.missionaustralia.com.au/document-downloads/cat_view/132-annual-mission-australia-youth-survey What are the problems? Anxiety Depression Substance abuse/Alcohol Self Harm Eating disorders Sexual behaviour Sexualization 4 year shift Developmental compression

Mlc parents

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

1

5 Greatest Challenges for Parents in 2013

Dr Michael Carr-Gregg Chils & Adolescent Psychologist

www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au

Wednesday 21 August 2013

Parenting

There is no

such thing as a

perfect parent

Is this the most vulnerable generation? All families have some

difficulties

What does the latest research

say?

www.missionaustralia.com.au/document-downloads/cat_view/132-annual-mission-australia-youth-survey

What are the problems? l  Anxiety l  Depression l  Substance abuse/Alcohol l  Self Harm l  Eating disorders l  Sexual behaviour Sexualization l  4 year shift l  Developmental compression

2

2010 2011 2012

School or study problems

27.3% 35.4% 36.5%

Coping with stress 25.5% 37.3% 40%

Body Image 31.1% 33.1% 34%

Tested the views of 15,000 15-19 yo

All parents must have a ‘developmental’ perspective

It’s a staged journey Stages of Adolescence

Early Middle Late

11

“…It is sort of unfair to expect teens to have adult levels of organizational skills or decision-making before their brains are finished being built...”

Jay Giedd, M.D. Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Chief of Brain Imaging at the Child Psychiatry Branch of the

National Institute of Mental Health

A beautiful work in progress

12

3

Parents need to negotiate and compromise

l  The surrogate voice of reason l  The frontal lobes of teenagers are

located in their parents brains l  Asking an adolescent to plan

ahead is like asking a dog to study physics

l  Too much freedom is not good l  Just as the early teen has not

grown into their body, we know they have not yet grown into their brain either

l  Boys are slower….

Communication with young people

“…she had lost the art of conversation, but not unfortunately the power of speech.”��George Bernard Shaw

The 6 golden rules of talking to Young People

1. Give full attention – make eye contact and focus on their content

and be playful

2. Sound interested – tone must match content

3. Ask lots of questions – signals interest and

engagement

4. Feedback – reflect back in a paraphrase what you

have heard

4

5. Praise their ability to explain things

6. Help them find their ‘spark’

The question…

What gets you up in the morning?

Tips for good � Communication �with Teenagers

l  Keep Calm l  Don’t talk too much and

listen more* l  Look for compromise and

negotiate l  Use humour l  set very clear boundaries l  avoid confrontations or

ultimatums l  only argue over things that

matters

23

Tips for good Communication with with OLDER CHILDREN

•  do not constantly remind them of past mistakes

•  talk while doing something together

•  let some things go by you

5

Getting enough Sleep

•  More than 2/3rd (68.9%) high school students don't get enough sleep on school nights

•  more likely than their well-rested peers to drink, smoke, and seriously consider suicide

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 2011

What does the research say is the optimal amount of sleep for a

student?

8.25 -9.25 hours

Source: Understanding adolescent’s sleep patterns and school performance: a critical appraisal. A.Wolfson, M.Carskadon, Sleep Medicine Reviews, Volume 7,

Issue 6, Pages 491-506

Stages of Sleep Sleep sequence

1 2 3 4

432 2 5

•  REM stage approx 90 minutes after falling asleep

•  The first cycle of REM sleep might last only a short amount of time

•  each cycle becomes longer. •  REM sleep can last up to an hour as sleep

progresses

Nine secrets of a good night’s

sleep

1.  Dim lights 2.  Implement a

routine 3.  Cool down 4.  Minimise

anxiety 5.  Avoid

stimulants 6.  Digital clock 7.  Drinks that

induce sleepiness

l Drinking juice made from Montmorency cherries increases the body’s level of melatonin.

l Drink 30 ml twice a day – sleep for an extra 25 minutes

6

Alcohol

Alcohol Alcohol l  costs taxpayers an estimated

$15.3 billion every year in l Crime l Violence l Medical treatment l Loss of productivity and death.

