Chinless Central -2017by ‘Bayko Baron’

• Every day these portals pour the millions from the new suburbs into the heart of the old city

• But today is special – the old Queen herself is visiting

• A sudden panic seizes the patriotic crowd as the cobbles beneath them begin to tremble – then out of the ground itself thrusts a terrible steel snout

• For an awe-struck moment the crowd is transfixed as a lone figure emerges from the metal monster a smoking bomb sputtering in his outstretched hand – it is Enoch Snood the eccentric tripe and

cowheels millionaire turned anarchist

• But Enoch has woefully underestimated not only the Old Queen – who after seven attempts on her life always packs a piece under her crinoline – but also the heavily armed nature of the average Victorian crowd – not to mention the loyal Dribble the Doberman who reduces his murderous device to a soggy sizzle with a single well-

aimed jet of…. liquid.

• Thwarted the villain seizes a steam bike and makes off down Atbara Terrace, pursued by Shirley the ‘Consulting Dick’ on a commandeered hearse, the crew of HMS Minty on

foot and tuppence hapenny worth of CID undercover men

• The day saved Vicky poses for a snap – The machine is requisitioned by London Underground - Dribble enjoys a season’s fame at the Barking Hippodrome and his autobiography ‘Paws for Thought’ is a best seller. Chinless Station is eventually

redeveloped, in 1940, by Messrs Schmidt and Heinkel.