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WHY I HATE FOUAD
BY: JACOB WELLS
FIRST REASON
HE IS LEBANESE
SECOND REASON
HE SUCKZ AT MUSIK AND SPELLING
THIRD REASON
HE CANT DO A BACKFLIP
FOURTH REASON
HE IS A TERRIBLE DRUMMER
FIFTH REASON
IF HE WAS A GIRL, HE’D BE A FAT GIRL
SIXTH REASON
HIS FAUXHAWK IS GAY
Exhibit AExhibit A
JUST KIDDING…
I LIKE HIS FAUXHAWK
SEVENTH REASON
HE CANT DRIVE WITH HIS FOOT, LET ALONE HIS HAND
EIGHTH REASON
HE TRIES TO PLAY ULTIMATE FRISBEE… I DON’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM HE SUCKS. OOPS.
NINTH REASON
HIM+PONG OF ANY TYPE = COMEDY AT ITS BEST
TENTH REASON
HIS EARS DON’T LINE UP WITH THE REST OF HIS FACE
ELEVENTH REASON
HIS VIBRAMS ARE GAY. AND LOOK LIKE WATER SOCKS
TWELVTH REASON
IF HE WAS AN INSTRUMENT, HE’D BE A VUVEZUELA
THIRTEENTH REASON
HE THINKS HACKY SACKS ARE COOL
FOURTEENTH REASON
HE LIKES BOYZ
FIFTEENTH REASON
HE WANTS TO BE A MODEL AT HOLLISTER
SIXTEENTH REASON
HE CANT PLAY MARIMBA AS GOOD AS JAMES FITZGERALD OR THAT BLIND GUY WHO TRIPPED AND FELL INTO ONE
SEVENTEENTH REASON
HE “LIKES THE SMELL OF WOOD” (HOMO)
EIGHTEENTH REASON
HIS IDOL IS ZACH CHRUMA, ENOUGH SAID.
NINTEENTH REASON
HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF TIMING
TWENTIETH REASON
HE THINKS THE 60 IS THE 202…EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS TELL HIM HE IS WRONG
TWENTY-FIRST REASON
WHEN HE WAS 10 HE HAD A BOWL CUT. LOLZ
TWENTY-SECOND REASON
HIS INVENTIONS AND SUPERPOWERS ARE SILLY
TWENTY-THIRD REASON
HE LIKES TO DRESS UP AND PLAY WITH DOLLS
LAST REASON
HE WAS BORN
JUST KIDDING
(NO HOMO)
