Welcome back to the Vermachtnis Legacy, a legacy undergoing an alien revolution. Last chapter, the five Vermachtnis kids entered college and found love. Palmer was dating a mean maid named Lexie while Penelope was dating Malcolm Landgraab. Malcolm was once a prisoner when Palmer ran a people zoo in the backyard yet was the only one to escape, earning Palmer’s eternal ire. And with that, we’re ready to get going . . .

Palmer was chosen in a poll at SiMania to be heir, so here’s his college portrait in the Urele Ara Hoh library. Palmer is, of course, the mean, outgoing and playful evil mastermind that we’ve all come to know and love. With this decision, the rest of the kids were free to start planning their lives sans heirship.

Paul and Parker dropped out of college to go marry their girlfriends, cheerleader Caryl and cow mascot Elle, respectively. In an interesting choice, they decided to grow up in matching orange and pastel plaid outfits. Hmm.

This left Palmer and his favorite sibling, Penelope, as well as their brother Prescott and his girlfriend Sierra. Sierra is a knowledge sim so it would break her heart to leave college, thus she gets to stay. It would break Prescott’s heart to be away from Sierra so he gets to stay too. I’ve always had an appreciation for knowledge sims so the way to guarantee a college education in my game is to roll that aspiration. Or date one apparently.

With junior year rolling around, Palmer has a chance to change his aspiration, which I have him jump on. His previous aspiration was fortune with the LTW to have 6 pets top their careers. This gave me headaches just thinking about completing it, so I roll my die again . . .

. . . and get family. Whut.

Palmer is so not a family sim, but I can’t disobey the rules, so that’s what he’ll stay.

“Winnipeg, I’m going to get married some day and I can’t wait and then I’ll have lots and lots of babies! Isn’t that just special?”

This is obviously a good idea because . . .

You know who would make a great husband and father?

This guy right here.

Penelope’s LTW is, of course, to eat 200 grilled cheese sandwiches. She had actually done a huge portion of this so far in college, so I decided to actually complete the LTW and collect the grilled cheese grave eventually.

“Penny?”

“Yeah, Palmer?”

“I want to ask you something important.”

“Ok.”

“Is that an eagle or a hawk?”

“Um, a hawk.”

“Oh ok. Also, want to move back home with me after graduation?”

“Sure.”

Penny and Sierra head down to the venue one more time to accomplish a few things. As usual, it is attended by Vermachtnis spares (like Julian, at left) and the usual assortment of placeholders and zombies. The zombies *really* like the venue and show up more often than anyone else.

Penelope works on knocking out cheese sandwiches for her LTW. At first I had her doing equal time on the stove and the treadmill to try to keep her trim, but I could see that it was going to take forever to get to 200 if I was focused on her appearance, so I let Penelope put on the weight and keep it there, at least for now. When she reaches her LTW, then we’ll talk. Until then, eating five sandwiches in a row (that’s how many you can eat before the sixth one rots, btw) is in her best interests.

“Just doing a little gardening – a spray here, 50 sprays there – y’know, that kind of thing.”

Ever since Parker transformed on this very same lot, knowledge sim Sierra has been dying to also become a plantsim. After what seemed an interminable number of sprays, she finally succumbs and sprouts. I think she makes a very lovely plantsim, but nearly every sim in the entire neighborhood that knows her or is related to her – even distantly – wants her to turn back. Sorry guys, not happening!

Back at Urele Ara Hoh, Palmer divides his time between wooing and being wooed by Lexie and playing games on Penelope’s computer in her lovely pink and cheese colored room. Technically, Palmer has the better computer in his room, but he really likes this one for some reason.

Here’s the ladies of generation six. Penelope is the only natural born Vermachtnis in this group, but the rest are all wives of or engaged to a Vermachtnis. They spend some quality girl time over – what else? – grilled cheese. Sierra, no longer needing food, paints in the background.

The summer was an unusually stormy one and we’ve had more than a few weather problems. Besides the usual burnt trees, lightening also struck Penelope, turning her a lovely shade of charcoal that matches the bathroom perfectly.

