Screenwriting: Writing a Spec Script

MODERN FAMILY

"PHIL'S BIRTHDAY"

Written by

Sophia Loomis

[email protected] #1806955

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MORNING

Phil walks down the stairs with a blindfold on as Claire leads him.

PHILSorry, honey, but I don’t really trust you doing this.

CLAIREWhat?! Phil we’ve been married twenty years --

PHILTwenty-one.

CLAIRE-- And you can’t trust me to lead you down the stairs blindfolded.

PHILWell it’s different than when we’re in the bedroom.

CLAIREPhil!

Haley, Alex and Luke are standing at the bottom of the stairs, disgusted.

HALEYEwww.

ALEXGross.

LUKEI still like playing hide and seek.

(gets it)Oh, gross, get a room.

Phil takes the blindfold off. In the living room hangs a sign that says, “YOU’RE 50!” Several balloons say “HAPPY BIRTHDAY,” and “50.” Giant “5” and “0” shaped balloons float next to each other. 50 is everywhere.

EVERYONESurprise!!

PHILWow. This is... great, this is great.

MODERN FAMILY "Phil's Birthday" 1.

CLAIRE INTERVIEW

CLAIREUsually Phil has some elaborate scheme planned for his birthday, but this year when I asked what he wanted to do, he just said --

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - PAST

Phil is on the couch playing with his iPad.

PHILOh, I don’t know, something low key.

CLAIRE INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS

CLAIREI knew immediately what was going on. Phil was nervous about turning fifty. He’s even started lying about his age! But he didn’t have to worry, I was going to make the transition to the last 50 years of his life a breeze.

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

CLAIRENow I know you said you didn’t want anything too elaborate, but it’s your 50th so I wanted it to be special.

PHILThis is awesome, thank you.

(to everyone)Bring it in! Group hug.

PHIL INTERVIEW

PHILNothing’s wrong. I just didn’t want to draw attention to my birthday because I didn’t want it to be a ‘me’ day, I wanted it to be an ‘everyone’ day and focus on my family. I guess that’s a side effect of getting older.


INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - WAITING ROOM - DAY

Jay watches a child sneeze into his hand and then touch the door knob. A nurse walks in.

NURSEJay Pritchett?

JAYThat’s me.

Jay follows her through the office door.

DOCTOR’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

NURSEGo ahead and step on this scale for me.

(beat)Oh, no need to take your shoes off.

JAYBut these are the ones with the chunky soles, that’s gotta be like three pounds. Can we just try it this way?

Jay steps onto the scale sans shoes. The nurse measures. She writes something down on her clip board.

JAY (CONT’D)Well?

NURSE265.

Jay seems proud.

NURSE (CONT’D)Stand over here and I’ll take your height.

Jay stands against the measure.

NURSE (CONT’D)6 foot.

JAYWhat?

NURSEI thought you wanted to know that too.


JAYI’m 6’2. Let me try again.

Jay stands against the measure again.

NURSEAlmost 6’1. In other words, 6 foot.

JAYAw, geez. It’s happening.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

Mitchell pushes a grocery cart into the store as Lily follows.

LILYDaddy, I want to ride in it.

MITCHELLNo, sweetie, you’re too big.

LILYPlease?

MITCHELLFine.

Mitchell tries picking Lily up but can’t lift her high enough to get in the cart. He tries again using a grunt for leverage.

MITCHELL (CONT’D)Up you go.

He heaves and gets her in.

LILYIt’s small in here.

MITCHELLWell you made your choice you have to stay in there now.

LILYDaddy, are you strong?

INT. MITCHELL & CAMERON’S DUPLEX - DAY


CAMERON INTERVIEW

CAMERONUsually, I love being a part of the Calitchell sandwich, but I needed some me time.

INT. MITCHELL & CAMERON’S DUPLEX - GARAGE - DAY

Cameron is laying on a weight bench, lifting. He has headphones on, and is concentrated. You can kind of make out Barry Manilow from his ear buds.

INT. MITCHELL & CAMERON’S DUPLEX - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Cameron is about to make a healthy post-workout smoothie.

CAMERON (V.O.)Having the house to myself is so rare. It’s good for me to relax, and be myself --

He opens the freezer and grabs a bag of blueberries, but he knocks over a bag a green beans revealing a pie.

