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The Audience is listening
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
NOT ME!
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
NOT ME!
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Laugh
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Applause
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Laugh
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Applause
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Or that’s what he says!
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Or that’s what he says!
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Or that’s what he says!
Who wants to be a…
The Government’s new terrorism laws help us
to be protected and safe, while allowing us to be Young and Free.
Authorised by:$%$(*%&^$%*$ &%$^$%$&%*
Canberra
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Applause
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Ooooooo…
Who wants to be a…
Sponsored by:
RMITAustralia’s PremierTechnical University
Who wants to be a…
Who wants to be a…
Applause
Government Sanctioned Arts Practitioner TM
Julian ObfukaticMovement ArtistArtistic Director, Spunky Groove
Julian was the only respondent to a nation-wide call for ‘Movement Artisans’
to come forward
Julian ObfukaticMovement ArtistArtistic Director, Spunky Groove
John Freeman OBE, OA, WD40
Chief Bureaucrat.Office of Australian Identity
What is contemporary movement?
Excepts from Spunky Groove’s 1994 Piece:
“Arcane”A work based on modern
subatomic quark theory and it’s relationship to Icelandic
Renaissance Poets
Susan Lá PõüffêCouturier & Textile Product DeveloperPOUFFE Enterprises
How do you see your role in this project?
Fragmenta ScapeArchitect and Spatial DesignerLAB+Frag Studio
Kirsty ZygoteWriter, Broadcaster, Publisher & RaconteurMother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
Kjirstih ZygoteWriter, Broadcaster, Publisher & RaconteurMother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
$(*&%^# ZygoteWriter, Broadcaster, Publisher & RaconteurMother’s Of Invention Pty Ltd.
Dieter DieterNew Media Installation & Video Artist(& part-time Gender Illusionist)
© 2003Umpski-Doomski Music
Fed Squad HQ9:06AM
Creative Development MeetingFed Squad HQ
3 months beforethe ‘event’…
Architectural Review MeetingFed Squad HQ4:35PM
Marg’s Day Spa,Daylesford, Victoria2:56PM
Creative Development MeetingFed Squad HQ
10 days beforethe ‘event’…
The Docklands Stadium is now known as the
“Telstra Dome”.
Geometrical Analysis has proven that the
stadium is not a ‘dome’.
Telstra were unavailable for
comment.
Susan’s PA, Marge has a PhD. in Paleolithic
Botany
Construction of the North East Shard was
halted when non-unionised lemurs were found welding girders
in early June.
Planet Ark Hotline: 131166
‘Hydro’ premiered at the National Theatre, St
Kilda in July 1999.
It went on to win Best Use of Iron (by Faggots)
at the*wallpaper ‘Shit-Hot’
awardsin Bristol.
2 Months ago…On route to Planning Meeting
3 Months ago….‘Getting-to-know-you’ BBQ
1 Month ago….Fed Squad HQ
Meanwhile…Back in the present…
Fed Squad HQ7:34PM
4 Hours to GoEvent Management Tent
Dieter Dieter was commissioned to
capture the Federation Squad’s “event” on
film.Dieter’s artistic choice was to not capture the event conventionally.
What follows is Dieter’s ‘re-creation’of the event.
The Roulette,The Quiche,
His Life,& My Lover
A Film byDieter Dieter
14 drugged kangaroos performersrappel down the temporary cardboard shard
Rove (on ice) interviews Vanessa Amorosi (on skis)
Vanessa Amorosi (still on skis) sings‘Shine’
Vanessa Amorosi (remaining on skis) sings‘I’m a Melbourne Slapper’
The Melbourne Marching Boys perform“Go West”
Angry Anderson sings“Bound for Glory”
Steve Erwin (AKA The Crocodile Hunter)Enters on horseback
John Freeman and Kjirstih Zygote are caught red-handed.Fragmenta Scape (in flight suit) exiting at rear
Julie Anthony sings “Advance Australia Fair”Carried on by 2002 AFL Premiers the Brisbane Lions
Julie Anthony still singing “Advance Australia Fair” 12 hours later.The Brisbane Lions are now rather tired.
Nicki Webster (suspended) over the square.She doesn’t sing.
Julian starts an impromptu conga-line
Meanwhile, on MoonBase Alpha, no-one was home.
Cathy Freeman enters with Squarewith the “Flame of Federation”
After a small technical hitch with the gigantic torch mechanism,Cathy is ready to light the flame
Cathy Freeman and the lit ‘Flame of Federation’
The ‘G’day’ Twin Shards Visitors Centre
Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette past the Shards
Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette towards the Shards
Fragmenta piloting an RAAF Roulette into the Shards
Death. Destruction. Lego.
I dedicate this film to the memory of Quiche.
A Film byDieter Dieter
Julian Obfukatic is now a bush-dance
teacher at Bangarra State School
Kjirstih Zygote was the first person evicted
from Celebrity Big Brother IV
John Freeman now tours as the lead
performer in the “Oz Neil Diamond Experience”
(seen here at the Wangaratta Taberet)
Fragmenta Scape died during the ‘Centenary of
Federation’ celebrations when the Roulette PC9A she was flying crashed into the Twin Shards at
Federation Square.
Susan Lá Põüffê died from massive
internal injuries suffered during a
frenzied attack by a mob of irate kangaroo
movement artists.
Dieter Dieter (aka Lorraine Henderson)
continues to fend off calls from NW and Woman’s Day wanting her side of the story
to her lesbian affair with Sally Carey. She now lives in Queensland with her mother,
masturbating and eating pizza.