The final semester is nearly over and all the kids have good grades and full study bars, so they’re free to mess around some, whether that means reading for fun, calling friends, or playing on your sister’s computer for no apparent reason in the middle of the night while she’s trying to sleep.

Back home, the main Vermachtnis household gets ready to make a move. The last house was built 4 years ago and considering I used to build a new house every few months, I just can’t abide by that.

We have to say goodbye to our awesome shrine to Fluffy the cowplant (though Fluffy herself came with us – she’s been around since generation 2 after all) and also to Mary and June’s graves. Before heading off to join the graves at the Vermachtnis cemetary, their ghosts wave goodbye to each other. Even in the afterlife these two make a very sweet couple.

I’m rather proud of the house. We’re going for a modern minimalist vibe, and the inside of the house is decorated mainly in greens, in honor of our green heir. Kitchen, living room and study are downstairs, as well as a center area where the dogs live. Upstairs are bedrooms, a nursery and a playroom for the kids. The third floor is a skilling attic with all manner of career reward objects and craft benches.

Before we get back to the college, let’s check what’s going on at the home base. Let’s see . . .

Maddie is pelting Max in the face with a baseball while Mr. Humble glitches on our stairs? Yeah, that sounds about right.

The current residents of the Vermachtnis house are the nearly elderly couple Max and Maddie, and their two dogs, Kiki and little Rolf. Kiki and Rolf also had a litter of three puppies who are nearly grown. So far they’re identical but they grow up interestingly.

From top left clockwise we have Zoe, who looks like a bigger version of her grandfather, Quorn, who looks exactly like Kiki, and Captain, whose looks are in a category all their own. Just because she’s the most different (and least deformed), we end up keeping Zoe and the other two are put up for adoption.

Zoe likes to be right in the middle of everything. She observes Max giving her brothers away to the police officer before later joining the Vermachtnis tradition of Communal Bathroom Time. Unlike her poorly trained mother, however, Zoe knows that the human bathrooms are not the place for her business.

Now let’s check in on Paul and Parker. Parker scares the pee out of Zaube II before having a crisis of his own. I thought I could keep a vampire/plantsim happy by liberal application of grow lights, but he’s forever trying to run outside. Parker is very hard to keep alive and I’m glad he’s not part of the main family so I don’t have to play him much any more. Paul, as throughout his entire life, takes a calm backseat to his dramatic siblings.

When he’s not trying to commit suicide on the front lawn, Parker is very happy to spend time with his wife Elle (for once out of her cow suit) and their two boys: Trevor (in red) and Rory (in brown).

Paul is also leading a happy family life despite being a romance sim. He and wife Caryl have two children: Arthur and Vivian.

And now back to the college house. After struggling with Parker, I discover that Sierra, despite not being a vampire, is not much easier to keep happy, though she is infinitely easier to keep alive. She doesn’t really like spending time outside and would rather be flirting with Prescott or reading in the library. Between constant tree maintenance and parking her at the easel under a grow light, I mostly do okay with her, but she does spendmore than a few nights passed out under the stars.

DID YOU KNOW? – PALMER FAQ

Did you know? Palmer’s favorite place in the world is a bathtub. He can find many activities to do in a bathtub. Now you know! Knowledge is power!

“Congratulations, sir. You’ve spent so much time goofing off on your sister’s computer in her pink and yellow room that we would like to invite you to our private club.”

NO! Don’t encourage him!

The kids all pass their exams with flying colors and the time has come to grow up and move out and on. We’ll check in with Prescott and Sierra before moving back to the main home.

I’m very sad that Sierra’s hair changed and can’t be changed back, but such are the compromises a plantsim must make, I suppose. After a private wedding, Prescott and Sierra begin raising Sierra’s spore baby, Ivy. Prescott is a great dad to her despite not being related and Ivy grows up very smart and beautiful.

Having survived three whole days of raising a toddler, Prescott and Sierra decide they’re ready for a challenge and have five kids. Unfortunately they have four boys so I couldn’t use the many nice girl plant names I thought of and end up naming the boys some pretty dumb things.