CAMERON (V.O.)-- without judgement.

Cameron looks behind his shoulder before picking up the pie.

He opens it and dips a fork in, taking an abnormally small piece.

A few more bites in he’s less inhibited.

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

The Dunphy’s are sitting at the table eating waffles and whipped cream.

Phil pauses and looks around the table at his family.

CLAIRESo, Phil, honey, we have a couple hours before we’re meeting everyone at my dad’s, what would you like to do? This is your day.

PHILI was thinking we could cheer.


LUKEWoo-hoo!

HALEYYay!

PHIL (CONT’D)Seriously, you guys are on board?

HALEYLooks like Luke and I were the only ones.

ALEXYep, those ships have sailed.

CLAIREAlex. Kids, I think what your father means is that we... do a routine.

PHIL(off the skeptical looks of his family)

But if you guys don’t want to that’s fine, our family roots for each other enough as it is.

CLAIREPhil, honey, we will do whatever routine you want. Within reason -I’m not tumbling this time.

PHILI’ll go get my cheer poms.

Phil exits.

LUKEI don’t want to

(whispers)C-H-E-E-R, it gives me anxiety, okay? Okay.

(looks for support)Can I get a ‘me too’?

HALEYI was too popular to be a cheerleader.

ALEXI’m actually a really good cheerleader.

HALEYMaybe.


CLAIRE(to Alex)

It’s okay, honey, you don’t have to be good at everything.

ALEXAnd you guys are being really bad cheerleaders right now.

Phil returns with a set of pom-poms.

PHILThere is no bad cheerleader if you’ve got spirit! Are you ready?

Alex stands up from the table enthusiastically but aggressively. With an accompanying hand movement she screams:

ALEXOH-KAY!

Off Phil’s reaction.

END OF ACT ONE


ACT TWO

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - ENTRYWAY - DAY

Jay walks in carrying a plastic bag.

JAYHoney, I’m home.

Gloria walks in from the kitchen.

GLORIAAy, what did the doctor say.

JAYSaid I’m going to be fine. Gave me some stretches.

GLORIA(re: the bag)

What’s that?

JAY(evasively)

Stuff for my stretches.

JAY & GLORIA INTERVIEW

JAYI’ve been having some shoulder pain. Doctor said I’m going to be fine. I guess I’ve just been lifting too heavy all these years.

GLORIAThe hamburgers he buys weigh a lot.

JAYI do also have a little weight gain. I tell ya, back in the day --

JAY (CONT’D)I could’ve gotten back in shape like that.

GLORIA(miming)

I could’ve gotten back in shape like that.

They both snap on “THAT”.


INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER

Jay unwraps the plastic bag and pulls out the one pound weights inside.

A mirror hangs on the garage wall. Jay stands in front of it and does a front lateral raise slowly, and with effort.

His phone rings and he gladly releases the weight to answer it.

JAYHello?

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY/JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

Claire is clearing the breakfast table.

CLAIREHey Dad, are we still good for tonight?

Intercut between Claire and Jay.

JAYPhil’s birthday right?

CLAIREDon’t pretend like you forgot, Dad, I really want to make this special for him. Try to remember what it was like turning fifty.

JAYFifty, huh?

CLAIREDid you get him a gift?

JAYOf course, it’s his fiftieth.

CLAIREOkay, see you tonight.

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS

Jay hangs up and walks inside the house.

JAYGloria, I’ve got to go the mall.


EXT. MITCHELL & CAMERON’S DUPLEX - DRIVEWAY - DAY

Mitchell opens the trunk of his car where a mount of grocery bags sit. Lily takes one and heads towards the front door.

MITCHELLSweetie, when you go in can you ask daddy to come out here and help?

LILYWe need help carrying the heavy bags.

The way she says this makes Mitchell want to defend himself, but Cam walks out and comments first.

CAMERONSo strong, Lily.

LILYYes.

Lily walks inside.

MITCHELLCam, do we need to put so much emphasis on physical strength as a virtue.

CAMERONWhat do you mean?

MITCHELLI mean that there are other ways to be strong, and I think we should focus on those also.

CAMERONI feel like this is coming out of left field-- sorry, stage left. What is this really about?

MITCHELLI’m just not as strong as I once was, and I didn’t realize it until Lily did.

