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Headaches are neither entertaining nor full of tricks.They are big fat annoyances that life inflicts. They come when you have so much to do,

Like on Erev Yom Tov, Erev Simchah, On days of long listsAnd you cannot sit in the house doing nothing at all.

When a pounding headache comes to callOn the day of a simchah, you just want to bawl.All you want to do is sit sit sit.And you do not like it, not one little bit!There are chores to do only at the last minuteThe list is long, you must begin it.

There are baths to give and little nails to trim.An emergency kit needs to be filled to the brimWith bottles, brushes and extra pantyhose,Diapers, wipes and tissues for the nose.Dresses need steaming and shirts need ironing.Shoes, faces and accessories all need to be shining.

You need to lie down, it’s going to be a long night.If you don’t find some energy, you’ll just look a fright.You are totaled by pain, you just want to crash.Resting is a must; you’ll be better in a flash.

Your conscience and you do not know what to say.You are a mother and a wife,You cannot check out for the day.You have to prepare,You have responsibility.If you don’t get started right awayYou won’t be ready, in all probability.Both left and right brain sides say, “No! No! Make that headache go away!

Tell that headache You do NOT want to play.It should not be here. It should not be about.It should not be hereGive it a rout!”

“Now! Now! Have no fear.Have no fear!” says the ache in the head.“You do not need to take to your bed.There are tricks that are not bad.Your jobs you can tend to, still.You can easily be propped up by a pill.Aspirin, Aleve, Tylenol and moreThere are lots of remedies from the drug store.Take a capsule, swallow a caplet.The medicine cabinet is full of tablets.”

THE VISITOR

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It’s a constant companion, not to be shaken off with bribes, nor to be rescheduled with a few clicks on your calendar. It surprises you and declares occupancy with a cat-in-the-hat brazenness. There is a certain smugness in that “I’m-here-to stay” attitude. You have got to

do as Sally and Dick. Give in. Or should you?

Rebbetzin Faige Horowitz

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“But that is not all.Oh, no.That is not all…Here is more. You won’t be misled.Besides that, There are more tricks for your poor head.Have some green tea!Drink a ginger brew!Soon good head health will return to you!Try chamomile. And cinnamon tea.There are so many herb teas, more than a few.Why stop with only two?”

For the headache that is easily said.But it still feels like you fell on your head!It feels like you got an eggs-cruciating bumpAnd you are certainly in a double-deep slump.You and your progeny are falling apart.It’s getting late and you’ve got to get a start.By now you are nauseous and queasy to bootAnd your headache is presently even more acute.

A small, still voice makes itself heard.“What are you doing? This is absurd!This is not smart, this is not a solution.These are not cures.They are body pollution!Now look what you did!Now look at this house!Look at this! Look at that!You sank the mother ship,Sank it deep, like a dead weight.You shook up the whole house.You’ve got to get a move on for the baal simchah’s sake.”

“You SHOULD NOT be hereWhen a big party is on.Headache, be gone!”

“But I like to be here.

Oh, I like it a lot!I like to join a celebrationAnd be part of the preparation!”Says the skull spasm to the qualm.

“I will NOT go away. I do NOT wish to go!And so,So so soI will show you Another good game that I know!”

The new trick from the prankster pain Comes fast as a fox.It is sealed in bottles, not in a box.Out come two small flagonsStopped with stoppers.“Watch this! You can’t top hers!These are potions from my Aunt Frieda.She comes to the rescue when you need her.These are two oilsI will show to you now.Put on the special drops.I will show you how.Anoint yourself with compresses cold or hot.These oils will ease your headache when pills do not.You can call them Thing One and Thing Two.I call them the twin trees. With them, you will soon feel at ease.Eucalyptus and peppermint, take them drop by drop.And your headache-y woes will soon come to a stop.”

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“No! Not on your body, not on your skin!”Says the small voice within. “Oils belong in the cupboard, in the kitchen,In a cake or a salad with fixin’s.Oh, the allergies they provoke!Oh, the stains these two make!Oh, I do not like it!This is a mistake!”

You open the bottles for a whiff or two.Just a sniff; what harm could it do?You then see those bottles drip from their lids,Drips that drop on your kids.Drips that make their way to the wall!Drip! Drop! Slip! Slop!Down the hallOn that wall.

Baby slipsSlidesAnd takes a fall.Oh, no, that’s not all!

You see Mother’s new gown,The elegant gown with the dots That is navy, bought at bargain priceHanging on a hanger.Now not-so-nice.

Then those Things of yours run about With big bumps, kicks and jumps,And with hops And big thumps And all kinds of bad tricks.

And you say,“I do NOT like the way you play today!If Tatty could see this, Oh, what would he say?”

Your head says to your eyes“Look! Look!The clock is right!”Your heart quakes with fearAs the hour of the simchah draws near.

It’s time for hair, for makeup!“Kinderlach, Tatty just called up.He’s on his way home!Do you hear?Oy, what will he say to this muss?What will he think of us?Oh, he will not like itTo find us this way!”

“Let’s do something! Fast!This mess cannot last!Your Tatty is coming! Do you hear?Your Tatty is near!Put away the toys and the blocks.Put the dolls in their place.Books, Clics and pens, Everything has a space.Tatty will soon be here.He will find this big mess!And this mess is so big And so deep and so tall, He will not like it at all.We are going to a wedding.The house must first be clean, that’s all!”

The kids bend and beginFilling shelves, cubbies and the trash bin.Menchies move and henties remove.But where is Mommy to clap and approve?

Bam! Closet doors slam!And bathroom doors too.The shower runsFor a minute or two.

Preschoolers, toddlers and totsSeem to know what Tatty likes not.Soon they line up at the window, each at his spot.

“Hello, kids! Hello to you!Tonight is the chasunah,Im yirtzeh Hashem by you.Did you sleep? Yes?Did you take your naps?Soon it will be time for pictures with caps.When the cameraman will say cheeseEveryone will shmeichel, please.”

“Hi! I see you are all set.The day’s schedule we have met!Go off to have your face done!No worries dressing the little one! Have none!I will take care of the kids and feed them snacks, too.Take your time, go get ready for an hour or two.”

You and your conscience do not know What to say.Should you tell him The things that went on there that day?Should you tell him about it?Well…

Here is what you may say and do If the man in your house asks this question of you.“So how do you like the special perfume you treated me to?Eau de partee, it’s the finishing touch!I appreciate all your thoughtfulness. Thank you very much.”

What would you say To hubby on that dayWhen the headache settled in to stay? B

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, management consultant, career counselor and reb-

betzin of Congregation Agudas Achim of Lawrence, serves on the boards of several nonprofits and teaches life skills. She can be reached at faigiehorowitzss@aol.com.

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