Hey there. It’s good to have you here. You know, there’s nothing like chopping wood to the melody of the red-throated loon

to help you realize what’s important. Like being a dependable, strong, yet caring man. The kind of man who says “Honey, let

me do that.” That’s just what we teach you here at Brawny Academy. So curl up with your favorite power tool and get ready

to learn how to become a better man.

No one is exactly sure where the Brawny Man comes from, but the loresurrounding his origin is as rich as his silky brown hair. Some say he wascreated by Sanitarius, the Greek goddess of hearth and home; some say he was created by a paper company.

Yet perhaps the most outrageous story is told by two hunters who, while campingi n t h e Bl u e R i d g e Mo u n t a i n s , we reconfronted by a grizzly bear. While beingviciously attacked, they reported seeing a

“hulking, giant-sized man emerge from thin air wielding an ax.” His presencewas so intimidating that the bear caught one glimpse of him and died of a heart attack right there on the spot.

In any case, the general public fi rst cameto know him in 1974, when he appeared onthe outer packaging of Brawny paper

towels. Since then, he has continued his reign as the Brawny ambassadorwhile simultaneously pursuingphilanthropic duties aroundthe world. The Brawny Man evenpenned a number one dance hitin Sweden under the pseudonym

“Kopernicus Redgrave.”

Over the years, he has become a literal human representation of the paper towel’s qualities.Dependable and strong, yet caring.The very characteristics that we believe any man can achieve with a little time, dedication, and hard work.

An Inside Glimpse into the Man and Legend

THE HISTORY OF THE BRAWNY MAN

CHAPTER 1

The Brawny Man1974-2003

Brawny Academy

The Modern-Day Brawny Man

THICK, WELL-GROOMEDHAIR (NO PLUGS)

TRIMMEDEYBROWS

FLANNEL SHIRT(PRESSED)

RIPPLING MUSCLESFOR HEAVY LIFTINGAND CLEANING

MAN-HANDS WITHA CARING TOUCH

KNOWLEDGE OF HOWEVERYTHING WORKS

AND PROBLEM-SOLVINGABILITIES

SIZE 12 SHOE (FOR CARRYING WOMEN, SMALL

ANIMALS, OR THE ELDERLY TO SAFETY)

GOOD HEARINGFOR LISTENING

HANDSOME, GENUINE

SMILE

LARGE MUSCULARTHIGHS (FOR SWIFT

MOVEMENT IN CASE OF DANGER OR

CONFRONTATION)

“Te Amo” means “I love you”in Spanish. Tell her you love her in

a different language every day.

LESSON 1: REMOVING A RED WINE STAIN

Drinking wine is diffi cult, but confronting an angry wife after spilling a glass on the velour

sofa can be downright tough. But take heart. Even the most stubborn red wine is no match for

the Triple Action Performance™ of Brawny® paper towels. First, calm your wife by suggesting

that she and her sister adjourn to a relaxing day at the spa while you tend to the spill. You

will need to work quickly to give Brawny time to soak up as much of the wine as possible.

Fig. 1a:

RIGHT Cover the spill quickly with a

Brawny paper towel and blot

(Fig. 1a). Then, dilute the area

with warm water using a sponge.

Sprinkle with a moderate amount

of talcum powder; let sit. Finally,

take a fresh Brawny paper towel

and wipe clean.

WRONG Do not cover up the stain with an accent

pillow (Fig. 1b). If caught (and you will

get caught), you will be banished to the

couch for an indeterminable stretch of

loveless nights (Fig. 1c).

Fig. 1b: Fig. 1c:

XSLIGHT AMERICAN PILSNER( light and delicate in body)

SPALE ALE(still light but surprisingly rich in body)

MBOCK(solid and satisfying with a nuance of spice)

LHEFEWEISEN(pleasantly well-rounded; a classic)

XLSTOUT(voluptuous in body and intriguingly bold )

XXLEXTRA STOUT(divinely full-bodied with an extra kick of flavor)

ESTIMATING YOUR WIFE’S LINGERIE SIZE

Buying your wife lingerie is a wonderful way to show her you care. The downside is it’s probably the trickiest of all gifts to buy. Not only do men have different opinions than women about styles*, picking the right size from the endless racks of satin and lace can be dizzying. However, there’s no need to worry. The Brawny Man has created this handy little chart to guide you through the rocky terrain of buying intimate apparel by using different types of beer to determine her size.