Leaf Oak

Rose ThornAsh

Finally we’re back at the main house. Palmer has arrived home and invited Lexie to move in. Penny also moves home to provide a cheese grave. Astoundingly, Lexie brings $11,000 with her, which is the most I’ve ever gotten from an NPC. How much was she getting paid at that maid service? Lexie’s personality is 8/7/7/1/2 and besides maxed cleaning she has a good smattering of skills.

Anyway, Max and Maddie had a small, private wedding, but we’ve all been planning for a grandiose one for Palmer and Lexie. The family gets to know each other first over – yes – plates of grilled cheese.

The wedding is held that evening, after sunset so that Parker can attend. Palmer invites every Vermachtnis he knows plus a few extra friends and characters, and nearly everyone shows up despite only a few of them actually liking Palmer. Some kind of alien magnetism is going on, I guess. My computer froze for a good time while it generated the hordes of guests that descended on the house from both sides. Of course, it wouldn’t be a party if a few fights didn’t break out, so we had one of those at the very beginning over at the right of the picture. Lexie started her bridal walk from the far corner of the lot to give everyone time to seat themselves.

Even despite that a good number of guests never made it to seats, but by the time Lexie had made her way around the house, most of them had. Some of the pictures aren’t as great as I would have liked due to the lighting, but it was a very beautiful wedding nonetheless. Certainly it was a well attended one.

For more details and pictures about the wedding and the following honeymoon, please check out the extra story “Greetings from Romantic Twikkii Island,” also on my livejournal.

Palmer and Lexie said their vows and kissed and it was official – Lexie was now a Vermachtnis and the sixth generation was complete.

Palmer, now a family sim (grumble), was elated at the marriage.

Lexie, a romance sim, didn’t fear the wedding but might have had some second thoughts as she quickly rushed away from the ceremony and the guests. Interestingly, I had given all my main sims second aspirations and Lexie rolled family. Perhaps that made the difference. Palmer’s was cheese, yet another commonality for him and Penelope.

The party was a roaring success and besides being a great time, it provided many opportunities for visiting with Vermachtnises of generations past.

After a little alone time upstairs, Palmer and Lexie joined the party and socialized until almost 4 am. Tired but happy, they immediately left for their honeymoon on Twikkii Island.

While there they stayed at a Vermachtnis-owned beach house and explored the many activities and locales the island had to offer. Palmer become obsessed with sandcastles and built one on every beach they came across. Sometimes two.

Unlike most Vermachtnis brides, Lexie did not become pregnant immediately before or after her wedding. Rather, she enjoyed five full days of vacation time before conceiving. Once she had though, she was more than happy to tell all the locals about it. Finally the time came to go home, and the two happy newlyweds were ready to start their family.

Hey Malcolm, whatcha doin’ at the Vermachtnis house?

“Oh crap, this is their house?! I thought it was just some new family. I’m getting out of here!”

Someone is trying to evade his destiny. Too bad Palmer didn’t catch him.

Now that Palmer and Lexie are home again, we can move on with the regular business of the legacy. It’s finally time for Max and Maddie to age up. Max goes first and Maddie follows . . .

. . . And aww, they’re still super cute together. I’ve been saving this pink elder outfit forever – it’s just so Max. I love his hair too. He looks like a crazy Mozart to me, hee hee.

Lexie finally shows her pregnancy. Pregnant sims in my game get pretty much whatever they want, and what Lexie wants is to make pottery. Mmkay. She’ll eventually get her silver talent badge by the time the baby’s born, and then forget all about the wheel, never to desire it again. Sims can be so fickle.

Time to start painting the official portraits of generation six.

They go on a long interior wall that houses all the portraits, stretching back to the founder, Asher Vermachtnis.

Only a few days into adulthood, Penny finally finishes her LTW while her great aunt Jay looks on. Now that Penelope is permaplat . . .

. . . It’s time to get back into shape. The bottom picture wasn’t exactly the shape I had in mind, but she eventually settles out to a nice, normal sim size.

Like I’ve found with a lot of ‘large count’ wants (with the notable exceptions of kids or pets) the trick is to get the bulk of the want out of the way in college, when there’s less other stuff to focus on. Penelope’s LTW ended up not being so bad after all, and now she’s going to be in great form to help care for the newborn when it arrives.

