Grilled

Cheese

Sandwiches

Are they right for you?

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

You think you’re good

enough for a grilled

cheese sandwich? Do

you know what the fuck

you're getting into? Don’t

kid yourself, shit is about

to get real.

Grilled Cheese History

No one knows where cheese comes

from. There are rumors it has

something to do with gangs or the

Vatican, but don’t believe everything

your friends say. Your friends lie to

you ALL THE TIME. How old are you

for fucks sake?

Cheese

According to this picture there

are at least 3 types of

cheese. And let me tell you

something - they are all

delicious. You’re lucky you

even know what cheese IS!

Don’t forget that.

Don’t fuck this up

A few years ago I had a chance to

eat a grilled cheese sandwich. I

thought I was too cool for school

so I said no. You want to know

what happened? DO YOU!?!??!?!

Consequences of not eating a grilled

cheese sandwich.

It started me down the

path of ruin. Within 2

months I was on the

street and working as a

full time prostitute. I lost

my job, my house, even

my guns.

IS THAT WHAT

YOU WANT?

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches are loved

Everyone that has ever tried a

grilled cheese sandwich has loved

them. Even assholes. But here is

the thing. A lot of people get stuck

on only using American cheese.

Come on people are you fucking

kidding me! It’s like you are wiping

your ass with the statue of liberty.

So tired of your bullshit

I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time.

You obviously don’t understand what’s at stake.

I’ll give you another chance

Look, I get it. Life is fucked. Everyday is

like “What the fuck am I doing here? I

didn’t ask for this?” And you fuck up. It’s

part of being a human. So it’s cool.

Honestly I believe in you. I like you. I

used to be a lot like you. I know that

seems crazy but it’s true. I really just

want you to be happy.

Onward and upward

I’m proud that you are going to

take your grilled cheese

sandwich experience more

seriously. There are so many

cheese options, it’s just, you

know, wrong, to miss out. I just

care is all.

Can I get a ride?

My car got towed last month. It’s complete

bullshit and I got one of those guys that

advertises on TV to represent me. Seriously, if

this goes as he says, I could be looking at a

sweet payday. Real money. Fuck you money, if

you know what I mean. But right now I’m kind of

rideless, so if you could give me a lift, I’d totally

appreciate it. And I promise, when I get that

fucking giant settlement check, I’ll treat you to

some really fucking amazing cheese like from

England or some bullshit like that.

Thanks for your

time!