*Above all, resist the urge to buy anything edible or made of latex.

G U I D E F O R H U S B A N D S

LESSON 2: CLEANING THE TOILET

Missing the toilet is an unavoidable part of being a man. Studies show it goes back to when

cavemen had to “mark” their caves to show ownership. But you don’t live in a cave, and you

should know how to clean up your throne. Don’t worry—it’s not difficult, and you’ll have

strong, absorbent Brawny® paper towels between you and any questionable specimens.

1. Lift the toilet seat to survey the damage

(and there will be damage). Spray the rim

and underside of the seat accordingly

with antibacterial cleaner.

2. Wait one minute while the cleaner soaks in. Then

take a folded Brawny paper towel and wipe down the

rim and underside of the seat.

3. Lower and spray down top of the seat. Wipe down with a

fresh sheet of Brawny. (If necessary, repeat steps 2 and 3

until the porcelain shines and you experience the

primal urge to soil it again.)

4. Sprinkle some fresh rose petals into

the shiny white toilet bowl to remind

her of springtime in Paris.

She’ll like that.

THE STRONG YET GENTLE WAYTO REMOVE A SPIDER

When finding a spider in the home, it’s easy to just step on it and flush it downthe toilet. Unless you’re the Brawny Man, whose gentle nature would never permit suchcruelty. Spiders have important roles in nature’s hierarchy and should be treated with respect.

First, calm your wife by telling her how great her hair looks. Then casually say, “Hey, why don’t you call your mom?” Once she’s gone, take out a Brawny paper towel and place it on the floor behind the spider.* Gently blow on the creature until it crawls to the center of the towel. Finally, fold the corners into a makeshift carrying pouch and take it outside to a quiet section of grass and lethim crawl out at his leisure (shaking him out is too traumatic).

NO YES

*Before attempting the removal, visualize setting the spider free into the wild and him reuniting with his wife and children. Talk to the spider and tell him it’s going to be okay.

Remember to bathe regularly as womenhave fi nely tuned olfactory senses and can sense smells with the precision of a hawk.

G U I D E F O R H U S B A N D S

LESSON 3: REPAIRING CIGAR BURNS IN CARPETS

The only thing that can upset your wife more than Poker Night

with the guys is finding an unsightly cigar stain on her new carpet.

And because lighter shades such as “Blushing Rose,” “Champagne

Dreams,” and “One Night in Paris” are the most popular, removing

the charred evidence can be particularly challenging. But take

heart–Brawny® paper towels can help.

First, distract your wife with tickets for her and her mother to

attend a live taping of Poetry on Ice. Once they’ve left, do a quick

set of push-ups to mentally prepare yourself for the task ahead.

Then take a deep breath and square off with the cigar stain. Using a pair

of sewing shears, gently trim the blackened fibers from the hole;

discard. Administer liquid glue to the fibers of the affected spot. Then

dab excess glue, starting from the edges, with a Brawny paper towel.

Finally, plug clean carpet fi bers (pulled from an inconspicuous patch)

into the area and allow to set.

Fig. 3a: Distraction and physical/mental preparation

Fig. 3b: Well done,

soldier–ante up!

WHAT YOUWILL NEED:

1 (ONE)tube of super-adhesive glue

1 (ONE) rollof BRAWNY

paper towels

2 (TWO) strongyet caring hands

1 (ONE) pairof sewing shears

HOW TO RECOGNIZE WHAT CHORESNEED TO BE DONE RIGHT NOW

The Brawny Man prides himself on doing chores without being asked. In fact, your wife is constantly giving off clear, unmistakable signals correlating to the areas of the home that need attention. But if for some reason you have a hard time reading these signals, refer to these diagrams from the Brawny Academy.TM

Take out the trash. Give her money.

Go away.Pick up the kids from

camp and take them to eat at Meaty’s Pizza.

Mow the lawn.

Cancel poker night.

Add up all of your bad habits such as smoking cigars, then multiply them by 17.

This is the number of times you should buy her fl owers every month.

G U I D E F O R H U S B A N D S

LESSON 4: CLEANING WINDOWS

As the Brawny Man himself once said, “A window is like a

beautiful woman. The more you care for her, the more light she’ll

bring into your life.” Coincidentally, cleaning the windows is a

wonderful way to show your wife you care.