There are several reasons why Palmer and Lexie might not make the best couple, chief among them being their conflicting aspirations. However, they’re head over heels in love and will happily spend long periods of time just interacting with each other. They have two bolts and I have a strong suspicion that it would be three if their aspirations were compatible.

Oh, Palmer. Palmer, like any self-respecting mean sim, cheats at chess horribly. He normally gets away with it but after about four cheats in a row, Max finally catches him and is none too happy. I love Palmer’s reaction, though: “Who, me? Nah.”

“Um, thanks for baking me dessert and all, Maddie, but you’d think an executive chef would be able to not burn the cheesecake.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”

Finally the time comes for the first birth of generation seven early in the morning, right after sunrise.

Our little nooboo is a green-skinned, black-eyed, red-haired little charmer named Samwise, Sammy for short. Yes, he’s named after the hobbit. I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Tolkien nerd. I actually came this close to naming gen. 3’s Gabi Galadriel. Samwise seems a bit more normal so I’m sticking this baby with it.

Oh joy! Lexie performs the handoff and we all know what that means. But wait – why is Penny receiving nooboo number one instead of Palmer? Well, he thought the middle of the birth of his firstborn was a good time to go clean the dog bed. When he comes back, he lets Maddie know he had a baby.

“I know, fool! Unlike some people, I was here for it.”

Yay! The cheesecake paid off and they had twins! With the extra adult (Penny) in the house, we can only get away with three children so the next pregnancy will also be cheesecaked so I can slip in an extra child for a total of 4.

Baby number two also has black eyes and red hair, but has skintone number three. I love the black eyes with the normal skin! It looks like Palmer’s genetics are highly heritable. We name the second-born Sebastian.

The new parents are fairly occupied, but what’s going on with the elders? Well, Maddie continues to be a ridiculous tub pirate, and both Maddie and Max complete their second LTW of becoming celebrity chefs. Palmer and Lexie couldn’t try for baby again, so I realize I have to get rid of one of the dogs and I let Kiki go. Max is close to all the dogs and is distraught when the officer comes for Kiki. I felt very bad, but two kids is clearly inadequate for a Vermachtnis generation.

Just a few days later and it’s the babies’ birthday. I hope they get Palmer’s big eyes!

Well, Sammy has big eyes though not quite as big as Palmer’s were at this age. Sebastian has normal size eyes, but he’s a cutie nonetheless. Both the boys are pretty adorable, but Sebastian has that extra something that puts him over the top. You can’t tell with their unruly hair, but both boys have pointy ears as well.

Sammy’s personality is 7/8/9/10/1. Sebastian’s is 10/8/4/10/0. Looks like the mean gene is pretty strong. I wonder if we’ll get anyone even just moderately mean this generation.

“I, Sergeant-At-Arms Madeleine Vermachtnis, call this meeting to order.”

“And I, President Maxwell Vermachtnis, would like to welcome you all to today’s meeting of the Idiots’ Club. First order of business: we’ll stand around in the nursery and ‘hang loose’ at each other for several hours. Sound good? First, though, let’s read the minutes from yesterday. Secretary Lexie Vermachtnis?”

“Present. Yesterday, we stood around in the nursery and ‘hung loose’ at each other for several hours.”

“Excellent.”

“It’s so nice of you guys to bake me dessert when I’m pregnant. You know how hungry I get. And I am so glad the cheesecake isn’t burnt this time. I don’t get why it’s always cheesecake, though.”

“You legacy women never do at first. You’ll get there eventually, dear.”

The Wall O’ Portraits is right in the middle of everything upstairs, so the elders often stop to look at them all. There’s something very symbolic about Max gazing at the last red-headed man to lead the legacy.

First as babies and then as toddlers, the twins get a lot of attention with five adults in the house. They are very loved by all of their relatives and learned all their toddler skills, and then were often played with in the nursery.