(accusatory, noticing Cam’s workout clothes)

Did you work out again?

CAMERONI shouldn’t have to feel guilty for saying yes.


MITCHELL(re: the whipped cream on Cam’s shirt)

Is that pie? That makes me feel better. How did you find it? I put it under the vegetables.

Cameron moves to the car and grabs a 24-pack of water bottles from the car and lifts it over his head in a shoulder press.

MITCHELL (CONT’D)Oh, will power, I have stronger will power than you!

CAMERONI think it’s unhealthy to make this a competition.

Cameron takes the water and all the bags of groceries inside.

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

The Dunphy’s are standing in a star formation with their hands on their hips.

PHILNow, we’re not in competition mode but tight synchronization is still crucial so follow my lead. 5-6-7-8...

Phil stands in front of them and walks them through a hip-hop-tastic routine.

PHIL (CONT’D)1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-8. You guys are doing great!

They’re not.

LUKEYou can’t see us.

PHILIt’s an old trick I picked up from the golden age of workout videos.

EXT. MALL - DAY

Jay is determinedly walking through the mall.


JAY (V.O.)I remember what it was like turning fifty and wondering whether my life, from then on, would just be managing the decline.

Jay stands in front of a store window; we can’t see the contents in the window, just the contentment on Jay’s face.

JAY INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS

JAYTime didn’t seem to be on my side after 50, but it surprised me. During a time when people are telling you that the only thing left is a lifeline, I got a second chance at happiness.


Jay walks in.

JAYGloria, I’m home.

The smoke alarm in the kitchen starts beeping.

Gloria pops her head up from behind the sofa in the living room.

GLORIAAy, no, the cake!

Gloria runs to the kitchen.

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Gloria opens the oven and smoke floats out. Jay follows her. Gloria pulls the cake out and it’s burnt.

GLORIADo you think if I put frosting on it they will tell the difference?

JAYWhy don’t we just buy one?

GLORIAI wanted to make something special for Phil.


Manny enters.

MANNYI’ve been thinking, down with sexism, I want a quinceanero.

JAYWhat for?

MANNYPeople need to know I’m a man.

JAYIf you have to tell them, you’re not there yet.

MANNYCan I at least take the trip to Europe then?

JAYWhat now?

Gloria is frosting the sunken cake.

MANNYOne of the traditional gifts for a quinceanera is travel.

GLORIAAy, Manny, today is Phil’s birthday, we can plan our trip to Europe later.

Manny reacts well to the implication, Jay not so much.

GLORIA (CONT’D)Right now, we go get Phil a cake.

JAY(somber)

Wait, look, I’ve been trying to say something. I just want you guys to know how much I appreciate you.

Manny and Gloria hold hands.

MANNY(expecting the worst)

Say what you have to say, Jay.

JAYThat is what I had to say.


MANNYOh thank god.

(to Gloria)It’s not time yet.

GLORIAAy, Jay, that is so sweet.

MANNYWell, let’s not keep the cake waiting.

JAYYou know, I think I’m going to sit this one out.

GLORIA(to Manny)

He’s already been out twice today.

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

They’ve just finished an eight count. Kids are tired. Alex is too focused. Tensions are high.

PHIL(holding it together)

Alright, gang, great job. Take five.

CLAIRE INTERVIEW

CLAIREI was expecting a breakdown at some point during the day. Phil is pretty resilient when it comes to change unless that change means ‘moving on’. Here he was being forced to move forward by the universe, while still gripping on to 50 and positivity by the edge. Soon that last finger is going to slip off. ...And it’s going to be the middle one.


The kids are taking five in the background. Alex rehearses while Haley secretly films her.

Claire walks over to Phil.


CLAIREHey, how are ya feeling cheer captain?

PHILI think it’s going well -- I’m a little rusty but --

CLAIREPhil, you don’t have to be so positive about it.

PHILYou know what, Claire, I do, because if I’m not then who will? Maybe this was a bad idea. If we don’t have a family crest the least I wanted was routine, or a secret handshake.

CLAIREYeah, that didn’t go so well last time did it?

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - PAST

Haley, Alex and Luke are sitting on the couch. Phil and Claire are about to demonstrate their handshake.

PHILOK, so just like this.

Phil and Claire do an elaborate handshake. They finish with a hip bump and a high five.

