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When I last extended periods of time without eating an ounce of food, I feel confident for a short stint. It's so empowering that I can actually walk with some ounce of positive self-esteem! Yet even though I feel "better" for that little bit, I still can't label my body as "perfect" or "normal." I still notice my protruding stomach and I still remember all of the flaws in my face, arms, legs and neck I saw in the mirror that morning. So the little bit of confidence I get from not eating is completely shattered when I have my first thought of "You are fat." It's sickening to believe how the hours of hard work I went through to stay away from food could be so easily erased by just one negative thought popping into my head! I know I'm not alone in thinking this way because I've heard it from so many people and read it on countless eating disorder blogs--whether they are in recovery or not. This seems rather common for anyone struggling with an unbalanced body image, and it's all because eating disorders and the like are just as mind-damaging as they are body-damaging. We've all heard this sort of thing before, and if you've ever gone through this disorder, then you've definitely experienced it. Yet before you pass this off as another "been there, done that" post, consider how true it is because chances are, you are still letting your minds--emotions and thoughts, ruin how you view yourself. Chances are, you're daily sitting on a teeter-totter of positivity and negativity. At some point, the world became numb to the intangible by solely focusing on the physical things. Reality has become one-sided and neglectful, and the most advantageous parts of who we are have all been but pushed aside and publicized as "crazy things we shouldn't care about" or "thoughts not necessarily important to functioning." Whether or not you recognize this as a personal habit, you'll benefit from putting yourself back in "the now" by being mindful of your day to day journey to recovery.
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Recovering from Eating Disorders
MINDFULLY LIVING
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
“Society seems to think that shame and eating disorders are synonymous with each other, but no matter what anyone says, eating disorders are not disgraceful. They are a way of life that only certain people embrace and experience, but they are still only temporary solutions to our daily lives.”
-Sarah Drudy
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
“THINK, MCFLY! THINK!”
Sounds easy enough, right? Well don't be like Biff from Back to the Future, and act like your thinking when you're really not. There are decisions you make every day that have probably become so routine that you just breeze right through them.
It could be throwing up after every meal just because it’s something you’re so used to doing. It could be running an extra mile every day just because you’re used to pushing yourself to the max no matter how bad it hurts. It could be counting calories on every bite you eat.
Ultimately, you’re aware of what you’re doing, but these “habits” are just another part of your day that you skim over and leave up to your future-self to worry about. When will your present-self take control and stop pushing back stressful decisions until later?
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
REDEFINE YOUR NORMALCY
When you first started exhibiting disordered behaviors, skipping a meal daily was quite difficult, but after a while it just became part of who you are. Eating two bites at dinner probably wasn’t what you called a “meal” comparatively to now. Running ten miles probably wasn’t your idea of a fun night, but it may be now.
In the same light, what you were doing before, no matter what the reason, probably wasn’t the ideal way of living or else you wouldn’t have succumb to such a contrasting lifestyle in the first place. So you’re going to have to start over again.
If the idea of renewing your daily life scares you because of how long the process will take, then break it down and take it step-by-step. The whole point of recovery is to make a lifelong change, but you can’t have a life without your daily decisions.
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
SET GOALS - LISTS
You’ve probably made your fair share of lists with all your your short-term and long-term goals, and and your eating disorder recovery list is either non-existent, in-progress or stuffed in a closet collecting dust.
Non-existent: There is nothing wrong with this. Not everyone is a list person, and that is perfectly fine. If you’ve tried everything else, though, and resulted in no progress, try this. It’s worth a shot!
Collecting Dust: For whatever reason your lists are sitting idle, don’t fret because lists might not be your thing. That or it just wasn’t the right time. Try again or try something else, but don’t give up on mindfully living.
In-Progress: Keep up the good work! You have found something that really works for you even though it may not be easy. Stay strong and don’t be afraid to share your goals with other people!
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
SET GOALS – NO LISTS
Alright, you hate lists (or you love them but just can’t seem to stay focused on recovery. There’s no shame with this because making lists is not the only way to set goals! Although it can be helpful to write things down, mentally setting your goals on a daily basis can be beneficial for those scattered brained people (like me)!
By making goals for each day, you literally are living in “the now.” Every day becomes a new adventure where you can complete or at least start to accomplish different tasks—no matter if they are life changing ones or not.
Just remember not to set them too high or too low. Challenge yourself, but respect your limitations and constraints. Over-achieving and/or under-achieving are not the only ways to live. There is more to life than being stressed.
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
THE PAST IS THE PAST
People always say “hindsight is 20/20,” and when you start to realize how unhealthy depriving, overexerting, overindulging or negative thinking is for your body and mind, the disordered goals you made along the way become your regrets.
Eventually they’ll become your encouragement of a better tomorrow, but until that happens, you’ll have to strenuously and persistently detach yourself from these recovery-hindering thoughts and actions. Remember, “it’s always darkest before the dawn” and you will get through this.
Before you get to that point, take it upon yourself to not feel embarrassed by your eating disorder. Ask for help even when you don’t think you need it, stand up for yourself and most importantly, forgive yourself of your past. Freedom comes when people are willing to reach for it. So reach. Reach as far as you can and take it. You deserve it.
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
DON’T GIVE UP
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
There will always be those rough times where fighting for a better tomorrow can seem impossible.
There will always be days where your slips and falls may seem like the last straw before a relapse.
There might even come a time when you relapse completely and feel that you missed your chance to a full recovery.
These times happens, but with each new day comes new opportunities. New chances to save your life and live a more fulfilling and eating disorder-free life! Never give up.
Who knows, your next step could be the last time you ever struggle with an eating disorder, but you’ll never know this unless you take that next leap of faith.
Tips to Mindfully Living
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
1. Take your time – Don’t rush through life. Live it slowly and savor every moment.
2. Take a break – Give yourself time to relax and to enjoy things.
3. Eat Mindfully – As stressful as eating may be, learn to appreciate every aspect of it because there is no escaping it if you want to keep on living.
4. One at a Time – Don’t be doing one task and thinking about another.
5. Don’t Forget The Basics – Have a strong foundation of what you’re doing and who you are.
6. Smile – Spread some happiness to yourself as well as to those around you.
External Resources:• ZenHabit – “The Mindfulness Guide
for the Super Busy• Mind & Soul – “Mindfulness with a
Christian Scaffolding”
© SMD: Eating Disorders 2013