Lexie’s second pregnancy comes to an end and she gives birth to . . . one baby. That’s . . . that’s not acceptable, Lexie. So here’s how it works, apparently. Cheesecake will give you the ninth sim in the house, but it will not give you the eleventh sim plus pet in the house. Boo.

Anyway, kid number three is named Sean, and has all the same coloring as older brother Sammy.

“Penny, we can’t have just three kids. We just can’t. That’s only happened once before in this legacy and that was before we really knew what we were doing. I was wondering if you would mind moving out so we could try again. And could you take Rolf with you? We desperately need the space to try for twins.”

“Sure, Palmer. I’ve got some plans of my own anyway. No hard feelings.”

“Plans of your own, huh? I wonder if they include Malcolm . . .”

This moment of wrongness has been brought to you by Freetime.

With three little sims in the house – soon to be five - and all four (now minus Penny) adults working, someone needs to stay home, so that someone is Maddie and she retires.

Palmer’s LTW is to become Education Minister. Lexie’s is to become Celebrity Chef. Thankfully they both got easy LTWs but they need to work to get there. Max stays employed because it keeps him out of my hair for three days out of the week.

I know everyone else is probably over it by now, but hey, I just got up to date with all my EPs and I adore this little table. The boys are so cute playing at it, they get to learn a different skill, and they make friends while they do it! How great is that?

These pictures are mostly here just because they’re really sweet.

Like his brothers before him, Sean is a very well cared for baby. I’m a little frustrated that we got another boy. Palmer’s generation had four boys and only one girl and I’m afraid I’m going to end up with a generation of ALL boys. My game seems to be rather fond of them at the moment. The last three births before this – in the Masterpiece legacy – were all boys too.

DID YOU KNOW? – PALMER FAQ

Did you know? Even as an adult with lots of responsibilities, Palmer still works in plenty of bathtub time. He’s very good at sneaking away to play in it! Now you know! Knowledge is power!

The twins have a birthday and continue to be very cute. It’s more obvious that Sammy has more of Lexie’s genes and Seb is an unabashed cutie pie. Their first day at school, they bring home two distant, also red-haired cousins: Ethan and Morris Jr. Vermachtnis, the sons of Morris and Lydia Vermachtnis.

That evening, Morris comes over to collect his sons but not before a little inane gossip with fellow Academie Le Tour alumni Madeleine. “Did you hear?” she asks. “My not-son got married!”

“I know,” he sighs. “I was there. Remember, I got into a fight? Oh yeah, I was there.”

The twins are both a little strange in their own ways. Seb is super neat so he really enjoys cleaning things autonomously, just like his dad. Sammy seems to be a genius and learned things very quickly as a toddler. As a child, he continues to learn quickly but he also keeps desiring to raise his mechanical skill. I rarely see children so interested in skilling.

Sean’s birthday! Everyone – including baby Sean in the very middle of growing up – is fascinated by the bunny man that came home with Lexie from work.

And Sean is a clone of Samwise. Damn you, firstborn effect! I had honestly forgotten all about it until I looked at Sean’s face and personality. So now we have two big-eyed aliens with the same personality. Super. At least they’re cute.

“Say ‘bottle’, Sean.”

“Okay, okay. Bottle. What’s the big deal?”

Ooh, looks like we got ourselves another genius. Sean is very quick to learn his skills.

Cuteness in the playroom!

As usual, Zoe finds her way right into the middle of everything and lures Sean away from the table for some cuddling. I love it when the dogs approach a sim for a little love. Now that she’s the only dog in the house (since Rolf moved out with Penelope) Zoe needs all her socializing from the Vermachtnises, but that bar isn’t bottoming out any time soon with all the loving she gets, especially from the kids.

An epidemic of best friend-ism is going around at the Vermachtnis house. With the help of the play table, all three of the boys are fast friends with each other. The kids are also best friends with most of the adults in the house. There’s plenty of BFFing going on too as the kids get older and know their parents and grandparents long enough. All three of them got plenty of cuddling and play as babies so they had a good head start on friendship with the older sims.

With the space provided by Penny and Rolf moving out, Palmer and Lexie are able to try for baby again. Lexie is once again fed cheesecake and we sit and wait for the final kids of this generation.