* You may find that the Brawny towel does most of the work, making you feel small and insignificant. This feeling is perfectly normal. Just remember – you are a special person with many talents of your own.

Fig. 4a: Triple Pack is ideal

Fig. 4c: Spray window liberally Fig. 4d: Use tight circular motion

Fig. 4b: Brawny Scrubbing Circles.

To begin, spray the window with cleaning solution (Fig. 4c). Then take one Brawny paper

towel and wipe in a tight circular motion* (Fig. 4d). When you can see your refl ection in

the glass, pat yourself on the back–you’ve just nailed the art of cleaning windows.

But window grime can be a surprisingly tough enemy. And when you’re

10 feet up in the air battling the elements, you’ll need a wingman by your

side. Enter Brawny® paper towels (Fig. 4a) with patented designed

Scrubbing Circles® (Fig. 4b). Disguised as harmless decoration, they

attack grime much like a shark, catching it off guard, then ripping its

arms and legs off before devouring it whole.

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was the Brawny Man. Indeed, the road to manliness is a tough one, fraught with many pitfalls, and the fact of the matter is, you’re going to slip up at one point or another. But even this presents yet another opportunity to show what kind of man you are.

Just choose the appropriate apologetic token and present it to your wife with the words “I’m sorry.” Because, as the Brawny Man once said: “He who has stumbled knows it’s not his mistake that will be remembered but how quickly he stands back up.”

(certificate to)day spa (surprise party for) mother-in-law(apology)

SHRINKING HER “SKINNY” PANTS IN THE DRYER =

( tickets ) to ballet ( signed copy of )Sense and Sensibility(apology)

ENTIRE SATURDAY WATCHING FOOTBALL =

(two-karat diamond)necklace (fluffy kitten)(apology)

ACCIDENTALLY WEEDWHACKING HER PETUNIAS =

(apology) (meal at classy)restaurant (romantic DVD)of her choice

FORGETTING TO TAKE OUT TRASH =

Remember, the more time you spend cleaning up inside, the more

time you get to enjoy outside.

G U I D E F O R H U S B A N D S

If, by chance, you ever find yourself slipping from your training (like

experiencing a sudden urge to drink from the carton or clip your toenails

in bed), take heart. Simply say to yourself, “I am a strong, dependable,

yet caring man” five times and apply this mask. The old adage “seeing is

believing” will help you step back into the driver’s seat of success. Skeptical?

Try wearing the mask around the house or even the neighborhood. In doing

so, you might find yourself voluntarily putting down the toilet seat, which

takes courage. Or helping an elderly lady cross the street. Maybe you’ll even

find yourself starting a petition to save the habitat of the North American

rain slug. After a few days, you’ll be able to do these kinds of things without

even wearing the mask. Because a man whose life is governed by action

tastes the sweet nectar of a life well-acted.

*While wearing the mask, refrain from inexplicable impulses to chop down neighborhood trees, try your hand at bird calling, or unnecessary whittling.

THE BRAWNY MAN MASK:A SHORT CUT TO BECOMING MORE LIKE THE

BRAWNY MAN.

CUT OUT MASK ALONG THE DOTTED LINE

TIE STRINGHERE

TIE STRINGHERE

www.brawnyacademy.com

INSTRUCTIONS:1. Cut out mask along dotted line.2. Tie mask around your face.3. Pick up something large and throw it. See? You’re more take charge already!

NEW REVITALIZED YOU:OLD, UNCONFIDENT YOU:

Believe it or not, the day will come when your husband actually volunteers

to do chores. But until his transformation into a better, more dependable

man is complete, use this clever refrigerator magnet to help motivate him.

It has subliminal visual cues designed to stimulate the “Honey, Let me Do

That” section of your husband’s brain. The rustic wood grain graphics and

sly, knowing expression of the Ridge-Backed Heron will arouse his inner

instinct to protect the homestead, thus encouraging him to sign up for task

after task. Simply cut the magnet out and fasten it to your refrigerator with

one of your other refrigerator magnets.

THE BRAWNY MAN ISN’T TOLD TO DO CHORES; HE VOLUNTEERS FOR THEM.

Honey, let me do...

My Address:

Wife’s Cell Phone Number:

Anniversary Date:

Wife’s Birthday:

Wife’s Sister’s Name:

Notes:

Notes and Important Numbers:

Visit Brawny Academy at www.brawnyacademy.com

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