Alcohol and your kids: a guide for parents and carers

“…There are many good reasons to encourage your teenager not to drink alcohol before turning 18.”

http://www.alcohol.gov.au/internet/alcohol/publishing.nsf/Content/guide-

parent

Alcohol research q  47% of those who begin

drinking before 14 become alcohol dependent compared with 9% who wait until 21 (Hingson 2006)

q  50% of Grade 5 children have had alcohol given to them by their parents (Toumbourou 2006)

Professor Toumbourou Chair in Health Psychology

Deakin University

Source: Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2006 Jul;160(7):739-46.

7

a series of large international studies have

uncovered a clear link

If you start drinking before 14 years of age,

you double the risk of alcohol dependence at age 21…

the earlier you start drinking, the greater the

chance of problem drinking later in life.

Alcohol consumption in adolescence can permanently

damages the wiring of the brain

Government Advice

l  Children under 15 years of age are at the greatest risk of harm from drinking.

l  Not drinking in this age group –(under 15 years) – is especially important.

l  For young people aged 15 to 17 years, the safest option is to delay drinking for as long as possible.

http://www.alcohol.gov.au/internet/alcohol/publishing.nsf/Content/guide-

parent

Official Australian Government Advice

www.nhmrc.gov.au/your_health/healthy/alcohol/index.htm#sum

Smart Phone App

8

School Formals School Formals

Resilience

“…is the human capacity to face,

overcome, be strengthened by and even be transformed

by adversity.”

First psychological study on ‘resilience’

•  studied a cohort of children from Kauai, Hawaii in 1970

Professor Emmy Werner

the first scientists to use the term ‘resilience’ in 1970s

Source: Werner, E. E. (1971). The children of Kauai : a longitudinal study from the prenatal period to age ten. Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press

9

Kauai, Hawaii

•  High levels of unemployment

•  High levels of parental substance abuse

•  High levels of mental illness

Source: Werner, E. E. (1982). Vulnerable but invincible: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-HillNew York: McGraw-Hill

Kauai, Hawaii

•  2/3rds exhibited destructive behaviours as teens (eg: years, chronic unemployment, substance abuse, teen pregnancy)

•  1/3rd did not exhibit destructive behaviours.

Source: Werner, E. E. (1982). Vulnerable but invincible: a longitudinal study of resilient children and youth. New York: McGraw-HillNew York: McGraw-Hill

The 5 characteristics�of resilient young people�

that every parent needs to know

Resilience

Charismatic Adult

Social/Emotional competencies

Spirituality

+ self talk

Islands of competence

And finally - the 8 secrets of happiness

10

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• positive emotion •  engagement •  relationships • meaning •  accomplishment

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• positive emotion

l  Any positive emotion like l  peace l  gratitude l  satisfaction l  Pleasure l  inspiration l  Hope l  curiosity l  love

l  falls into this category

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• engagement l  When we're truly

engaged in a situation, task, or project, we experience a state of flow: l  time seems to stop l  we lose our sense

of self l  we concentrate

intensely on the present

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• relationships l  As humans, we are

"social beings," and good relationships are core to our well-being.

l  people who have l Meaningful l Positive

relationships l  with others are happier

than those who do not

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• meaning l  Meaning comes from

serving a cause bigger than ourselves.

FLOURISHING = PERMA

• Accomplishment

l  master a skill l  achieve a valuable goal l  win in some competitive

event l  accomplishment is another

important thing that contributes to our ability to flourish.

11

Criticism of PERMA

Where is Positive Health?

How do we apply PERMA?

l Using the PERMA Model l Once Scouts are aware

of the things that make up well-being (instead of focusing on happiness alone), it's much easier to live a rich, meaningful life.

PERMA QUESTIONs

l  Although Scouts can't be happy all the time, we need to make sure that they often experience positive emotions such as pleasure, happiness, contentment, peace, joy, and inspiration.

l  Deep engagement happens when participating in sports, spending time with friends, or working on projects that they are fascinated with.

12

The End

www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au