Throughout most of her pregnancies, Lexie has continued to work. She gets pretty hungry when she’s pregnant but otherwise doesn’t seem to mind it at all. If Roxy Masterpiece is the worst pregnant sim I’ve ever had, Lexie is probably the best.

Finally the birth comes and the cheesecake worked – we have two adorable new babies. Both babies have Palmer’s blue eyes. The first baby, on the right, is a boy named Sid who is the only baby with Palmer’s brown hair. On the left, we finally have . . . A GIRL! Little Sasha is another red-headed green baby. I’m so happy that we finally got a girl but I thought it was funny that two gens in a row have four boys and one girl.

“Hey, a new nursery! We can relocate the Idiots’ Club meetings! Hang loose everyone!”

“. . . So I said, what is this, the aerospace museum?”

“Ha ha, good one, Sean. Your wit is as fast and clever as a spinning top.”

“Truly, the pieces of that joke fell into place like a puzzle.”

Oh, who am I kidding? It went like this:

“I like toys.” “Me too.” “Me three.”

Seb and Sammy are both adorable in their own way, but I think Sebastian really wins the cuteness contest . . . and paper, rock, scissors. After all their time together in the nursery and at the play table, they’ve grown up to be besties and they spend all their free time playing one game or another together. Except for brief spells of hanging out with Morris’ kids, they’re always together.

Oh lady, you picked the wrong family to fight. Another one of Lexie’s coworkers causes a different kind of commotion by picking a fight with Maddie for no apparent reason, but Maddie gives as good as she gets. Little miss coworker had better watch herself from now on.

We’ve got a triple birthday today as Sean and the younger twins are all growing up. The celebration takes place in the babies’ nursery because it has the most room at the moment. Everyone is there to celebrate as they sparkle and twirl.

“Hey, perfect time to recruit for the Idiots’ Club. Boys, watch this!”

Here’s Sean as an adorable little nerd. Even though he’s a clone I want him to have his own identity. For now he’s staying in the older twins’ room until the toddler twins grow up. Then he’ll share a bedroom with Sid and Sasha will get her own. Until then, though, the toddlers are sharing a nursery and we cram three boys into one room.

And her’s our little twins. Sasha got the big eyes! Yay! She’s so cute! Both twins have the pointy ears so that makes five kids with pointy ears! Except for the ears, Sid didn’t get any alien traits and his face, especially his eyes, shows a lot of evidence of his mother. To make him stand out even more, he’s the only nice sim of the generation with a whopping 10 points!

Sid’s personality is 4/7/10/4/10.

Sasha’s is 8/8/10/1/0.

I’m really happy with this generation. All the kids turned out cute and a lot of the alien genetics came through.

Now for a little story time. Let’s catch up with Penelope after she left the main house.

I had originally wanted her to stay to provide the platinum cheese grave, but two things changed my mind. First, we really did need the extra space. Secondly, her lifetime want wasn’t as difficult to accomplish as I originally thought, so I can redo it with an heir before the end of the legacy. It was a hard decision for me though because Penelope was actually my favorite, even over Palmer (though only by a little). Penny may be my fave but Palmer is the heir and the heirs get what they want. Now it’s time to resolve this conflict.

When Penny moved out, she quickly invited Malcolm to move in with her. They moved to a mansion called The Cheese Palace, decked out in Penny’s colors of pink, orange, and yellow and got busy celebrating their new life.

Meanwhile, Palmer contemplated his stolen picture of Malcolm in his lab. He felt conflicted. Did his love for Penny win out over his hatred of Malcolm? His hatred was pretty strong – he had been nursing it since childhood. Plus, Palmer was a perfectionist and hated to leave projects unfinished.

He decided to have a conversation with Malcolm and try to sort out his feelings.

“I’m going to make you a deal that you should consider very carefully,” Palmer said. “Leave my sister alone and I’ll spare your life.”

“Not a chance,” Malcolm replied. “Besides,” he laughed. “Who else is going to ever love a cheese freak like Penelope? I’m just marrying her to get in on that Vermachtnis fortune. I am a fortune sim, after all, and I know how these things work – freak or no.”