PHIL (CONT’D)What do you think? It’s the one from The Parent Trap.

Haley, Alex and Luke are stunned.

ALEXThis is a parent trap.

HALEYPlease tell me no one saw that.

LUKE(to Phil and Claire)

I’m only going to say this once: No.



CLAIREWe could all stand to be a little more like you. You’ve been everybody’s biggest cheerleader. Today we’re cheering for you.

LUKE(to Alex and Haley)

I know, what if we came up with a secret handshake.

ALEXOk.

HALEYThat sounds fun.

END OF ACT TWO


ACT THREE

INT. CAKE SHOP - DAY

Gloria and Manny are looking at the case of cakes and talking with the baker.

BAKERThis is the only one we have on late notice. Cancelled order.

Gloria and Manny look at each other, not liking their options.

GLORIAWe’ll take it.


Mitchell, Cameron and Lily walk in. Cameron is balancing gifts and bags.

MITCHELLKnock knock.

LILYWho’s there?

One of the bags Cameron is holding starts to fall.

CAMERONMitchell --

Mitchell looks over and grabs the bag.

LILYMitchell who?

MITCHELLOK I know that was a joke but I can’t help hear a little resentment in that.

Suddenly there’s a loud yelp from the garage. Mitchell and Cameron hurry to check it out.



Cameron, Mitchell and Lily enter. Jay is laying on a workout bench gripping his arm. The one pounders are still clutched in his hands.

JAYAhh.

MITCHELLDad, are you OK?

JAYI’m fine.

He’s not.

MITCHELLOh, well, let me just take these off your hands. Here Lily.

Mitchell hands the weights to Lily and helps Jay up. Gloria and Manny enter.

GLORIAAy, Jay, what happened?

JAYNothing happened. I’m fine.

GLORIAIt doesn’t look like nothing.

JAYGloria, I’m fine.

MANNYYeah, everything looks fine here. Let’s go, Mom.

Manny and Gloria start to leave.

JAYWait. Don’t leave me.

Cam and Mitch help Jay sit up.

MANNYI thought so. “Tough guy,” and the way you look right now are incompatible.


JAYI’m worried about what more you’ll say if I don’t have the ability to get myself up from places.

CAMERONJay, I’d be happy to work with you with whatever this is. I’ve been training my football guys and the bulk that I’ve seen... I mean. Manny will tell you.

MITCHELLThink about what you’re saying...

CAMERONThat’s right, Jay, how insensitive of me, you’re not going for bulk. What are you going for, exactly?

JAYI’m done.

(re: his shoulder)Gloria, help me find a sling for this thing.

Gloria and Jay exit.

LILYDaddies, watch.

Lily is lifting Jay’s weights.

CAMERONVery good, Lily.

Mitchell rolls his eyes.

JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - ENTRYWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Claire opens the door and the Dunphy family enters. Jay and Gloria walk past. Jay is holding his arm.

CLAIREOh my god, Dad, is everything OK?

JAYJust a little work-out accident.

Gloria ushers Jay along.

GLORIAHe’s fine.


JAYPhil, I’m worried you’re getting the wrong picture of this side of fifty.

Gloria pushes him up the stairs.

JAY (CONT’D)Your wife bossing you around, pushing you up stairs to get your arm sling. Having a ‘good arm’.

They’re almost to the top.

JAY (CONT’D)Tell ya what, I’ll grab us a couple of Cubans if I can remember where I left them and we’ll talk about the simple pleasures of aging.

And they’re gone. Phil and family are left staring up at the barrister, where the imprint of an old man was just stamped.

CLAIREIf you’re ever in a wheelchair I promise never to park you next to a trash can.

PHILThank you.

Suddenly there’s a yelp from the garage. Phil and Claire lead the way.


The Dunphy’s watch as Mitch does a chest press with a bar. Cameron is spotting him. One last push up and Mitchell releases the bar on the bar stand.

MITCHELL(adrenaline)

That’s two bar exams I’ve passed, bitches.

Cameron covers Lily’s ears too late.

LILYBitches.

MITCHELLOh, no.


LILY INTERVIEW

LILYI learn my swears different ways.

INT. DUNPHY VAN - DAY - PAST

Claire is driving and singing to herself. A car cuts her off. Claire honks.

CLAIREASSHOLEEEE!

