Pre- & Post-Baby Couples Counseling

Joyce Marter, LCPCPsychotherapist & CEO

Why is this so important?

Text

What stressors occur during the transition to family?

My Personal Experience

The Inception of UB Baby

Counseling2004

Group Workshops Pre-Baby (3 hours)Post-Baby (3 hours)

Private Counseling Pre-Baby (3 sessions)Post-Baby (3 sessions)

Media Exposure

Book & Phone Application--Coming Soon!

First Comes Love, Then Comes Carriage

The Truth: A Baby Affects Your Relationship

✤ “A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.”~Budda

✤ According to the Gottman Relationship Institute, about 70% of couples see the quality of their relationship drop within three years of the birth of a child.

The Program

✤ Pre-Baby Checklist

✤ Connect for 20 minutes a day--not about baby or tasks

✤ One 45 minute relationship check-in per week

✤ Handouts/Application

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. “ -Leo J. Burke

Pitfall #1: TOTAL EXHAUSTION

“My wife wants sex in the back of a car and she wants me to drive.”-Rodney Dangerfield

Pitfall #2: LESS SEX

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.”

-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Pitfall #3: RESENTMENT ABOUT DISTRIBUTION OF LABOR

“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of

parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.”-Marcelene Cox

Pitfall #4: DIFFICULTY WITH CHANGES IN LIFESTYLE

“Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”  -Dave Barry

Pitfall #5: CONFLICT OVER FINANCES

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.”-Swedish Proverb

Pitfall #6: PRIOR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES RESURFACE

Pitfall #7: PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT PARENTS

“If you are not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”-Reese Witherspoon

“I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property’”-Joan Rivers

Pitfall #8: EXTENDED FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids.” ~Sam Levenson

Pitfall #9: IDENTITY CRISIS

“Love is staying up all night with a sick child--or a healthy adult.”~David Frost

Pitfall #10: SICKNESS COMPOUNDS THE STRESS

Group Workshop FormatPower Point Handout

Private Couples Counseling FormatHandout of 6 Session Model

Importance of PPD Screening

✤ Prevention by collaboration with OB-GYN & psychiatrist

✤ Northshore University Health Systems Perinatal Depression Hotline at 866-364-MOMS

Resources

✤ And Baby Makes 3, Gottman

✤ 5 Love Languages

✤ Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Gottman

✤ Expectant Father’s Class NMH

✤ Boot Camp for New Dads www.bootcampfornewdads.org

Thank YOU!Questions & EvaluationsEvaluations