“You take that back!”

“Make me!”

“I think I will! I didn’t like you before and that was when I thought you actually had her best interests in mind. You’ll regret this, Landgraab. I’m going to mess up your little plan to get your hands on our money.”

“Yeah, over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged,” Palmer said icily.

“This better be one good apology to invite me over in the middle of the night for,” Malcolm said testily.

“Sure, sure,” Palmer replied. “But first, have you seen this plant? It’s probably worth millions of dollars!”

“What are you talking about . . . Ooh, cake!”

A deep crunch echoed through HRH as the cowplant’s jaws snapped shut.

A few minutes later, Penelope ran up. “I heard that Malcolm was coming over and he said he was going to beat you up. I came to warn you!” she said, out of breath. “Wait, where is Malcolm?” Then she noticed the grave. “Oh no! He found the cowplant before he could get to you! Oh, Malcolm,” she cried.

“That’s . . . exactly what happened,” Palmer lied. The deep satisfaction he had been savoring moments before cracked as his stomach sank at the sound of Penelope’s sobs.

“Penny, you actually cared for him,” Palmer said softly.

“Of course I did!” she said, her voice suddenly sharp. “And now he’s gone!” Her wail of anguish made the cowplant shudder. Palmer thought for a moment.

“Look,” he said. “There’s still something we can do. We have this old legacy artifact that can bring people back from the dead. It’s a resurrection phone – I saw it in storage when I was little. You just call up the reaper and pay him to resurrect Malcolm. I mean, I’ll even pony up the money. Just pay whatever you think is right.”

“Oh Palmer! You’d do that for me? But it’s not necessary. Malcolm was a frugal man. He’ll be furious if I resurrect him for a fortune.”

“I’m sure that’s true, Penny,” Palmer replied with a wry grin. “Go ahead and lowball Death . . . Malcolm should appreciate that.”

Palmer carried the resurrection phone out from the storage area under the house, sweating and breathing hard. “It’s a lot heavier than I thought,” he said, wiping his brow. Penny simply hugged him.

He stood by while Penelope picked up the phone and dialed. He hoped that his gamble would pay off. Since he had planned on leaving Malcolm dead until he saw Penny’s grief, he hadn’t thought the plan through carefully. Would Malcolm’s return make things even worse? He knew the change that was coming . . . could it possibly make Malcolm a better man?

A blinding orange flash lit up the neighborhood for miles around, and from a cloud of sulfurous smoke there came a deep groan . . .

“Hey man, thanks for the idea to resurrect me. I never even saw that cowplant coming. Weird, huh?”

“Very,” Palmer replied.

“I’m just so happy to be back. This . . . this changes everything. Thank you both!”

Palmer winked. “Don’t mention it . . . brother.”

Malcolm sat down on the couch with a sigh and wrapped his arm around Penny with a smile.

“You guys,” he said. “I have a new lease on life. Er, death. Or unlife. Whatever I have, I’m a changed man. I had an epiphany on the other side.” He took Penny’s hand in his and said, “I never did right by you, but that’s behind us now. From here on out, my life is just family . . . and cheese.” Penny smiled and Palmer laughed, saying “A happy ending for us all.”

That night, after they had waved goodbye to Palmer and he faded in the distance, Malcolm pulled something from his pocket. “When I bought this, I didn’t do it for the right reasons, but I am now. Penelope Vermachtnis, will you marry me?” Penelope shrieked. “Of course!” Before the rings had faded from over their heads, they were married. “It’s a good thing, too,” she said, opening her coat to reveal her rounded belly. “Just in time.”

Malcolm and Penelope Vermachtnis went on to have three children. From top left clockwise we have brothers Caleb and Vance, and their sister Bethany. They lived a life full of love and cheese, and Malcolm became the husband that Penelope deserved.

The End.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Check back next time to answer these burning questions:

Will sensitive Sid survive a household of meanies? (probably)

Will Palmer and Lexie reach their very easy LTWs? (yes, duh)

And who will become the generation 7 heir? (actually a good question)

Thanks again and I’ll see you at SiMania!