Lily’s head pops up from behind the driver’s seat. Claire looks into the rear-view mirror and notices.

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - PAST

Claire is laying on the couch with a glass of wine.

CLAIREMamma’s gonna get a little drunk tonight.

LILYWhat’s ‘drunk’? Can I have some?

INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - ENTRYWAY - PAST

Claire opens the door and is about to say ‘hi’ when Mitchell walks in.

MITCHELLOof, you look tired.

Mitchell walks past Claire. Lily walks in and approaches Claire with a thumbs up.

LILYYou did the wrong finger.

Mitchell hears this and looks back; then he gets it.

LILY INTERVIEW - CONTINUOUS

LILY (CONT’D)Mostly just one way.



As before.

MITCHELLHey, who do you guys think is stronger, me or...

Mitchell looks around weighing his competition.

MITCHELL (CONT’D)Haley.

HALEYHey!

MITCHELLSorry, but I need a win.

CAMERONAt the expense of your own family, classy.

CLAIRE(sotto to Phil)

Ten bucks says she is stronger than Mitchell.

HALEYI will have you know I go to the gym.

CLAIREYour dates with the personal trainer don’t count.

PHIL(whispers to Claire)

Are you for her or against her?

HALEYThat is so judgemental of you, Mom. I go there to work out.

LUKEI think you’re strong, Haley.

HALEYThank you.

LUKEBut not as strong as Alex.

(to Alex)


(MORE)

Hey, Alex, want to see if you can out lift me?

MANNYReally? I’m your workout partner.

LUKEAnd that’s how I know I’m stronger than you.

(to Alex)You in?

ALEXWhy me?

LUKEWhen we were at the bottom of the pyramid, I didn’t want to carry any of the weight, and Haley and Mom were both up there.

HALEYI’m in. I can’t believe you guys don’t think I’m strong.

ALEXSo when I said, “it feels like it’s a inverted pyramid,” and no one answered, I was right?

LUKEI don’t like to respond to the word ‘inverted’.

MANNYLuke, let me show you why Kirsten Patel appreciates it when I carry her backpack.

PHILA little friendly competition, I like it. Let’s get this going.

Phil grabs a plate for the bar.

PHIL (CONT’D)Cam you wanna grab the other one?

MITCHELLWhy not me?

CLAIREOr me, Phil?


LUKE (CONT'D)

It’s true the plate is furthest from Cam. Phil looks around awkwardly.

PHILHaley, do you wanna grab that?

HALEYI can’t lift that.

Gloria enters with Joe.

GLORIAWhat are you still doing in here?

CAMERONTrying to decide who’s strongest.

GLORIAThat is easy. I am.

CLAIREOh, no, between the kids and Mitchell.

GLORIAAlex.

Manny looks betrayed. (So does Mitchell.) Gloria notices Manny.

GLORIA (CONT’D)Ay, no, I pick Manny. This reminds me of Columbia. All that’s missing is the betting.

Manny looks scared. Phil looks to Claire.

CAMERONThat’s so interesting... So you think between all of us

(mostly pointing at himself)

You would be the strongest?

MANNYMom, what did you mean when you said that picking me reminded you of Columbia?

GLORIAWhy do you think those are here?

Gloria points to the heaviest plates.


GLORIA (CONT’D)Why do you think these are here?

(indicates breasts and breast height)

MANNYGloria?

GLORIAManny, you are not adopted. This is Phil’s birthday, he does not want to spend it in the garage.

CAMERONI think what Phil wants, is to settle this.

GLORIASettle what?

CAMERONThe alpha.

Jay enters. He has a sling on his arm.

JAYWhat are you guys still doing here? Cake’s waiting.

CAMERONThe cake can wait.

Mitchell is sarcastically shocked. Cameron eyes him.

CLAIRECam thinks he’s stronger than Gloria.

(sotto to Phil)Six to one against.

JAYThat’s ridiculous, Gloria’s stronger, now let’s go eat, this is not what today’s about.

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

They’re gathered around the cake.

PHILI like it. It looks at the glass half full.


The cake says, “YOU’RE ALIVE!”.

GLORIAI’m sorry, Phil, it was the last one they had.

JAYYou know what why don’t we do cake later. Let’s go to the backyard, we’ve got chips, we got lights... we’re going to make this a good birthday.

PHILI can’t see why not with chips and lights.

EXT. JAY & GLORIA’S BACKYARD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

They walk through the glass door to an oasis of a backyard. Lights line the pool which is filled with inflatable animals. It looks like a party.

GLORIASurprise!

Manny pats Phil on the back.

MANNYYou’re only old once.

GLORIADo you like it?

PHILThis is awesome! Thanks, guys. Everybody jump in!

CLAIREPhil, no -

Luke jumps in - clothes and all. Everyone stares at Luke in the water.

PHILYeah! Everybody jump in!

Many of the group jump in happily.


EXT. JAY & GLORIA’S BACKYARD - NIGHT - LATER

People are still floundering in the pool. Claire sits on a lounge chair in a robe, ringing out her hair. Phil is sitting next to her.

PHILThank you for everything today.

CLAIREThanks, honey. I wanted it to be special.

(beat)Fiftyyyy...

PHILYou’ve been saying that a lot today. Is everything okay?

CLAIREHave I? I’m sorry. I think it’s just that you’re the first one to turn 50 and 50 always seemed so distant, like, it was something my Dad was, but never me.

PHILThat’s what’s bothering you? Getting older.

CLAIREYeah, Phil, how is this not bothering you more?

PHILBecause we’re getting older, but we haven’t aged. You see that?

Phil gestures to Jay, who is turning on a large outdoor fan and pointing it over his wall.

Jay notices them watching.

JAYNeighbors are smokers. Every time they start their little get together I give them a taste of their own medicine.

Phil turns back to Claire.

PHILThat’s age, and we’re not there yet. We’ve still got time.


CLAIREYeah. Thank you, honey.

They start to walk away. A sweet moment. Then Phil pushes Claire into the water. When Claire comes up:

CLAIRE (CONT’D)PHIL!

PHIL(scared)

I thought we were being our young, playful selves.

CLAIREWe’re young-ER, not young.

Phil reaches to pull Claire up. Claire goes to take his hand and pulls him into the water. When Phil comes up:

PHILYeah! I’m a merman!

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER

Jay is near the bar pouring himself a drink. Phil, hair still wet, walks by in a bath robe.

JAYPsst. Phil. Come here a sec.

Phil walks over to him.

PHILWhat’s with all the sneakery, Jay?

JAYI want to give you something.

Jay holds out a small box. Phil gasps.

JAY (CONT’D)Calm down. Fifty’s a big deal. Sometimes it can feel like going down hill, and you’re scared the momentum will get you to the bottom too fast and too soon, and that you’ll be dead before people can tell you that you’ve got that old man smell.

The metaphor makes Phil nervous.


JAY (CONT’D)But really it’s like a new beginning, because the hike up you spend with your nose to the ground, but the hike down you can enjoy the view. The best years of your life are ahead of you, and this is to commemorate that.

Jay gives Phil the box.

PHIL(re: box)

Jewelry?

JAYI knew this was a bad idea.

Phil opens the box. A sleek watch gleams in the box.

PHILWow, Jay, I don’t know what to say.

JAYThen don’t say anything. Happy Birthday, Phil.

Phil goes for a hug. You could call what Jay does “reciprocating,” but he soon pulls away.

JAY (CONT’D)This never happened.

INT. JAY & GLORIA’S BACKYARD - NIGHT

The Dunphy’s do their cheer routine in front of the rest of the family. It’s sloppy, spirited, and awesome.

PHIL (V.O.)When we feel weak a family is a support system, and we take turns being that support for each other.

Pyramid time. Alex is holding most of the weight.

PHIL (V.O.)That’s what makes us stronger as family.


INT. JAY & GLORIA’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

The family is gathered cozily. Most of them are still in bath robes. Phil is at the helm. Everyone has a drink in their hand and some have a piece of cake. Phil raises his glass.

PHILSo, cheers!

EVERYONECheers!

They give Phil a group hug, Luke is close to the middle.

LUKENo offense, Dad, but you kind of smell.

Jay sits in a nearby armchair with a scotch in his hand.

JAY(to Phil)

That’s called elder abuse now.


TAG

PHIL INTERVIEW

PHILThat was actually my 49th birthday.

FADE OUT.

END OF SHOW


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Screenwriting: Writing a Spec Script